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Friday, April 28, 2017

HOLA!

It's being a busy week! I have been on training in a different location, and I have a guest from Nigeria. So! What has been happening on all social platforms? Because of many fake stories/news, we don't know when someone is telling the truth anymore! But things are really happening! For the fact that, it does not happen to us or someone we know, it does not mean, it cannot happen ... so we should have an open mind and pick the core in the story.

Wedding party, the lastest Nollywood movie is now in Netflix, with the Disney movie, Queen of Katwe! What an inspirational true story! I wept at the end of that movie. I am listening to Shola Adeoye, live in FB, as I type, how many of you watch him? My hubby introduced his page to me ... I like his boldness and bluntness! His true stories from people leaves me speechless!  

Things I hear some Nigerian diasporas do, will make you wonder, whyyy? Like a couple whose annual income is over a million dollars, were on welfare! Depriving the needy! They were investigated for 2 years before confronted. Or is it when a host found out his son's SSN got missing after a guest stayed with him for a month? The identity thief used it to start a job in a different state. When the host's son wanted to start his first job as a teenager during summer, which happened to be a branch of the same company the identify thief was working, that was when the theft was uncovered! The company data base, said, he was already working in the company!

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Abi, is it a lady, who lied against her elder sister to their siblings in Nigeria because she didn't want to be sending money to them? When the siblings also relocated to yankee, they had grudge against their elder sister, until, the scales fell from their eyes, and they saw she was innocent, now, they dislike that other sibling! Another lady hosted a friend who relocated, on the agreement that, she will start paying bills after 2 months of getting a job. Time reached, oya, come and pay, story enter! The friend moved in with her new boyfriend instead! We siddon dey look! No be this yankee? When the guy use her wella, even take her money ontop, in the name of borrowing, her eyes go clear! Just to pay about $300 monthly come be problem because she wants to do big-woman for 9ja and save? So the host no get her own brukata abi? 

Ok guys, daz all for now! make I go sleep small. 
Wishing all Nigerians a restful workers' day on May 1st. I did not say happy because the recession is biting really hard! Salaries are not being paid or slashed! 
Happy new month in advance!😁

Monday, April 17, 2017

HEY! JUST FORGET ABOUT IT!

Hubby was watching a Yoruba movie when I walked into the sitting room. I asked about the storyline. He said, it was about a man in Nigeria who begged his best friend from abroad to marry his wife, because they were poor. 'Hmm, they will fall in love and she will leave her husband in Nigeria'. I said. 'You have watched it before? 'Nope!' I replied, and went back to what I was doing. After he finished watching it, he came to the bedroom, and asked, 'how did I know?' I shrugged and said, that was obvious, and we began to gist about relationships.

I know, I can be too candid for my own good, but the blunt truth is that, when it comes to relationship between men and women, it cannot be predicted! Anything, can happen, especially behind closed doors! See beauty and the beast! (some memes claim it is Stockholm syndrome that happened to beauty 😀) Some people will come to make noise on social platforms or boast to their friends when gisting, but in privacy, they will either kneel down or prostrate on the floor to beg or ask or talk to their spouses. Forget many of the comments and posts you read on social platforms o! Even if, you live in the same house with the couple, do you sleep with them? 

Abroad can be a lonely place for an adult without family or companion, especially during the winter season. A Nigerian man married an American lady who participates in everything we do. She helps with cleaning and serving guests that the men were impressed,and praised her for wanting to be like a Nigerian woman while the Nigerian women are trying hard to be like the American women. She laughed and said, 'they are still young {she is in her late 40's, her kids have graduated from college), by the time they get to my age and phase, they will seek for a companion, because loneliness is not good'. This is why a family friend who is a divorcee ( her first husband tricked her to get his papers) is about to marry a divorced man from Nigeria in few weeks time. We are seeing red flags,but, she is ready to take the risk, (at least for the next 6 years she won't be alone and who knows, he won't leave her), because she is so depressed! The documented Nigerian men in yankee just want to 'chop and clean mouth', and they don't want 'after 2' as a wife! And, she does not want to be used as a 'ladder' again by them! 

I remember a family friend who was being asked out by her boss who will also know! We advised her to resign because she was the 'good girl' who kept herself for a very long time and had only one relationship. Her boss was able to 'box' her into a corner and she fell yakata like a pack of cards! He sent his wife out, and married her! As my country pipo talk, 'cane used to flog the first wife, na for ceiling dem hang am!' He showed his true colours after she dropped one, that she had no choice than to move out!  He divorced her and went back to his first wife! We never saw it coming! That he would even leave his first wife because he caught her young in the church! He was her first and only man! And he was a strong believer in the word, active in the church and held a position in the church! NOPE! He was not jazzed! He simply wanted a male child and our family friend gave birth to a girl!

This is the reason, we don't understand why some people are in a relationship or marriage, with all the drama involved! It could be because of loneliness, sex, money, apart from societal and religious expectations. So my guys, make we start to dey mind our beewax, and stop being 'tappers!'

P.s, Hmm, my pipo say, since, the bird has learnt to fly without perching, the hunter has also learnt to shoot without aiming! Spammers are really doing something to blogs o! I had notification for 23 comments to be moderated, only to login,...spams! I also get spams from other blogs I comment in, that I don't click the follow up comments again. Hence, I removed the comment section in my blog, since it is only 0-3 comments in a post. IF you have anything to say to me, my email is by the right column. Thanks for your understanding. 

Sunday, April 09, 2017

ELECTRICITY BILL!

