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Friday, December 25, 2015

HO! HO! HO! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Merry Christmas to everyone!
And wishing you all a happy new year in advance!






I took these pictures as I drove down my street.

 Not cooking this Christmas again, my sister-in-law is hosting us in their new home and we would later attend a Christmas party. 
Thank you guys for always visiting, have an enjoyable holiday. YE-HAA!

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

CHRISTMAS TREES

My mum bought the first plastic Christmas tree  I saw, when I was 9 years old. It was placed  on the floor by the corner of the T.v and stored away after the celebration to be used again and again, with branches missing now and then, until it remained a skeletal frame and it was disposed off when I was 13. Did I miss it? NAY! I didn't attach any sentiment to, I felt indifferent, because it was oyibo culture to have it in their homes, my child's mind told me.


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So, here I am, in the white man's land, and you will think  I will behave like the 'Romans since I am in Rome ba? NAY! I saw different sizes of fir trees for prices ranging from $30-$250. The plastic ones within the same range but comes with colourful lights, and can be used again and again, unlike the fir trees that will be discarded later. There are colourful  potted  plastic Christmas trees for porches it is about $20. I was thinking of getting it, but used a Christmas wreath instead on my door, and put  lights around the little shrub behind my window.

I began to wonder how did this Christmas tree tradition came about, because it does not have anything to do with the birth of Christ, apart from the star they put on top which symbolizes the star of David, or the star the wise men saw or the birth of a new star. As usual, goggle my friend, educated me. In summary, it originated from Germany, where a lumberjack who cut down trees for a living went with his young son to sell his goods. The boy noticed that, the small tree at the bottom of the big tree was not used, and he told his father to bring it home for him, because he liked the fresh smell of the fir tree, his mother decided to put some colours  on it to make it beautiful, and it happened to be during the winter . So, NO! It did not originate from paganism as certain Christian society wants us to believe.

Later in years, a huge market was found in it! It is no news that all celebrations have been commercialized but some have come to believe so much in these beautification objects that they forget the essence of December 25th, which is a day SET ASIDE { see my emphasis} to celebrate the birth of our saviour. But I agree with all the commercials that Christmas is all about loving and sharing, because Christ Himself is Love. Is it too early to wish you guys a merry Christmas?

P.s;Santa claus nko? Some believe in him rather than Christ sef!
P.s.s; So how are you guys preparing for Christmas?
P.s.s.s; Christmas card is not my fort either! Take the money buy biscuit or sweet for me and use your hand write merry Christmas for the wrapper. #shines teeth#

Friday, December 04, 2015

HOUSEWIVES VS CAREER WIVES.

I never planned to write another post until nextweek, but I have observed that I lose the train of thoughts when I want to update or when I save it in my draft, it does not come out as I expected or 'fresh' as I wanted or I  will read a similar topic in another blog, and I  will have no choice  than to delete it. If you have observed, I write as I speak, as if I am talking with you, that is my style of writing which I enjoy, but if I draft it down, it becomes like an article after so much editing, hence, I like to go with the flow.
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It is about SAHM o! Infact, this post is long overdue sef! I will like to title it; Non-working mothers vs working mothers, but that will be too 'soft'. Lemme, leave it the way it is o jare!  Will I ever get tired of talking about this issue? NAY! Why? Because, I am still one, regardless of my  part-time job. Hmm, I no go let una hear word again because I don get one shekele job like that ba? Make unah no vex. That is where I get my tori from nowadays. Afterall, nah where pesin dey work, nah from there he go chop ke! 


A co-worker asked me if I have another job with the present one I am doing. I said, 'No. Another co-worker who was a Nigerian, said, I should not say so, I have another job. 'Which job?' I asked him oo. Abi I get a twin that I don't know of? 'Taking care of your children is a job!' I was amazed at his reply. 'Well, thank you sir! Some if not many don't know that!' 'It is those that have not sat down at home to look after children 24/7 that will say that!' He replied. Let me give you a little background info about my co-worker. He is married to AA for 15 years, has 3 kids, so, his orientation has changed from the typical  average 9ja mentality. This led us to talk more about childcare and family as we worked.


