Friday, December 04, 2015


I never planned to write another post until nextweek, but I have observed that I lose the train of thoughts when I want to update or when I save it in my draft, it does not come out as I expected or 'fresh' as I wanted or I  will read a similar topic in another blog, and I  will have no choice  than to delete it. If you have observed, I write as I speak, as if I am talking with you, that is my style of writing which I enjoy, but if I draft it down, it becomes like an article after so much editing, hence, I like to go with the flow.

It is about SAHM o! Infact, this post is long overdue sef! I will like to title it; Non-working mothers vs working mothers, but that will be too 'soft'. Lemme, leave it the way it is o jare!  Will I ever get tired of talking about this issue? NAY! Why? Because, I am still one, regardless of my  part-time job. Hmm, I no go let una hear word again because I don get one shekele job like that ba? Make unah no vex. That is where I get my tori from nowadays. Afterall, nah where pesin dey work, nah from there he go chop ke! 

A co-worker asked me if I have another job with the present one I am doing. I said, 'No. Another co-worker who was a Nigerian, said, I should not say so, I have another job. 'Which job?' I asked him oo. Abi I get a twin that I don't know of? 'Taking care of your children is a job!' I was amazed at his reply. 'Well, thank you sir! Some if not many don't know that!' 'It is those that have not sat down at home to look after children 24/7 that will say that!' He replied. Let me give you a little background info about my co-worker. He is married to AA for 15 years, has 3 kids, so, his orientation has changed from the typical  average 9ja mentality. This led us to talk more about childcare and family as we worked.

SAHM's have been castigated for too long by the society and virtual world in Nigeria. {I don't know about other countries o} The sacrifices made by us are not appreciated, hence, many SAHM, shy away from identifying with the cliche.  Infact, some people  believe they have nothing tangible to contribute to a discussion or worth listening to because, they have no value, since people's worth are measured by their income! (The bedrock of this present society is materialism.) During arguments, it is 'GO AND GET A JOB FIRST!  OR YOU THAT IS A HOUSEWIFE! Or They give more Kudos  to working mothers. Do you know what it is like to stay with kids 24/7? #experience is the best teacher.# If you are hot-tempered, you will mellow down by force by fire!

Many say, it is because of the unexpected.  GOD forbids! {AMIN O!} But I ask, is it only one-sided? Can't the woman lose her own job also? We are all living and striving by HIS grace and not by our own power. I know the cost of living is soaring high, but prudence is the key word! Stop trying hard to be like the Jones! There is time for everything! No woman remains a housewife forever! {What stays forever on this earth before sef?} When the kids get older, we either get back into the workforce or start a small business. My kids can take care of themselves now and help with my youngest, so I can venture out.

My 2 cents on this controversial issue is that, IF you have a good job before marriage, do not resign. Prepare to invest in a good daycare  center or if you are lucky to have your parents or in-laws close by, build a good family support system. If your job is nothing to write home about or unemployed before marriage, start to think of what you can do from home to give little pocket money. My relative is selling ice-cream from her home. I sold recharge cards and ice-blocks. I rented novels and sold cds{not condoms o, before unah naughty mind go think otherwise,ahahha} I even made zobo drinks in empty ragolis bottle water. I was learning how to sew bed sheets before I relocated. All the monies I got from there no fit pay monthly nepa bill sef, talkless of house rent! But it kept me busy for a while and I had little change to spend on my own. I managed a shop for a close relative for a short period of time  and was given an allowance {not salary o} of #20k a month, before I moved to the land of the brave and liberty. 

So my dear readers, I have been on both sides and I tell you that, I don't regret one bit staying at home with my kids. It has it's pros and cons, highs and lows,  but it is worth all the endurance and insults. I might not have all the trappings of a materialistic lifestyle,  but I am content and thankful to GOD, who is my provider and protector. 

Thank y'all  for taking the time out to read my long post. Have an enjoyable weekend.