I have talked about the bills we pay in yankee, how it really affects the pocket if not well managed. Some might be thinking, how is it different from what we pay in 9ja? My guys, it is different o! In 9ja, I remember paying about #1,500.00 for electricity, so we did not feel the pinch, it was buying of fuel for generator that we felt the punch!
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In March, as hubby was paying the bills, he called me and said, our electricity bill had increased for the past 3 months by 90% ! EHEN! That is 4 much o! I exclaimed! 'Please, check around the house to see what we are using that is consuming so much'.This was because, when he checked the average electricity bill in the same area, ours was too high! He checked the days we used electricity most, it was weekends. He later asked his friends what they pay, it was lesser than ours! 

I googled the peak periods of electricity usage, the best time to do laundry and how to reduce the cost of electricity in homes. In December, the Christmas light was on outside until January. I don't use the dishwasher, the heater was on 24/7 during winter, I seldom use the oven, I cook stew, soup and do the laundry on weekends. So, what could have triggered off our bill to such amount? I walked into the garage ... could it be the deep freezer I moved from the kitchen to the garage in November, and connected to the main outlet? I remembered in my former apartment, the janitor told me it consumes a lot of electricity and advised me to be switching it off for some hours to save on my electricity bill. 

So, I un-plugged the freezer, moved it back to the kitchen. My daughter then told me the washing machine was using hot water. Then I remembered! In January, the washing machine had a little problem, which I fixed and turned the hot water valve on! So, I turned it off. I changed the days of doing laundry;The boys on Fridays, girls on Sundays, and ours on Mondays. Before, the kids do ALL, on Saturday, from dawn to dusk! I monitored the minutes my kids leave the dryer on ... many times they turn the knob to 80 minutes! I told them to switch off the air vents in the bathrooms after a short while (no windows) than leaving it on for hours, and put off any of the Tv they were not watching at the moment, and switched off fans when it becomes cool. I unplugged laptops, chargers and microwave when not in use. I now prepare my large pot of stew and soup on weekdays. 

YAY! Our effort paid off! This morning, hubby paid much lesser! The 90% difference can buy 2 weeks groceries! This is one of the realities of living in yankee o! By the time we add water, sewage, disposal, internet, mobile devices, rent, insurance, credit cards, and  asundry ... yeah, your guess is as good as mine! Wetin come remain for salary abi? Like I have said before, the higher you earn ... complete it o jare. You see why most people credits are messed up or are in pile of debts? Anyone that tries to play 'ten-ten' or 'pakolo' or 'suwe'  with their bills have their services terminated after a letter of notice ... no 'abeg oga', as we do in 9ja!

Some people with similar house, family size and devices, pay half of what we just paid. This is because during day, nobody is at home until in the evening when they return from school and work. Unlike mine, I work at night, and I am home during the day with my baby, until my other kids return from school and hubby from work. I am using the laptop now and the TV is on. I have used the electric jug, microwave, electric stove (It is not called cooker o, it is called stove here,whether be it  gas, kerosene or electric, all na stove!), and I just finished my laundry which I started yesterday night. You see why diasporas can't accommodate guests for too long unless they contribute towards the housekeeping?

It is all about trying to put one's head above waters. I heard a story about a host, when going to work, he would tell his guest to go sight-seeing around the city because he could not afford leaving him alone in his apartment, so as not to increase his utility bills!  ADIOS!

p.s ;Written April 3rd.

Sunday, April 02, 2017

IF SHE IS YOUR MOTHER NKO?

I believe wives in Nigeria have heard this question many times; 'If it is your mother nko?' I had another topic lined up for today, but after visiting my favourite entertainment blog; and reading one of my fav posts, I just had to voice out, with the hope that it can change our way of thinking! First, this was my comment on that post:  




""Hmm, when the topic of depression was discussed, I read comments, nodding my head in agreement because I believed we are coming to understand about it.

The poster,a first time mother reached out to bvs,and as usual,she is tongue-lashed,forgetting she might be depressed. She wears the shoes,so she knows where it hurts badly. And those who have walked the same path like her,knows also.

3 women! Living in the same house with all their attention on 1 man, who has to divide his attention amongst 3 of them! And we all know,his mother will be first, probably his sister or wife will be the 2nd or 3rd! Tell me, which wife will like to be at the bottom ladder?

Some say if it was her mother? And I ask these people, if she was your sister or daughter nko? If we want to play the sentiment game, we will all be going in circles! She carried him for 9 months and cared for him? Abeg, who suppose do am? Me or you? Abi her own mama no carry am for the same months and suffer labour pain? So make wahala kill am because she marry person son? Did she not go through the same process of childbearing now? Please we should stop all these emotional blackmail. His mother had enjoyed her own husband and matrimonial home, so let this nursing mother enjoy hers too!The way a wife handles issues with her mother or siblings is different with in-laws. I can 'cough' in front of my mama, she will see nothing in it. If I do same in front of my in-laws,meanings will be read into it!

Why not put both in the same room than separate rooms? While the wife and baby stays in one room. Haba! She is sleeping in the parlour, with her baby when she needs all the comfort and rest she can get! It's not fair!Abeg!Make we dey try talk true small small!

Poster, it has happened. No point crying over spilled milk. EKpele. Doh! It is time to carry your cross. Stand up! Tie your wrapper tight. Leave pickin with mama, go search for job, since, she will stay for 5 years,and your child won't start school until 4-5 years. Don't bother to talk to your husband, he will tell his sister, and they will gang up against you.Simply be gloomy around him, stay in your room most times. Stroll out with your baby to the park or go window shopping. The trick is, find any excuse to be getting out of the house leaving baby with your mil. Before you know 5 years don come and your sil fit don marry. Oya, go market, buy the cloth that is called 'patience' and wear it. Best of luck.""


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