Translate

Sunday, July 01, 2018

I HAVE BEEN KEEPING THIS FOR SO LONG!

I have been holding onto this post for a long time, and decided to talk about it now because of the recent happenings in our little 9ja community here. It is about Nigerian men who go back home to marry wives because they say that, Nigerian single women in diaspora, 'don-open-eye-finish!' 'Dem-don-spoil!' Dem-don-pass-dem-around! I get so angry when I hear such degrading words!  Nansense!

How much do you know about the girl back home either? Is it not what they want you to see and hear, that you will know? You see all these our 9ja single brothers so, they just want to eat their cake and still have it! But they eventually get 'served!' And they start lamenting and finding succor in the hands of the same single girls they did not want in the first place after marriage! Mschew!

The blunt truth is that, our single Nigerian men in diaspora, wants a woman that they can control financially! Hence, they say, the single ladies in yankee don open eyes finish, because they know how the dime rolls! How can a lady work 40-45hrs / week, and you want her to account for every dime she spends while you are unaccountable to her? Or you will be using your own money to do big-man in your family back home, while she will be paying the bills here? WHO-SAI! 

Dating here is mostly through hook-ups or dating sites. It is no crime to go out for dates with many men as you wish until you find the 'one'! But our egoistic Nigerian single men, cannot handle that because they only want to be the ones playing the field! Hence, they say the women have been passed around! And they are part of the dates oo! Rubbish!

When they bring their 9ja wives, and the women starts to understand how things are done here, they accuse her of 'growing wings!' Some of the wives show them 'shenge!' I don't know if you heard the story of a wife who called ICE on her brother-in-law and his family because she did not want them to come to her house? They were sent back to 9ja, from the airport before they put a foot on the America soil sef! Another came with 'ojukukoro' eyes, with the thought that the money will be flowing yanful yanful, but got a shocker and was making her husband miserable! Some men will marry these wives and abandon them in Nigeria for years, while they are flexing here and having children! WO! Story brete o jare! Make I stop here.

All what I am trying to say is that, don't believe all those lies many 9ja men have been spreading back home all these years! Just as they came here to 'hustle', to get away from poverty and help their families back home, so did many single ladies! So why call them a name just to hang them, when the 9ja men are not different?

Happy new month everyone! 

  


4 comments:

  1. As a Zimbabwean sister, who is fed up with Zim men, could you help me find a Youruba Demon..but light on the demon..lol! So very true- the exact same thing with my fellow country men but they go for the African Americans after a few months they come back running back to us..nxa they can stay there!! Thank you for speaking on this subject..love your blog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Chinasing, welcome to my blog and thank you for loving it. I grinned widely while reading your comment. I don't know any Yoruba 'demon' oo. 🤣
      Well, you can make your request in any popular Nigerian social platform and see how it goes.

      Delete
  2. its good you've got it off your chest. i can understand your sentiments and you are not entirely wrong. When it comes to African diaspora relationships there are bad nuts among both the men and the women. For example you shared in one of your write up how some Nja women, you included, enjoy their marriage better when abroad than back home because there is too much family interference. On the other hand the laws on divorce and single parenthood favours diaspora women more than those back home and some of our African sisters tend to abuse that extra power given them and use it to oppress their husbands because they know that should there be any divorce the man will be the ultimate loser irrespective of whose fault it is. It could be that the man found his wife naked in bed with another man yet the divorce settlement will still benefit the woman even if she has been in the marriage for only eight months. It is those things that drive some African women to want to go marry from Africa but like you said once they come and they learn the ropes some will take advantage and oppress their man if it is in their nature. The nature of going for a bride from Africa is such that you may not know her very well or she could even hide her real behaviour until she is married and has been sponsored to come over. So i don't advise people to do that. its better to study someone you have met here than to go and import a wife from Africa. However, if you can attract the ladies you want in the diaspora then i don't blame anyone going to where he can more easily get a bride.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Seth, nice hearing from you again 😁. Oh yes! Some Nigerian wives abuse the freedom here. That i don't support. They should know when to draw the line.

      My hubby and I were already married in Nigeria before we relocated to America six years ago. And yes the difference is clear like 7up😁 And knowing who I am,I still see and respect my hubby as the HEAD of the home. He makes the final decision, which I adhered to.

      Oh yes! A man should marry a bride where it will be easy for him. BUT, he should not drag other women in the mud to make him look like a saint.

      Single Nigerian diaspora women are seriously trying oo.So many odds against them! And these our men like to take advantage of their vulnerability.

      It is better to marry someone who already knows how the system works here. It makes things easier for the couples. Some Nigerian men already have kids from non African women, but want children from their own African root because they are afraid the non African women might take their children away from them. So why not find a 'naive' Nigerian wife back home who will be ignorant of his past lifestyle or agree to it because of his 'status'.

      Seth, it is not a black or white thing, many grays in between. I just want to pass the message to my pipo back home that, single diaspora females should be given the same respect as our men folks. The struggle is real, sistah.
      Gracias.😁

      Delete