SAHM's have been castigated for too long by the society and virtual world in Nigeria. {I don't know about other countries o} The sacrifices made by us are not appreciated, hence, many SAHM, shy away from identifying with the cliche.  Infact, some people  believe they have nothing tangible to contribute to a discussion or worth listening to because, they have no value, since people's worth are measured by their income! (The bedrock of this present society is materialism.) During arguments, it is 'GO AND GET A JOB FIRST!  OR YOU THAT IS A HOUSEWIFE! Or They give more Kudos  to working mothers. Do you know what it is like to stay with kids 24/7? #experience is the best teacher.# If you are hot-tempered, you will mellow down by force by fire!


Many say, it is because of the unexpected.  GOD forbids! {AMIN O!} But I ask, is it only one-sided? Can't the woman lose her own job also? We are all living and striving by HIS grace and not by our own power. I know the cost of living is soaring high, but prudence is the key word! Stop trying hard to be like the Jones! There is time for everything! No woman remains a housewife forever! {What stays forever on this earth before sef?} When the kids get older, we either get back into the workforce or start a small business. My kids can take care of themselves now and help with my youngest, so I can venture out.


My 2 cents on this controversial issue is that, IF you have a good job before marriage, do not resign. Prepare to invest in a good daycare  center or if you are lucky to have your parents or in-laws close by, build a good family support system. If your job is nothing to write home about or unemployed before marriage, start to think of what you can do from home to give little pocket money. My relative is selling ice-cream from her home. I sold recharge cards and ice-blocks. I rented novels and sold cds{not condoms o, before unah naughty mind go think otherwise,ahahha} I even made zobo drinks in empty ragolis bottle water. I was learning how to sew bed sheets before I relocated. All the monies I got from there no fit pay monthly nepa bill sef, talkless of house rent! But it kept me busy for a while and I had little change to spend on my own. I managed a shop for a close relative for a short period of time  and was given an allowance {not salary o} of #20k a month, before I moved to the land of the brave and liberty. 


So my dear readers, I have been on both sides and I tell you that, I don't regret one bit staying at home with my kids. It has it's pros and cons, highs and lows,  but it is worth all the endurance and insults. I might not have all the trappings of a materialistic lifestyle,  but I am content and thankful to GOD, who is my provider and protector. 

Thank y'all  for taking the time out to read my long post. Have an enjoyable weekend.

Tuesday, December 01, 2015

MIS-COMMUNICATION.

Na wa! So December don reach nah-nah? Hmm, happy new month o!  Christmas is around the bend. I see beautiful Christmas decorations in my neighbourhood which comes alight at night, but fear no let me snap and put in my blog o, because I don't know if it is legal or  get sued! E no dey hard them at all to file complaint! If not, I will have delighted your eyes with aww-pictures. That reminds  of a Judge Judy episode, where she called a plaintiff an idiot for suing her friend whose daughter drove her car and died on the spot when the car flipped over. Yes! Some people just dey kolo, I swear!

Now! To the topic at hand! I want to talk about mis-communication. I found myself in the middle of a brouhaha that was going on in my department o! Being the new kid on the 'block, 'everybody wanted to play 'boss' with me! No problemo! I simply did my best until yesterday, when I eventually met my manager on one-to-one and bared my mind to him. He apologized for all the ish that was going on and told me who I should solely obey, and I can call him on his personal number if I have a complain. I felt happy. You see, due to lack of communication between my manager and I, a particular employee was using it to her advantage, saying the 'manager left  so and so instruction down! I work only at nights, while the manger comes in after I have left but yesterday was the end of the month, he has to prepare his report, so he worked at night.

Mis-communication has caused rift in families, between friends, and even amongst bloggers! If only important info is passed out, questions  asked and discussion made, so much grudges and anger will be averted! Gaps makes us use assumptions as fillings. Communication does not mean doing amebo  or gossiping o! The key word is 'important info', to enable people to analyze, work with and have a direction or closure. 

Happy new month to y'all!



