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Saturday, June 06, 2015

THE 41 DAYS CULTURE

I went visiting the newest mother in blogsville, to check on her as our Nigeria culture expects. I was surprised not to find her at home. Where did Iyawo and omomo went to ehen? I wondered, because it was not yet 41 days ke! Only for her to say she went out with bobo and chief. 'Okk! You went for immunization ba?'  'Noo! We went to an enjoyable event', she replied. SHIOR! I exclaimed! But it is not up to 41 days as your Yoruba culture stipulates. She simply looked at me with that her beautiful big eyes and charming smile on her face, and I said, 'it matters not o jare, as you both had fun!' Oh by the way, I was talking about my beautiful Sisi Yemmie ... and the conversation was solely in my  head o! Hmmm, to think that I  have known Yemmie from when she was schooling abroad, then back to Nigeria, got a job, married and now a mother! #Famzing is allowed o jare# 


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OKAY! The purpose of this post, is for us to talk about our culture! The Nigerian culture! Our beliefs! You see, it is about time we should be asking our elders why and when such culture was enacted ... is that the right word to use? Hmmm, I don't know, but you guys get my drift sha? I mean, who and what was the reason behind certain culture? I know culture helps to instill certain order and decency in the community, because without it, many things would have gone haywire. But are they still applicable in this millennium age? Remember, I talked about demystifying some myths here?  



We love eating coconut as children. But my mum will never allow us drink the sweet water, because she grew up with the teachings that the water will not make a child intelligent. One day, my younger brother, said that, it was the only way the elders could prevent children from sharing the sweet water with them! So, we would drink the water, and tell my mum, we threw it away or it spilled on the floor! My younger brother is the most intelligent in our household o jare! Some cultural practices were put in place due to some happenings then, that did not have logical explanation, but with civilization and technology, some are baseless!



I am Esan, some cultural practices need to be stopped! For instances; When a woman cheats, her children dies! Initially, it was both the husband and children, but, the men were spared, only children suffers the aftermath of a cheating mother! A husband can cheat, nada will happen to his children! If an Esan woman marries a non-Esan man,the culture does not affect her, but  if a non-Esan woman marries an Esan man, it will affect her! Not confusing I hope? I learnt in the Yoruba culture that when a wife cheats, her children will not prosper! I asked, 'What if the man cheats? I was given the polygamous answer. These particular cultures, were instilled to control women! I believe men came up with these for fear of training children that won't be theirs! And they were afraid to be beaten at their own game of infidelity.

 OBITO, as it is popularly called in my state, is another cultural practice, I don't like. There will be 7 days celebration of an individual passing to the next realm! 7 days of cooking galore with killing of cows and goats. If a female, she will be taken to her father's compound to sleep there, because they believe in re-incarnation. Then she will be celebrated in her place of birth, marriage and  rest. After few years, the final celebration and rites will be performed! (Did you guys remember the drama that happened with our late first lady, Mrs Stella Obansanjo? ) These celebrations cost money! I am happy that the days have been reduced to 3, and no more returning back to perform the  final rites. Everything is done in those 3 days! Even with that, elders still send message to their sons and daughters to have a land with a house on it to use for their final resting place, because nobody will give them space on their property! A family friend's father, had no personal land. The children, bought a parcel of land, laid foundation on it before they were allowed to celebrate their father. You see, this is why, I like the Northerners culture regarding this issue; they believe, where ever you fall asleep, that is where you will rest finally, well wrapped up, with prayers to guide you on the next journey.  


I don't want to make this post so long, because there are more cultural practices I detest, like in the Yoruba culture, where every child born before a wife is married into the family is older than her ! Regardless the age! And you dare not call such a person by his or her name or send an errand! So, tell me what cultural practices you don't like?

Have a lovely weekend.