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Tuesday, November 10, 2015

OVERSEA HUSBAND?

I just got off the phone with my close relative's friend who wanted my honest opinion on a marriage proposal for her youngest daughter from a family whose son lives abroad. He already has two kids from oyibo. They are indecisive because they have heard not-so-good-stories of abroad marriages. 'DO NOT ACCEPT THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL!' I replied loudly and firmly. I went ahead to give her so many reasons, and she was satisfied. I decided to share it here for some of you who might find themselves or their friends in such situation. 


Nigerians have this mentality that any of our men that married foreigners, they  not are not  actually married! In their minds, he did it to legalize his stay! They forget he got married to a woman like them who have feelings! And they think, the children from the marriage will not be recognized back home as his true African Children because, they are abroad and their mothers will not allow them to relocate to Nigeria! So the man has to have his own flesh and blood on his father's soil! That is why some women willingly become the Nigerian wife, waiting for his visit 2-3 times a year to get them pregnant and be sending money home frequently. If they like it that way, good for them! But I will not encourage someone I know to toll such path! Abegy, it is not life o jare! 


I told her, he might still be married to his wife, so he needs her daughter as his Nigerian wife to be birthing for him and warm his bed whenever he travels down. If he is divorced from his oyibo wife, he will be paying child's support for his two kids and alimony, to his wife, so he will be broke often, and expects his new wife to work her a$$ off if she relocates to join him, to be paying the bills! If he is financially ok, he might not want her to mingle with other people,  or drive or go shopping alone, so he can control her, making her a 'prisoner' in their home, which will be depressing! Or he will ask her to go back to school to read nursing or any medical field where the money is, so she can earn a lot later, footing most of the bills, this is to secure his future. In summary, she is just a means to an end, all for his gains! And what about physical attraction and love? What does she know about him per say? Have we not read about Nigerian men living abroad killing their wives? Because of infidelity, money and losing control over them? LET HIM FIND A NIGERIAN WIFE WHERE HE IS, IF HE IS DIVORCED O JARE! Personally, I don't like men with baggages,and long distance relationships! She is just 26 years old. Leave her to find a man of her choice in Nigeria.


You see, our men go back home to marry because they say, Nigerian women living abroad don 'tear eyes finish!' It is like when men from the city go to the village to marry wives because they claim city girls don 'spoil finish!' Only to get the shock of their lives later in years when their wives start to exhibit the same character like the city and oversea women they condemned! What an irony! They want to eat their cake and still have it! There are hardworking and beautiful Nigerian women here, wanting to settle down, but  some of our men, prefer to have affairs with them and go back home to marry because they want a woman from their tribe, and a young bride they can manipulate! 


Listen! Do NOT for once think, you are smarter than the Nigerian men seeking for wives back home! This is because they have had everything planned out before looking for you as a wife! Yes! You might relocate and get your papers, but at what price? Why go looking for an egg in the bush when you have 99 in your basket?

11 comments:

  1. I'm 100% with you on this one, Nitty. Arranged marriages are àlways scary...when shit starts hitting the roof, neither parents would be present. The lady is still young, she'll most definitely meet a young guy of her choice. The grass is not always greener on the other side and marriage is way too deep for this kind of arrangement and that's not to say that all arranged marriages fail but when there's an additional clause of baggage na to shine one's eyes and borrow brain remain....

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    1. ahahha, yes o, nah to shine eye like shine shine bobo ke!

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  2. I agree with you. Lots of valid points.

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    1. I am happy to know that I made valid points.

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  3. Poor guy, he must have given in to his parents who are pushing him to come and marry a Naija wife. :( I say this for sure because it is his parents that are making the moves!

    When will our people leave their sons to marry their oyibo wives for good? They keep stretching these guys thin with their selfish demands. Anyway, it is only men that let their parents even suggest such that will go through that stress.

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    1. You might be right o! Because it's his parents that are doing the search.

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  4. Na wa o. In all the drama, the girl will be the real victim. What if he meets her and doesn't like her, or one of them has a terrible living habit, which they had no opportunity to know? If his intentions are pure, let him find a good Nigerian girl in US to marry. There are plenty of them there.

    From your post, you make it sound like he will marry her in Nigeria, and leave her there to be coming to visit. That's wicked. Why wouldn't he want to take her to the US with him? Is he still with the other woman?

    I won't tell you...

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    1. Ha! Oyibo has 2 kids for him, meaning that she is committed in the marriage and likewise him! IF, he is divorced, it must be well finalized before thinking of bringing any wife from 9ja.

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  5. Some ladies will marry any man as long as he lives in obodo oyinbo......love has got nothing to do with it....while the man is marrying her for his selfish purpose the lady is doing likewise......so sometimes na ogboju jam ogboju.......

    By the way, e ku ijo meta o jare.....

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    1. Mama bomboy! E ku ijo 5! AHAHAHA. Abi oo, both have ulterior motive.

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  6. Nice article great post comment information thanks for sharing

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