Sunday, February 12, 2017


Flowers are beautifully displayed in shopping outlets. This always happens in valentine and mother's day celebrations. And of course, there are the big teddy bears, chocolates, cards and strawberries coated with chocolates. Love is in the air! And women continue to complain, they are not appreciated? COME ON! Wait until you see father's day display!😃

A Nigerian elderly man once said, his daughter must marry a Nigerian in this obodo oyibo, because he does not want her to forget her root and the thought of letting her go with a 'stranger' to a different state or country he might not visit often, was scary.This was a hot discussion or should I say debate like 2 years ago, and I was with the school of tort that said; 'where ever she finds love and happiness, let her go', afterall, he brought another man's daughter to a foreign land! And technology is there to help him keep in touch with her. I understood his fear as a parent, but as a woman, I know we want to be with the man that makes our heart go ji-gi-di-ji-gi-di like Nigeria locomotive.😆

Anyways,last month, I heard that the man started singing a different tune when he attended a wedding where a Nigerian lady married a white guy, who happens to be divorced. Trust Nigerians nau, it became a topic for gisting, abi, gossiping, anything una like, call am ... infact, we should be holding talk shows! Why? He saw many Nigerian single ladies at the reception, wishing, they have husbands regardless of the race, and when some shared their experiences with Nigerian guys, they vowed not to have anything with them again, and are ready to marry oyibo or latino! It was then he knew how far!

I have been observing the dating scene here and come to understand why parents allow their children date early as when they are in high school. Watching hollywood movies in Nigeria then, I wondered why parents will allow their children go out on a date? This is because, the thunderous slap or severe beating Nigerian parents will give their daughter if a boy has the audacity to come to their house to ask to see her, is better imagined than experienced, 'you don spoil!' Will be the insult hauled at her! That is why teenagers do corner-corner love, until they are very old enough, which can be in their 20's if not 30's sef, to tell their parents they have a boyfriend. Some parents don't want to know , but expects you to bring in a man to show them, when they start asking, 'where is ya husband?' As if, you will just wave a magic wand ,... abra-ca-dabra, husband materializes! Same parents that were playing the ostrich before o!  Our 9ja parents! I throw-way q-bey hands for una oo!

It can be very cold and lonely, I tell you! Especially for people not with their families. The mind-your-business-attitude, and 'I-don;t-want-litigation-issues-later' don't allow socialization. It is in schools, work places and religious gatherings that people meet and interact ... sometimes ... and it ends as they walk out of the doors. Most people drive rather than walk, public transport is not common in some states, like, where I stay in Texas, it is in down-town you will see public transportation, only Uber operates in the city I live. Some don't like riding buses because they miss the time schedules, and waiting in the cold during winter and under the blazing sun during summer, is something-else! So, how will people meet? No wonder bars and clubs are the places you will see many people in the evenings.

In Nigeria, 'good girls and boys' don't go clubbing!😏  You can be 'toasted' in the bus or while waiting at the bus stop. Your neighbour's son can be 'scooping' you when passing the front of their house. Or your gangster mother can 'set-you-up' with each other. Or your 'naughty' friend can match-mate you with her brother. The list is endless, because, we live in a communal system, unlike here. So, if 2 teenagers like themselves in high school, since they won't graduate until they are 17-18 years, parents allow them go to dates with a chaperone or after the no-sex talk,  because, many marry their high school sweet hearts, after their college degree or immediately self! My neighbour married at age 19, while her hubby was 20 ... 19 years later, they are still together with 4 kids.

I was amused when a girl said she has a crush on my son ... a very tall and pretty girl. I asked my son, he was shy to admit it first, but, after much cajoling, he opened up too ... I told him, I am cool with it ... they can be friends ... when they both go to university ... who knows?😁 



  1. Hmmmm, Madam Nitty. Let's see who your son will marry 10 years from now, lol.

    You are right about Nigerian parents being very strict, yet they want you to perform magic once you are out of school.


    1. Ahahahaha...10 years time you say? Hmm, how old will he be by then? 😆

  2. Nigerian men and their wahala...I is pretty hard out there but it is not any better back here as well.

    Our parents and their ways, it is well with them.

    1. No be small wahala! There own too much ojare!😁

  3. Hehehehe...mother in law in the making things..I could not help but notice the 'tall and pretty'

    No harm in being friends until University sha but I cannot help but remember my time.

    Which mouth will the girl use to tell an African mother that she has a 'crush' on her son?

    She will define crush in her dialect by the time abara, igbati and igbamu resets her brain. Hehehe.

    You know my heart always beat super fast when I think of the vast difference between this internet age and my growing up years.

    Talking about growing up, once upon a time, I used to fantasize about marrying a black american who will wake me up with a kiss and breakfast in bed every morning but I had to shaa settle for my african king when no 'oyinbo' turned up.

    Ask me where I got that notion from, join me in shaking your head for me. Lol.

    1. Lmaooo@She will define crush in her dialect by the time abara, igbati and igbamu resets her brain.

      Dont mind them o

    2. Same here Toin, I laughed so hard @ define crush in her dialect and when no oyibo turn up... 😂 so where did you get the notion from?

      YES oo, sistah Biola, she is very tall like my son, if not few inches taller sef...she is 9ja..but born here..Thank you.

    3. Lol.

      Na from dem early days Mills and Boons o.

  4. You're so spot on with describing African(Nigerian) parents.

    The day my mother randomly asked about my suitors I was shocked, amused, speechless.. Lol you get the picture.

    1. I get the picture wella Tomie.😅

  5. LOL you're not quite ready to be an American mom abi? I don't blame you!

    You're right though about the difference in culture (communal in Nigeria versus this individualistic one here). I've always felt that if I lived in Nigeria I would be married by now but who knows...I'm not the easiest person to date (and in a some ways I thank God for that, though in some other And yes: Nigerian parents spend all this time telling you to avoid dating and to focus on your studies then at some magical age it's suddenly ok to be marriage-minded—it doesn't make sense!

    I do feel that many kids are introduced to sex far too early but I don't know the best way to educate them so that they realize that this isn't a case of trying to prevent them from having fun, but really the goal is to make sure they're ready to be responsible for any emotional or other fallout from a sexual relationship. I of course hope that I can convince my nephew, niece and any future children in my life of the advantages of abstaining.

    1. American mum? Hmm...the 9ja upbringing is still there, though, I try to suppress it...😉

      YES oo, you would have been married if you were in 9ja! ...the pressure will have been too much!

      Watch videos with them in you tube on sex education and explain too. Show them the different types of STDS, and preventions. Weigh both options to them and let them know it is solely their decision to make. Schools are also making a huge effort to educate them.


Thanks for your intelligent input.