Tuesday, November 24, 2015

I AM THANKFUL.

Watching as a woman profusely thanked someone for given her some money, regardless that she has more than that, made me curious to ask her why so much gratitude? She explained to me that, it is not easy for people to part away with their hard-earned cash, no matter how little it is, and it is good to show gratitude. It is just how the scriptures describes it; He that is faithful in little, will be faithful in much. This appreciative attitude I developed as I grew up.

Believe me when I say, it has opened doors for me! People have blessed me, and I sincerely appreciated it. Some will say, leave it unto GOD, your reward is in heaven, it matters not if the person was thankful , you have done your part as a kind person. But, didn't Christ asked how many lepers came back to thank Him, after healing them? It is like the Yoruba adage that says, if you thank someone at night for  the little he or she did for you, she will do a bigger one in the morning.

Hence, I am forever grateful to my creator and confidante, Jehovah. Thank you to everyone who visits my blog. And to people who have been there for me , you are  appreciated from the depth of my being. This is my 4th thanksgiving celebration in the land of the brave and liberty.

 HAPPY THANKSGIVING AMERICA! YE-HAW!!!

p.s. Preparing my turkey tomorrow. It's gonna be a full house on Thursday! 
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Thursday, November 19, 2015

GIVING

A friend from 9ja, gave us chocomilo, tomtom, black smoked fish(es) , groundnut and garri. ME-HN! I thanked her so much ehen! My kids took the chocomilo, my hubby the tomtom because of his cold, while I just finished using the black fish to cook correct ogbono soup that is ta-sun-sun (say it in baba suwe's voice} in the whole house. She brought the right gift for everybody. She is a seasoned traveler, so she knows whatsup!

Talking about giving, are all givings sensible? This is because, I have heard, someone call another a fool for helping! Are all givings appreciated? This is because I have seen a woman use clothes given to her baby for rags! Are all givings blessed by GOD? This is because, I have read where a banker stole from his place of work to give to the church! Experience has taught me that the best gifts that can never go wrong  amongst my Nigerian pipo is money and foodstuff! 

Yes o! Everybody likes money ke! Abi you don't? And everybody must eat! Again, our superstitious mind and  the confessions we have heard from the mouths of evil people, makes us wary of gifts! Hence, many gifts find their way into the garbage and some people don't give! I know of an extended family whose cousin put the money given to her, under a rock in the spiritual  realm instead of spending it on goodies like the other children, and the family suffered untold hardship until, after much prayers, she confessed. That is why  some people prefer paying money into one's account or give  a gift card, rather than cash in hand.

Nevertheless, giving is a beautiful and joyful thing because, the hand of the giver is always on top and GOD always blesses a sincere giving heart. Give as you are led by GOD and  which you can afford

*ta-sun-sun (sweet aroma/ smells so good) 

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

OVERSEA HUSBAND?

I just got off the phone with my close relative's friend who wanted my honest opinion on a marriage proposal for her youngest daughter from a family whose son lives abroad. He already has two kids from oyibo. They are indecisive because they have heard not-so-good-stories of abroad marriages. 'DO NOT ACCEPT THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL!' I replied loudly and firmly. I went ahead to give her so many reasons, and she was satisfied. I decided to share it here for some of you who might find themselves or their friends in such situation. 


Nigerians have this mentality that any of our men that married foreigners, they  not are not  actually married! In their minds, he did it to legalize his stay! They forget he got married to a woman like them who have feelings! And they think, the children from the marriage will not be recognized back home as his true African Children because, they are abroad and their mothers will not allow them to relocate to Nigeria! So the man has to have his own flesh and blood on his father's soil! That is why some women willingly become the Nigerian wife, waiting for his visit 2-3 times a year to get them pregnant and be sending money home frequently. If they like it that way, good for them! But I will not encourage someone I know to toll such path! Abegy, it is not life o jare! 


