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Monday, February 15, 2016

HOW TO SURVIVE IN BLOGSVILLE...BARING IT ALL!

Okay my readers, if you plan to open a blog , here are few survival tips, I have gathered from my ...wait, ....counting my fingers....from oct 2009-present day...hmm... that is about 7 years combining my old and new blog together. So, I have gathered experience ba? I wish I had a mentor to teach me all these in my naive days. 

source


Rule #1! Be a ass-licker! Yep! You heaar me alright! Learn to be a yes-man to every blog you visit if you want the gesture to be reciprocated! Abi, you don't want them to visit your new blog and comment also? It is a give and take situation. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. SHIKENAH.


Rule#2, If the blogger's post pisses you off, because of your ass licking, you cannot say otherwise, you have another avenue to vent your anger! Simply go to a blog you know the blogger visits often and go anonymous to cuss him/her out! What best place, than an entertainment blog, where over thousands of anonymous visits! OH! Don't feel guilty, because 100% of bloggers do that! You can take that fact to the bank and cash it out! And don't argue with anyone who says otherwise, just say, 'you don hear!' And keep quiet on controversial topics like religion, sexuality and hair.


Rule#3, Allow anonymous comments in your new blog, so that you can go anonymous too and comment as many times as you want to attract others to comment and make your blog look as if people visit it often! Afterall, the agama lizard nods it's head to praise itself, when nobody does, for jumping from the wall to the ground! And when other anonymouses cusses you out, don't start breathing fire and brimstone from your nostrils, wasting your energy and time trying to trace IP addresses, because you ain't no saint either! Simply SUCK IT UP, and give back as good as you get! 


Rule#4, Embellish your stories very well, to get a lot of awws, and green-eyes from your readers. Flowery stories get to people. Many like burying their heads in the sand like the ostrich...hear  and see no evil! So live out your imagination and fantasy on your blog! Afterall you are anonymous...or are you not? OOPS! Then you will get busted! OUCH! ... So, rule #1 ought to be, you should be anonymous!

Rule #5, Find out which cliche you belong to and  let your presence be felt. You see, there is the married group, spinster group, working women group, housewives group, student groups, diaspora group, fashion group, and gossip group....oh, don't forget the I-am- the-very-religious-group. Find the one that works for you. Yes! I forgot the I-am-the pretentious-evasive-group. 

Remember, there are no permanent friends but permanent foes in blogsville! Play your card well, to get your new blog noticed. #Winks#

P.s To all the visitors (not readers)  that come to read my posts and comments in other blogs, and go anonymous to cuss me out in the entertainment blog I visit, PLEASEEEE, be creative for once! I am getting bored with cusses that deciphers my size, looks, status and age! Abegyy, no be today fowl yansh dey back!

P.S.S, I will put this post on schedule so I don't delete it,as I have done to many drafts in the past, because I am so done with lies and politics in blogsville!
Drafted.feb 3rd.

17 comments:

@ilola said...

Looolll. I don't even know where to begin my laughter. What happened again o?

When you got to the part where you said 100% of bloggers go to other blogs to cuss other people out, I thought that's wrong cos I never do that. Then I said to myself Of course, this whole post is about sarcasm.

I honestly don't like drama and controversy in any form. It renders me almost useless. So it's hard to pull me into one.

LadyNgo said...

Oh my! lol Blogsville politics

NaijaScorpio said...

I thought this was a tongue in cheek post....until i got to the end. Fear don dey catch me o. I don't believe in permanent foes, I have met a few pretty cool people on blogsville and you are included. I think i might have permanently lost my blogging mojo, I hardly read blogs these days, except SDK which is my daily tonic. Anyway, anyone going anonymous to cuss you is jobless. It's never that serious.

sykik said...

now, i am angry....ggggrrrr.....twice and my comment keeps disappearing. i bind every spirit chopping my comment in Jesus name

Abiola Olaleye said...

This is super hilarious...but i couldnt help thinking 'Na wa o' at the end of the oost.

Truly there's a lot of drama going on and as I no get power, I kuku stick with the 'people' I 'know'. I can't shout.

People are still that jobless in 2016 ni. O ga o.
Abeg put on your gele mawobe and keep doing You.

Love always,

Biolaleye
www.biolaleye.com

justdoitmum.com said...

Lol! Lobatan! These tips are serious o! But I have blog friends!!!! No foes, if I don't like I just forget about your blog, simples! Lol at agama praising itself by nodding it's head! Too funny!

Nitty Gritty said...

NATHING happened again oo, my dear. I have been wanting to talk about blogsville ish for a long while but never finding just the right moment. I am happy you had a good laugh, that was my intention. Remember the book of proverbs says, it is from jokes your friends will tell you, who you are...so I am telling newbies what blogsville is all about in a lively manner.Thank you Ailola.

Nitty Gritty said...

As in, no be small politics o, AHAHAHAHA.
Thank you Lady Ngo.

Nitty Gritty said...

Oh! YES, it was a satire post.
Believe me when I say there are permanent foes in blogsville, some just HATE a blogger's gut for reasons best known to them. I have come to accept that and expect everyone to maintain their lanes. But WHOSAI!
Thank you Sting.

Nitty Gritty said...

Oya, re-write the comment..ahaha.
Blogspot dey play ten-ten abi suwe with our comments.
Thank you Sykik.

Nitty Gritty said...

I am glad you found it super hilarious...that was my intention, hence no editing whatsoever..just went blazing out with my thoughts.
Ha! The drama is on another level o!
That is the same motto I decided to abide to..follow who I know and like Shikenah!
AHAHHAHAA @ gele mawobe.
Thank you Abiola.

Nitty Gritty said...

AHAHHAHA @ Lobotan!
I have blog friends also..like you, but I also have blog foes because of my bluntness and controversial opinion.
Thank you Angel.

sykik said...

come teach me how to tie gele mawobe oh......i need am to face my work lol....

Tamie A. said...

Lol!! This post is really funny. And might end up scaring away some would be bloggers Lol
Going anonymous to cuss out people?? That is just the height of cowardice and joblessness.
I've personally met some people off blogsville and its was really cool.
In life we can all always agree, its okay to disagree and move on. No need for foes. Its all not that serious.

Tamie A. said...

We can't *

Musingsofjudgejudyjudy..... said...

Lol!!!
Funny but spot on!

Musingsofjudgejudyjudy..... said...
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