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Tuesday, November 24, 2015

I AM THANKFUL.

Watching as a woman profusely thanked someone for given her some money, regardless that she has more than that, made me curious to ask her why so much gratitude? She explained to me that, it is not easy for people to part away with their hard-earned cash, no matter how little it is, and it is good to show gratitude. It is just how the scriptures describes it; He that is faithful in little, will be faithful in much. This appreciative attitude I developed as I grew up.

Believe me when I say, it has opened doors for me! People have blessed me, and I sincerely appreciated it. Some will say, leave it unto GOD, your reward is in heaven, it matters not if the person was thankful , you have done your part as a kind person. But, didn't Christ asked how many lepers came back to thank Him, after healing them? It is like the Yoruba adage that says, if you thank someone at night for  the little he or she did for you, she will do a bigger one in the morning.

Hence, I am forever grateful to my creator and confidante, Jehovah. Thank you to everyone who visits my blog. And to people who have been there for me , you are  appreciated from the depth of my being. This is my 4th thanksgiving celebration in the land of the brave and liberty.

 HAPPY THANKSGIVING AMERICA! YE-HAW!!!

p.s. Preparing my turkey tomorrow. It's gonna be a full house on Thursday! 
source
 

Thursday, November 19, 2015

GIVING

A friend from 9ja, gave us chocomilo, tomtom, black smoked fish(es) , groundnut and garri. ME-HN! I thanked her so much ehen! My kids took the chocomilo, my hubby the tomtom because of his cold, while I just finished using the black fish to cook correct ogbono soup that is ta-sun-sun (say it in baba suwe's voice} in the whole house. She brought the right gift for everybody. She is a seasoned traveler, so she knows whatsup!

Talking about giving, are all givings sensible? This is because, I have heard, someone call another a fool for helping! Are all givings appreciated? This is because I have seen a woman use clothes given to her baby for rags! Are all givings blessed by GOD? This is because, I have read where a banker stole from his place of work to give to the church! Experience has taught me that the best gifts that can never go wrong  amongst my Nigerian pipo is money and foodstuff! 

Yes o! Everybody likes money ke! Abi you don't? And everybody must eat! Again, our superstitious mind and  the confessions we have heard from the mouths of evil people, makes us wary of gifts! Hence, many gifts find their way into the garbage and some people don't give! I know of an extended family whose cousin put the money given to her, under a rock in the spiritual  realm instead of spending it on goodies like the other children, and the family suffered untold hardship until, after much prayers, she confessed. That is why  some people prefer paying money into one's account or give  a gift card, rather than cash in hand.

Nevertheless, giving is a beautiful and joyful thing because, the hand of the giver is always on top and GOD always blesses a sincere giving heart. Give as you are led by GOD and  which you can afford

*ta-sun-sun (sweet aroma/ smells so good) 

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

OVERSEA HUSBAND?

I just got off the phone with my close relative's friend who wanted my honest opinion on a marriage proposal for her youngest daughter from a family whose son lives abroad. He already has two kids from oyibo. They are indecisive because they have heard not-so-good-stories of abroad marriages. 'DO NOT ACCEPT THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL!' I replied loudly and firmly. I went ahead to give her so many reasons, and she was satisfied. I decided to share it here for some of you who might find themselves or their friends in such situation. 


Nigerians have this mentality that any of our men that married foreigners, they  not are not  actually married! In their minds, he did it to legalize his stay! They forget he got married to a woman like them who have feelings! And they think, the children from the marriage will not be recognized back home as his true African Children because, they are abroad and their mothers will not allow them to relocate to Nigeria! So the man has to have his own flesh and blood on his father's soil! That is why some women willingly become the Nigerian wife, waiting for his visit 2-3 times a year to get them pregnant and be sending money home frequently. If they like it that way, good for them! But I will not encourage someone I know to toll such path! Abegy, it is not life o jare! 


I told her, he might still be married to his wife, so he needs her daughter as his Nigerian wife to be birthing for him and warm his bed whenever he travels down. If he is divorced from his oyibo wife, he will be paying child's support for his two kids and alimony, to his wife, so he will be broke often, and expects his new wife to work her a$$ off if she relocates to join him, to be paying the bills! If he is financially ok, he might not want her to mingle with other people,  or drive or go shopping alone, so he can control her, making her a 'prisoner' in their home, which will be depressing! Or he will ask her to go back to school to read nursing or any medical field where the money is, so she can earn a lot later, footing most of the bills, this is to secure his future. In summary, she is just a means to an end, all for his gains! And what about physical attraction and love? What does she know about him per say? Have we not read about Nigerian men living abroad killing their wives? Because of infidelity, money and losing control over them? LET HIM FIND A NIGERIAN WIFE WHERE HE IS, IF HE IS DIVORCED O JARE! Personally, I don't like men with baggages,and long distance relationships! She is just 26 years old. Leave her to find a man of her choice in Nigeria.


