Friday, April 17, 2015


I don't know if you ladies remember your mothers quarreling with you, when you refuse to do chores or cook, and telling you something like this; ' Nah you sabi o! If you like don't learn how to do all these things, nobody go help you when you get to your husband's house! I won't be there!' Well women that grew up from the 70's-90's might remember, if the youngies don't. This is because, ladies back then, were trained and prepared for wifely roles in future. 

Well, I ain't bring up my daughters that way!  NO! MA'AM! I simply tell them to know how to do things so they can take care of themselves when they get to college. I intentionally refused to drum that husband's ideology into their heads! I am not so strict on the cooking and chores, I simply let them do the basic cleaning, and prepare passable meals that can fill their stomachs! They know Flo's food blog, if they want something different. I am not gonna train them to stress themselves out doing chores and cooking! I am gonna teach them to think of their comfort first, then other things will follow! There are African shops that sell different soups at $10, get 3-5 different types and put in the freezer, or pay a  caterer, $100-$150 to cook assorted stews and soups for you that can last a while! Even thanksgiving meals cost about $200. The young men brought up here, can take care of themselves! I am also teaching my sons to clean and cook for themselves and not be waiting for somebody else daughters to take care of them!

HA! Does this means I am now a feminist? HELL-NO! I still believe that the man is the head of the family while the woman is the neck. And, the man has the larger responsibility of taking care of his family than the woman, unless situation dictates otherwise. I am training them this way because I am a SAHM, so I pray they NEVER, NE-VERRR, experience the insults I have received. We now live in a society that encourages independence and  individuality; Remember, I said that it was my maiden name that was put on my son's birth certificate? It is now I understand why woman still stick to their maiden names after wedding, it is mostly for logistic reasons. Also, money is the koko in every society! Remember the saying; When the pocket is full, the mouth is confident!

'If you were living in Nigeria, would you have this same mind-set?' A voice is asking me. YES! I will! Simply because the way women thought during the previous generation and my present generation differs! So it is expected the next generation of women will improve! The only constant thing is change itself! Nigerian women are now finding ways to reduce the stress of cooking and chores. They either have the latest gadgets, if electricity is available for them to use it or hire a washing and cleaning lady on weekends. As for cooking, caterers  have now upped their game, they prepare different soups to be delivered to homes. So on weekends, hire them, weekdays, prepare simple soups like Okro, ewedu, vegetable and use canned banga extract than starting from scratch. Market women have also upped their skills; They have sliced vegetable, grated okro, blended ingredients....etc. Simply get them and throw into the pot! It is not the time to be cooking elaborate meals! Leave that for weekends! In addition, they will learn a skill either in tailoring or hair dressing or pastry making, in case of no job, they will have something to fall on.

So, am I now a feminist? AHAHAHAHA.
Thanks for reading.
Have a happy weekend.