I told her, he might still be married to his wife, so he needs her daughter as his Nigerian wife to be birthing for him and warm his bed whenever he travels down. If he is divorced from his oyibo wife, he will be paying child's support for his two kids and alimony, to his wife, so he will be broke often, and expects his new wife to work her a$$ off if she relocates to join him, to be paying the bills! If he is financially ok, he might not want her to mingle with other people,  or drive or go shopping alone, so he can control her, making her a 'prisoner' in their home, which will be depressing! Or he will ask her to go back to school to read nursing or any medical field where the money is, so she can earn a lot later, footing most of the bills, this is to secure his future. In summary, she is just a means to an end, all for his gains! And what about physical attraction and love? What does she know about him per say? Have we not read about Nigerian men living abroad killing their wives? Because of infidelity, money and losing control over them? LET HIM FIND A NIGERIAN WIFE WHERE HE IS, IF HE IS DIVORCED O JARE! Personally, I don't like men with baggages,and long distance relationships! She is just 26 years old. Leave her to find a man of her choice in Nigeria.


You see, our men go back home to marry because they say, Nigerian women living abroad don 'tear eyes finish!' It is like when men from the city go to the village to marry wives because they claim city girls don 'spoil finish!' Only to get the shock of their lives later in years when their wives start to exhibit the same character like the city and oversea women they condemned! What an irony! They want to eat their cake and still have it! There are hardworking and beautiful Nigerian women here, wanting to settle down, but  some of our men, prefer to have affairs with them and go back home to marry because they want a woman from their tribe, and a young bride they can manipulate! 


Listen! Do NOT for once think, you are smarter than the Nigerian men seeking for wives back home! This is because they have had everything planned out before looking for you as a wife! Yes! You might relocate and get your papers, but at what price? Why go looking for an egg in the bush when you have 99 in your basket?

Wednesday, November 04, 2015

UNTL YOU GET CLOSER...

Many atimes, it is said that, first impression matters, but not always the true situation of things. Many atimes, we have judged people based on what we see and hear, until we get closer to them and found out they are not really what they are portrayed to be. Many atimes, we have misquoted people out of context because of the stereotyping we have done. But if we take a moment or minute to get closer to them, they might not be that bad as imagined. I am saying this because of a neighbour.

You see (there I go again!..ehehehe) the first month of school resumption, I waited with my daughter for the school bus, until I was assured she was ok. The second day of waiting with her, we saw a classmate of hers, she was walking briskly to and fro on the sidewalk and eventually, walked away. I wondered why she would leave the bus-stop on her street and go to the next? This she did for many weeks, refusing to join the children, but walked with a kind of aggressive-gait to the next street. 

One sunny day, as they alighted from the school bus, two girls accosted her and they were arguing. She turned her back to leave and one of the girls hit her from behind. Luckily, one of the mothers living close by, rushed out to stop them before it broke out into a big fight! Meanwhile, some boys were egging on the two girls to beat her while they were with their phones to record them and probably download it in you-tube! We later found out the two girls and several boys were from the street behind but because they have planned to beat up this girl, they got down on her street! Why? Because they say she was a bully of a sort! And I learnt other things about her which made me understood her better.

Her sister walks the same way! She followed her one morning to the bus-stop while I was pushing the buggy on the sidewalk and my daughter sat on the pavement listening to her music. The gait in their walks smelled trouble with a capital T! Picture how a creditor is walking with all determination to collect her money from her debtor, and ready to disgrace her if she don't pay! I jejely walked back to where my daughter sat down, watching to see what was about to go down. They stood behind my daughter who ignored them, with the sister putting her hands akimbo and tapping her foot, you know that kind of 'today-nah-today- stance'?

'Hello', I said, to break the ice. 'Are you twins?' Because they look so much alike, though, I knew they weren't. The elder sister is in high school which is 23 mins walk from our street, and I see her some days going and coming back from school. 'No!' Her elder sister replied and left few minutes later, leaving the sister to wait for the bus with other children. It was then I realized, she had wanted to always be with other children on our street, but due to her precedent and fall out with one of kids, she shied away from them! And the previous day, her brother came looking for her and we pointed where she was! Maybe when she got home in the afternoon, they asked her why? And she might have said, she felt uncomfortable or another response which would have made her elder sister to follow her down that morning! All she could have done was simply stay with us! Especially the day it was drizzling, she walked under the drizzle to the other side, while we took cover under a neighbour's garage. Three kids from the street behind us, walks to our own street everyday, to play with their friends, so I wondered why she felt uncomfortable waiting with them.

