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Wednesday, February 03, 2016

DIASPORAS CAN LIE!

Viva;'HUMPH! You people for abroad can lie EHEN!

Nitty:'SHIOR! Wetin come bring this kind talk, this early moin-moin, ABEG?'

Viva:'HA-HA! You guys will always be complaining of no money KE!'

Nitty;'E-E- HEN! Nah new talk be that?ABEGYYY! Talk beta thing o jare!'

Viva;'Make I talk beta thing abi?'

Nitty;'Yes! Nah today fowl yansh dey back?'

Viva;'Not at all! But I just want you and other people to stop spreading lies!'

Nitty;'WHAT LIES?' 

Viva;'OK! I read and watch videos on blogs and fb, about the pile of bills to be paid and is not easy to save money abroad, but come and see the twin mansions my brother's friend's sister's fiance is building right now, no be small thing o!

Nitty; Na wa, for this your connection o! Brother to friend to sister to fiance? ahaha.

Viva;'Abeg, leave that matter for Mathias and answer me o jare!

Nitty;'Wetin you want me to talk again, since you don conclude say we be liars?'

Viva;' So, you, Nitty, don't have a comeback as usual? OTURUGBEKE O!'

Nitty;'Just stopeeet! I am just tired of explaining myself to people back home that the challenges we face here, cannot be understood until one experiences it.

Viva;'If I hear! No be the same obodo oyibo, all of unah dey? Why him own come different fa? And nah only 3 years he don spend for yankee o!  I mean, you've gat to see these houses ME-HN!

Nitty; S-I-G-H!

Viva;'Which one you dey sigh like odede so! TALK to me, o jare!

Nitty;'What is the point? You and many others back home will still believe what you want! You only see the front display but not what is behind!

Viva;'Ok-ay! Why don't you explain to me, maybe, I will fully understand this time around?

Nitty;'Are you sure? Because,  you will  continue to see new houses built by some diasporas,and next time you bring this up, I will just pretend not to hear you o! 

Viva;'Agreed! I am all ears!

Nitty;'HMM! Alright o! You see...

Viva; 'You and this 'you see, you see', you no get another words?'

Nitty; 'You want make I talk or not? TAAA!

Viva;'Oya dey talk o jare, ahaha!

Nitty; You are right about some diasporas building mansions back home after few years of relocating to yankee. But what you don't know is that some of them don't have much expenses or responsibilities as others. For instance, your brother's friend's sister's fiance is not married yet, so he can share an apartment with several other guys splitting the bills, living an austere and parasitic life just to save every penny of his and wait for good opportunity like the current exchange rate to make a 'kill' and travel back home to start building these mansions  which ....

Viva;'Wait o! Sorry to interrupt, what do you mean by parasitic life?'

Nitty;'You know how we are taught in biology about parasites that suck up food from it's host's body without giving something back? That is how some diasporas live here. For instance, a guy used his room-mate's sponge and towel! Another wore his room-mate's cardigan! Some will not buy ordinary toilet roll, but wait for others to buy and use or collect from a public restroom! Some depend on the coffee or donuts in their place of work for breakfast, and buy $1 noddles or chips to eat for lunch, when they get to their apartments, it is to lynch on their room mates food! I once told you how a guy's hot pounded yam and vegetable soup was stolen from the table when he went into the room to get do something abi?

Viva;'AHAHAHAHAA, I remember, me-hn, that was mean of the room mates!'

Nitty;'Now tell me, can a married man with children, be able to live like that? 

Viva;'NO-O!

Nitty;'Infact,let me gist you of a guy I know that is erecting an edifice in his town,that a bank has showed interest to lease it from him, and he has been here for just 4 years!'

Viva;'You don't tell!

Nitty;'This guy works for a government agency that has hostel accommodation for it's employees because it is far from the city. 4 persons share a room, paying $25 monthly. Many leave for their apartments in city on their off days to be with their family or to wind off, or do another job, but not this guy. Afterall, he is not married. He lives in the dorm 24/7! He drives only to work and nearest grocery store, which is about a mile plus, so $20 gas can take him for over a week!  And his car insurance was about $40 monthly because of his mileage, and make of car. For food, he depends mostly on the subsidized food sold in the cafeteria. Eating microwave food in his room and whatever food his roommates or friends brought from their home. He worked all extra shifts available , his social life was zero! In a month, his expenses was less than $400 a month! He saved so much of his salary, combined with his tax refund, he started building his house. And people like you, will only see the result and start comparing! 

Viva;'Haa, I didn't know that is how it is o. The guy try sha. He was so determined!'

Nitty;'Yes, he has determination. But can you, yes you Viva, live like that, simply because you want to proove to people back home that you have 'arrived?' Especially as a lady, won't you 'maintain' yourself and have a social life? Abi you will be working like 'jackie' because you want to show that you have arrived?' House that you will not live in for more than 2 weeks in a year, and the managers will cheat you off your investments? Abeg, I no fit shout jor!

Viva;'I understand the angle you are coming from Nitty. All that glitters is not gold, and when you see the glory, ask for the story. Mabinu, for calling diasporas liars.'

Nitty;'Is okay. No problemo. Apologizes accepted. It is well. E-hen, that reminds me o, you said you planned to start a blog also? I will give you tips on how to survive in blogsville. Wait o! What about that gist you be wan yarn me about your co-worker that sent her nude picture to.....

Viva: 'N-i-t-t-y! You with gbeborun! You no dey forget something? And thank you for the survival tips, am looking forward to reading your mail.'

Nitty;'Tire ke? WHO-SAI!!! You are welcome o jare!'