Friday, August 07, 2015


GOD be praised! We eventually moved into our new home on August 1st. The eighth month signifies a new beginning, a new year in RCCG calendar, and it is also my eldest daughter's birth month. LOOK! #pointing# I also changed my template and profile ... nay, I am not gonna change my blog name ... again, don't worry! ahaha.

 I sorted everything out yesterday, and went visiting my favourite entertainment blog to read all I missed, and I came across a request from a woman asking for help for her sister who wants to come to Texas, to birth her child, and I was like; Hey! I already have this topic in my draft! The idea came to me a day before we moved, because of a complaint I heard from a friend. A commenter, replied her, again ... the same opinion, I expressed in my post! Here was what I wrote on July 30th, which I titled, I HAVE TO SNITCH ON THIS!

my drafts

My dear fellow Nigerian women, please, if you are planning to come to USA, to have your baby, it is a very good idea and I will  advise anybody who can afford it, to do so. B-U-T, work out your logistics well, before boarding the plane! 

What are the logistics? Apart from the hospital and cost of delivery, your accommodation and feeding are also paramount! Listen! Don't just take for granted you have people here that will help you with that! HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR HOST? If you are directly related to your host, as a sibling, it is okay, but if you are a family friend, or a friend through a friend, or a distant relative, please, this post is specially for you!

Our Nigeria culture, expects us to welcome, accommodate and entertain guest, with the best we have in our homes, make them comfortable throughout their stay, and when they are leaving, give them a farewell gift, either cash or clothing or foodstuff. The guest is not expected to contribute a kobo . THIS IS NOT so in yankee! It is a different culture entirely! They don't believe in enabling people! As a guest, staying for a long time, you are expected to pull your own weight without being asked, by buying groceries and paying part of the utility bills. 

You see, since it is not our culture, some women don't know, and they expect their host to cater for them throughout the 3-5 months stay, while they use their own money for personal shopping. My fellow Nigerian women, your hosts are complaining! They are not happy with you and cannot wait to see you out of their apartment or house! Especially, when they made your stay very comfortable by vacating a room for you, driving you to your doctor's appointments, stay with you during delivery, help with the sleepless nights nursing your baby, take your baby for immunization, and yet, you cannot use your initiative to appreciate all their efforts in a little way? Rather, you be going on shopping spree? HABA!!!

'Why snitch on my fellow diaspora women?' Some, might be asking abi?  It is not because, I am amebo o, {me ke?! #throwaway face#} It is to help some of my fellow Nigerian women coming here to deliver, to prepare well financially, because, if you have to stay in a hotel or lease a bedroom apartment for short-term, you will know how much you will spend! And you need people around to help you with the baby, because, you have to rest.

Here are my suggestions, which I compiled through a friend who has traveled several times and delivered abroad, also from host's complains, and my own discretion;

1} When coming to stay with your host, please, don't come empty handed. Bring well-dried soup ingredients/foodstuff. It is 'gold' here. And DON'T overstay your welcome!

2}When you arrive, after the first 2 weeks, you will have understood the routine of your host by then, so when she goes grocery shopping, insist on paying, if she says no, put the cash in her hand or envelope when she likely expects it.

3}Whenever you go out for your personal shopping, buy groceries also, it does not need to be much or expensive; milk, egg, bread, sausage, cookies and ice cream. 

4}You can ask them to order pizza or take them out for burger once a month on your expense, or just give the children or host a treat.

5} Help with the cooking and cleaning in the home. PLEASE DO NOT INTERFERE IN THEIR CHILDREN'S UPBRINGING OR AFFAIRS, mingle, gist, joke, interact, but mind your business! DON'T behave like a stranger. It makes your host uncomfortable.

6} It is not that you should feed the house or turn to a maid O! It is just an act of appreciation. And, of course, you have to pay for your own laundry if they don't have washing machine at home. Sometimes, buy gas in the car.

7} If your husband comes to visit you after birth, he should get a good gift for the man of the house, because, he is playing his role of looking after you, in his absence.

It is not that your host is wicked or stingy or she is asking for too much, as some Nigerians will be very quick to say , it is just that your host will be making some sacrifices without you knowing! Time is money here! And any extra expenditure from your host's budgeted expenses, falls into credit! 

All the same, there is always an exception to every rule. Some hosts are also a pain in the a$$! Some have 'you-are-on-your-own-attitude' and won't bother to stock the home with food or stylishly ask for money, or even borrow from guest without paying back! Or shift the home expenses on the guest!

 Please, don't get angry if your request to be hosted by a friend or relative is turned down, because, some people are barely at home because of the nature of their job or they don't have the financial power to host yet or they don't have spare room to lodge you in! Abi, you will sleep in the parlour with a baby? 

The BOTTOM-LINE  is; Be financially well prepared!

Thank you for reading and have a wonderful weekend.