The next day, she waited with the children on our street. My daughter shared some candies she had on her to all of them. When they came down from the bus in the afternoon, she said to my daughter; 'I am sorry for being mean to you earlier on, can we be friends?' It was then I realized that all she needed was a show of love, which my daughter did by that her simple gesture of sharing candy! And yes! They are now friends, coming over to play with us, and my daughter doing same! Getting to know her now over a month, I found she is a nice kid, who simply built a wall of defense around her with that attitude and learnt early to be strong outside, but inside, she is just soft. She is now friends with all the kids waiting for the bus and her elder sister now say hello to my eldest daughter whenever they meet in the hallways or cafeteria in the school.They all play together in my home or theirs. 5 days ago when it rained heavily, I followed my daughter with an umbrella, and I saw her running to come and stay under the garage with other kids, all chattering away while the school bus pulled up. I felt happy that all the kids were now so friendly. They all come out to play sometimes on the sidewalks or in front of any house they prefer.

This applies to every facet of our lives. Sometimes, we judge people wrongly until we get closer. In my place of work, a co-worker was so quiet and aloof during my first week of arrival, while another was jovial and chatty. I liked the jovial one but judged the other as a snob and ignored her! Alas! 2 months working there now, I realized the 'snob' is really the nice one while the chatty one is a chameleon! It was her defense mechanism not to get involved in the department ish! Because she is hot-tempered and when angry, she can say unprintable things which she can be queried or sued for! Hence, she ignores everybody and face her job squarely! 

I have also been judged wrongly by people, until they get closer to me and say you are not as I thought or heard! Like it is always said, every action gets a reaction! And until you actually get close to someone, you won't know them! Social platforms is a virtual world!  So, don't believe or judge a person positively or negatively by what you read or hear. 

Thank you for reading my long post and enjoy your remaining week.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

NOT MY FIGHT!

Hey! Have you ever found yourself in a situation that you will be left with the towel hanging? .... NO? Well I have! Several times! My fierce loyalty to friends, always left me being the enemy!

I experienced it in school, in my neighbourhood and in blogsville. I won't bore you all with the details, I simply messed up big time! Hence, I withdrew into my shell. It is not you, but me. Cheesy cliche right? I don't know how to hide my heart since it is always on my sleeve, but I can roll up my sleeve to cover it up a bit chei? The same passion I used to like, it is the same I used to dislike, which is a trait I have been trying to suppress. So to help myself now, I rather don't want to know whatever ish is going on! This much I told two of my co-workers few days ago! There was a power -game being played out in the department, and one was trying to lure me to her side, I told both of  them, o-ha, that I was not interested to dance to any form of music being played! I should simply be left alone! Abegy! I did not come there to make friends or foes, but to earn my $$$!

I will conclude this post with the proverb an elderly man once told me during one of my loyalty moments; 'Come and join me fight!' They will say. When you do, they will take one step back, while you take one step forward, until you get to the front of the battle field, and realized you are the only one standing! So to many that will read this post, there is NOTHING, like OUR fight! It is YOUR fight, and MY fight. Even the bible says, do NOT meddle into affairs that does not concern you! I no dey hear word! OUCH!

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

LOCAL? RAZZ?

For those who read my old blog, I used the word 'razz' to described myself, that some ,if not many, took it to heart, that one 'classy commenter' , used it to cuss me out when she disagreed with me on a post. For few, if not some, knew, I was being sarcastic! Because, I am a down-to-earth-person ... wait o, I once read that it is only poor people that are down to earth ...  and it amuses me to see some people trying so hard to present a different image for the public, by forming or acting effizzzzy! One commenter once said, it was all about packaging! Issorit!

