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Wednesday, July 29, 2015

FACE BOOK LIKES

Phew! Decided to take a breather and rest my limbs today. Few days time, all utilities will be disconnected! I went on blog run and face book visiting, which reminded me that, I am yet to talk about my ish with fb likes; I came across a R.I.P message, and some people were liking it! I was, like, hey, wait a moment! You are not suppose to like sad news! Rather, you COMMENT! But I saw several likes and ONLY ONE COMMENT! 

It surely confuses, amazes and puzzles me why people like anything! I know it is to show support, but not for 'grievous news!' IMO!  Celebrations, inspirational quotes, pictures and jokes, YES, LIKE THEM ALL! But on the other hand, some people want to use the sad news to gather likes, by saying it in an 'aww-ing' way. Why will some people like pictures of accident scenes and victims huh?

I was a passive participant in face book when I opened it in 2010, until, I became active in 2014. Later, the excitement began to worn off,  because, I got bored with the cliche quotes and pictures. I only became excited during discussion. Talking of boredom, I want to change my blog template, getting tired of it! Also, looking for the right profile picture.

Some are silent watchers who only come out of their 'shell' during birthday celebrations.That is to show solidarity. Hence, I thought that was the norm, when I became active.  So, when I got about 10 likes when celebrating, I wondered, who were the 160 friends I have? That was when, I took a good look at ALL my friends, and realized I didn't know many of them at all! I edited it to 40 people! With time, it might get lesser! 

There are many reasons why people add someone as a friend. Some do, because they genuinely like you. Some, because, they want to know what you are up to. Some, because, you are a sibling to their friend or spouse. Some, because, they just want to increase their number of friends. Some, because they are related. In 2010, I simply accepted friendship requests, without knowing the person, because, I thought, they knew me either through my siblings or spouse or school. But in 2014 till date, I simply accept because I know you. I have sent friend requests to few also, when I am very sure I want them in my inner circle.

 I have been unfriended by a cousin because I made the error, of trying to help her correct the 'mistake' face book made about her birth-date. I have also unfriended a few because, I observed that they were simply 'monitoring spirits' who were always in the shadow! Face book has it's own 'politics' as blogsville does. And, we all know that when it comes to politics, there is no permanent foe or friend, just self interest! 

OK! guys! That is my ish with Fb likes! Enjoy the remaining week days ahead, I will update, in 2 weeks time, hopefully, when I have settled in and found my rhythm again. Thank you for reading.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

THEM SAY, THEM SAY ...

I went to pick my package from the office which was dropped by the mail man when nobody was at home. I saw a couple who came to search for an apartment. As, I walked away with my package, they called out to me, and asked about the apartments. I gave them good report. They were surprised because, the review on the website gave only 2 stars and there were complaints about the walls being too thin. I told them, I was not aware of that, I like the apartments and the management. Unlike from my former place of abode, the manager was cold!

You see, 'them say, them say' ... many atimes are wrong! Few times they are right! When we wanted to relocate, we had two options, New Jersey or Texas. The comments on Texas, discouraged us; 'Oh! There are too many Nigerians there! Oh! It is too hot over there! Oh! Racism is not subtle there!' So, we chose New Jersey, since it was close to New York. Eventually, we had to move to Texas! And, I tell you people, 4 Nigerian families have moved down to Texas because of our review! 


Does that mean, the people were not truthful? They were! They simply based their opinion on their experience! This is why, I always say, what works for Mr A, might not work for Mr B! This applies to all phases of life! Be it friendship, career, academic, marriage, and family. Not one size fits all!!! So, when you hear, 'them say this, them say that', still have an open mind. PLEASE, it does not mean that when you are told 'fire' is dangerous, you still doubt and go and put your hand inside to see if it is true!

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

STILL LEARNING MY LESSONS...

Yesterday, my baby dropped my phone on the floor and it went black! This was not the first, second, third, fourth, fifth ... time, because he sees it as his musical toy, but it seems the phone has reached it's limit of endurance! So, I went searching for my old phone I bought in 2012, when I newly arrived. It is an unlocked phone that had just 2 main functions, call and text! Then, I was teased so much , ehen! I wasn't bothered, because, we were being prudent o jare!

 I removed my old sim, opened the back of my damaged phone to remove it's sim ... nothing! That moment, I was like the man who had a Volkswagen car and didn't know that it's engine was at the back side and was asking passer-bys if they saw his engine on the road, because it was not in front of his car! Then! It hit me! Google is your friend! I searched for; how to retrieve sim card from nexus 5 android phone, and there it was! The key was staring at me all along in the package, and I didn't even know what it was for! Glad, I have not thrown the box away during my de-cluttering frenzy! I inserted the key, removed the sim card jejely, and put it into my old phone, and I am back on the communication grid! SHIKENAH! 

I learnt few lessons from this;

1}Never look-down or common-nize or under-estimate anything or anybody because of their appearances or status or income, because, that thing or person might be your helper  or come in need in your most trying moment or hour. I believe, most of you might have heard of the story of how a messenger helped a graduate to get a job in a blue chip company abi?  

2} Never be ashamed to ask questions when you don't know something. Listen! It is better to be laughed at, rather than to make more mistakes that can be costly! NOBODY knows it all! There is a common saying in Lagos; 'If you ask for directions, you will not get lost!' 

3}Patience, loyalty and contentment are virtues that one must learn to cultivate. I once watched a movie where a boss told his staff that, he does not want them to like him, but to be loyal to him! Because, a loyal staff will never betray him! Contentment makes one to live within their means, and saves one from a lot of debt! Patience, allows one to think out clearly, before embarking on a decision. Many atimes, the solution to a problem, is staring at us, but we don't know because, we are not patient enough, to look around. In our haste to get it done, we pass, step on it or destroy the solution!