You see, our men go back home to marry because they say, Nigerian women living abroad don 'tear eyes finish!' It is like when men from the city go to the village to marry wives because they claim city girls don 'spoil finish!' Only to get the shock of their lives later in years when their wives start to exhibit the same character like the city and oversea women they condemned! What an irony! They want to eat their cake and still have it! There are hardworking and beautiful Nigerian women here, wanting to settle down, but  some of our men, prefer to have affairs with them and go back home to marry because they want a woman from their tribe, and a young bride they can manipulate! 


Listen! Do NOT for once think, you are smarter than the Nigerian men seeking for wives back home! This is because they have had everything planned out before looking for you as a wife! Yes! You might relocate and get your papers, but at what price? Why go looking for an egg in the bush when you have 99 in your basket?

Wednesday, November 04, 2015

UNTL YOU GET CLOSER...

Many atimes, it is said that, first impression matters, but not always the true situation of things. Many atimes, we have judged people based on what we see and hear, until we get closer to them and found out they are not really what they are portrayed to be. Many atimes, we have misquoted people out of context because of the stereotyping we have done. But if we take a moment or minute to get closer to them, they might not be that bad as imagined. I am saying this because of a neighbour.

You see (there I go again!..ehehehe) the first month of school resumption, I waited with my daughter for the school bus, until I was assured she was ok. The second day of waiting with her, we saw a classmate of hers, she was walking briskly to and fro on the sidewalk and eventually, walked away. I wondered why she would leave the bus-stop on her street and go to the next? This she did for many weeks, refusing to join the children, but walked with a kind of aggressive-gait to the next street. 

One sunny day, as they alighted from the school bus, two girls accosted her and they were arguing. She turned her back to leave and one of the girls hit her from behind. Luckily, one of the mothers living close by, rushed out to stop them before it broke out into a big fight! Meanwhile, some boys were egging on the two girls to beat her while they were with their phones to record them and probably download it in you-tube! We later found out the two girls and several boys were from the street behind but because they have planned to beat up this girl, they got down on her street! Why? Because they say she was a bully of a sort! And I learnt other things about her which made me understood her better.

Her sister walks the same way! She followed her one morning to the bus-stop while I was pushing the buggy on the sidewalk and my daughter sat on the pavement listening to her music. The gait in their walks smelled trouble with a capital T! Picture how a creditor is walking with all determination to collect her money from her debtor, and ready to disgrace her if she don't pay! I jejely walked back to where my daughter sat down, watching to see what was about to go down. They stood behind my daughter who ignored them, with the sister putting her hands akimbo and tapping her foot, you know that kind of 'today-nah-today- stance'?

'Hello', I said, to break the ice. 'Are you twins?' Because they look so much alike, though, I knew they weren't. The elder sister is in high school which is 23 mins walk from our street, and I see her some days going and coming back from school. 'No!' Her elder sister replied and left few minutes later, leaving the sister to wait for the bus with other children. It was then I realized, she had wanted to always be with other children on our street, but due to her precedent and fall out with one of kids, she shied away from them! And the previous day, her brother came looking for her and we pointed where she was! Maybe when she got home in the afternoon, they asked her why? And she might have said, she felt uncomfortable or another response which would have made her elder sister to follow her down that morning! All she could have done was simply stay with us! Especially the day it was drizzling, she walked under the drizzle to the other side, while we took cover under a neighbour's garage. Three kids from the street behind us, walks to our own street everyday, to play with their friends, so I wondered why she felt uncomfortable waiting with them.

The next day, she waited with the children on our street. My daughter shared some candies she had on her to all of them. When they came down from the bus in the afternoon, she said to my daughter; 'I am sorry for being mean to you earlier on, can we be friends?' It was then I realized that all she needed was a show of love, which my daughter did by that her simple gesture of sharing candy! And yes! They are now friends, coming over to play with us, and my daughter doing same! Getting to know her now over a month, I found she is a nice kid, who simply built a wall of defense around her with that attitude and learnt early to be strong outside, but inside, she is just soft. She is now friends with all the kids waiting for the bus and her elder sister now say hello to my eldest daughter whenever they meet in the hallways or cafeteria in the school.They all play together in my home or theirs. 5 days ago when it rained heavily, I followed my daughter with an umbrella, and I saw her running to come and stay under the garage with other kids, all chattering away while the school bus pulled up. I felt happy that all the kids were now so friendly. They all come out to play sometimes on the sidewalks or in front of any house they prefer.

This applies to every facet of our lives. Sometimes, we judge people wrongly until we get closer. In my place of work, a co-worker was so quiet and aloof during my first week of arrival, while another was jovial and chatty. I liked the jovial one but judged the other as a snob and ignored her! Alas! 2 months working there now, I realized the 'snob' is really the nice one while the chatty one is a chameleon! It was her defense mechanism not to get involved in the department ish! Because she is hot-tempered and when angry, she can say unprintable things which she can be queried or sued for! Hence, she ignores everybody and face her job squarely! 

I have also been judged wrongly by people, until they get closer to me and say you are not as I thought or heard! Like it is always said, every action gets a reaction! And until you actually get close to someone, you won't know them! Social platforms is a virtual world!  So, don't believe or judge a person positively or negatively by what you read or hear. 

Thank you for reading my long post and enjoy your remaining week.
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