So my friends, what lesson did you also learn? 

Tuesday, July 07, 2015

FAMILY DRAMA!

Dearest siblings,
                       I know you love your brother and sister very much, but I want you to know that, immediately they get married, you don't come first in their lives anymore, so STOP seeing your in-laws as competitors, struggling for relevance, with them!

                     Siblings of brothers, you are the worst culprit in this family drama! Always talking about 'my brother's house.' For your information, IT IS NOT YOUR BROTHER'S HOUSE!!!!! It is their matrimonial home! GET THAT INTO YOUR HEADS! The only place you can call your own is, YOUR FATHER'S HOUSE!!!! 

                       Yes o! You see, you cannot f*** your brother! Unless, you want to commit incest! And, yes! He cannot have another family, as he can have another wife, which you all say, but he still CANNOT MARRY YOU! For your information, every wife comes with her own bag of tricks! So, for your self-centeredness, you don't mind your brother having a string of wives and children? You don't mind making his spouse unhappy in her own home? While your own family will be intact, when you get married and pamper your own spouse abi? I see!!! You say, 'my parents suffered to train him!' Wow! I have a breaking news for you all, THE WIFE'S PARENTS ALSO SUFFERED TO TRAIN HER! Abi, no be woman born am also? 

               I know your type! Because of what you stand to gain from your brother, you are always happy to see them in discord, infact, you can be the cause of the discord sef! You go about town, bad-mouthing your brother's spouse, but when you get married, you will hype your spouse! LIKE SERIOUSLY??? But you forget other people knows you and will spill! A young man once did that to his brother's wife, set her up and she was driven away from her matrimonial home with her son. Years later, one of the conspirators confessed when he found Christ. Which made the stupid young man to confess, because his brother was not giving him much money as before, and blamed his wife! When he wanted to get married, his brother sworn, never! The family went on their knees begging the wife to come back! 

         Listen, dear siblings, I am not saying, you will be cut off, but, RESPECT BOUNDARIES!!! It is not right for a man to neglect his own spouse and children's needs to satisfy you! Because, you won't have been happy if your father did that to you and your mother, right? You see, it is a circle! Your parents was once like your brother with his wife, and they started a family, which is you and your siblings! Your siblings leave the nest to start their own family! Just, as you will someday!
                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                      Nitty.

                 

                       

Friday, July 03, 2015

A SEDENTARY LIFESTYLE

'Please don't cry' I told him as he stood in front of my apartment door. 'You can come back,ok?' he nodded, left and came an hour later. I had to take him to the room to see for himself, and he grinned. 'You can wait for him and watch a movie, if you like', he accepted eagerly. My son woke up, and they are both in the parlour this moment as I am typing playing games. 

source

He is my eldest son's school mate, who lives a block away. Sometimes they play together, like yesterday afternoon. So around past noon today, he came knocking, that he wanted to play with my son, his other friend who promised to come to the playground didn't show up. I told him my son was sleeping. His eyes became misty and voice teary, 'I have nobody to play with me' he said. I  petted him.

When he came back, I took him to the room to see for himself that he was sleeping, I even tried to rouse my son from sleep, WHOSAI! That was when my eldest daughter told me he slept by 6:00am! It is summer, I don't restrict their bed-time. I slept around 2:00am myself, my 2nd daughter brought my baby to lie beside me by 4:00am, hubby woke up then, and started gisting with me, I was replying with sleepy voice, he went to the parlour, when I was not responsive, so I didn't know when they all slept. I woke up around 8:00am and everybody was still sleeping, had my bath, and relaxed on the settee, until hubby and baby woke up, prepared breakfast, then he knocked around 12:43pm, came back around 1:57pm, my son woke up around 2:33pm, now it 3:48pm, and they are playing games! My neighbour opposite sometimes holds barbecue party on weekends from 11pm till 5:00am! My upstairs neighbour sometimes plays this soulful music around 12midnigh-2:00am! Welcome to summer!

You see, lifestyle here can be sedentary. This much, my doctor said when I took one of my kids for routine check up yesterday. She advised me to keep them very active by allowing them to go outside to play, running, cycling and walking, watch what they eat, because summer makes many to add weight, and some children becomes obese!  The sun is blazing hot, that kids come out to play around 6pm till 9pm, sometimes at 11pm, I hear kids voices outside. The pool in my residential complex was closed this summer because of a terrible incident that happened in a neighbourhood pool, so to avoid similar catastrophe, they closed it.

The routine here is to drive to anywhere you are going. You will hardly see people walking on the streets in the city I live. Only one or two persons at the bus/stop sometimes. The fear of litigation makes people to strictly mind their business. Infact, it is a big risk, I am taking letting him in. GOD help me! Fear no let me give am food o! Because, I don't know if he has allergies. I gave him bottled water yesterday, instead from the water dispenser, because I no want wahala! Everybody is security conscious .... he just left at 4:19pm ... so as I was saying, people are being cautious, hence, the sedentary life.  Some go clubbing, vacationing, window shopping at the malls, parks, six flags, concerts, picnics, pool parties and barbecues ... but not as often as we want, because it cost time and money, and believe me when I say that some can't afford both. So, our gadgets keeps us company. Right now, I am watching an old TV show; Ally Mcbeal while updating, and all my kids are running, playing, shouting. The apartment is in disarray! I no fit shout abeg!

Tomorrow is July 4th, America Independence day! YE-HAW!!! Happy independence day! There will be sales tomorrow! Going shopping! Have a lovely weekend you all.






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