I have lived in Nigeria for over 3 decades and have related with both the rich and poor, uneducated and educated, as neighbours, friends or clients, and I put it to you all, that, ALL HUMANS are the same, especially, when faced with the same situation, ONLY THE ENVIRONMENT that we grew up in makes us different! Do you guys understand what I am saying? If you don't, have you watched Eddie Murphy old movie, Trading places?' For those who might not have watched it, let me summarize it quickly; Two millionaires decided to bet on a game with $1:00; They made their rich stock broker to live the life of a poor beggar and vice versa, and each became the other person! Which made the millionaires to conclude that, it is the environment that shapes one's character! Since we do not choose which environment to be born into, we should respect other people way of living.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

WHY THE RELUCTANCE?

Hubby and I were about to drive out when we saw a Nigerian woman walked by, she was wearing ankara gown. We greeted her and introduced ourselves. She came to do omogwu for her son whose wife gave birth. She always took a walk in the mornings because she needs the exercise and tired of being indoors all day. We exchanged address and that is it o!

They live behind our street, and we have not gone to see them, none have I seen her pass since a month ago! Why this reluctance by we Nigerians to meet each other in a foreign land? There is this fear or uncertainty in us! Maybe she didn't tell them or she did and they told her they were not interested. I admire the Hispanics and Indians o. They have a workable community. 

Tuesday, October 06, 2015

THE IRONY OF THE THREE QUESTIONS.

One of the things I like about my kids new school is the numerous home work they are given to do inside their laptops, except my son who is in 2nd grade. Before I print my eldest daughter's English essay every week, I always read it because the topics are very interesting. Infact, few days ago, I just finished reading one of her literature books she had assignment on. A very touching story written in 1954 by Kamala Markandaya, called 'Nectar in a Sieve.' 

Her essay of three weeks ago, really intrigued me. It was titled; 'The irony of the three questions' written by Leo Tolstoy. It was  short story about the three questions a king asked his wise men and he could not get a satisfactory answer and decided to seek out an old hermit that lived in the mountains. He got the answers to his three questions through his own actions without the hermit telling him the answers.

Friday, September 25, 2015

I DEY GDIGBAM!

Hey! My pipo! I dey hail unah o! { Greetings to everyone}. It's been a very busy week! My baby is teething, {back molars}, he is cranky, crying, clingy, and itching! He is asleep now, so I decided to drop in and let you guys know that I am very much around, and have not done any of my disappearing act! Ahahaha. I dey gdigbam! I enjoy blogging, and I don't see myself stopping even when I tried in the past, it has become a hobby to me. Thank you to all my readers and commenters. 

Okay! Today, I am gonna complain about a particular attitude some Nigerians have! E no dey tire me to talk about our pipo o jare!  Imagine! Someone sent a message from 9ja that we should send her $200, JUST LIKE THAT! Nope! It is not her first time, we have obliged her in the past. We told her we were flat broke, and explained about our new apartment, kids resuming school,  and more utility bills. Guess what she said next, ..... come on, guess, ...................,' we are bigger than that!' W-H-A-T!!!!!!! If only people know how these words pisses me off ehen! Bigger than wetin??? Than $200??? That is #50k! So, you can just walk in to any friend's or relative's house and ask to be given, NOT lend such amount, as if you gave them to keep somewhere??

Saturday, September 12, 2015

SIMPLY CREATIVE!

I love hair accessories! I always decorated my daughters' hair with beads and ribbons, now that they are teenagers, they have outgrown it.  My 14 year old likes hair bands and purple colour, while my 12 year old likes hair combs and pink colours. I buy the hair accessories from dollar and beauty shops, but I wanted something entirely different from the basics. I then, remembered my 41st birthday gift! 

Monday, September 07, 2015

THE CREDIT LIFE

 Workers are at home enjoying their holiday today, well not all! The dollar shop close to me is opened and of course grocery stores and essential services. This is the right time to talk about credit since it is about income earners today.

You see, when I first heard about the credit palava, I was like; 'Why get credit  card when you have your debit card? I came from a country where you pay cash for everything! So, we declined to get a credit card. It was when we were told we had no credit ratings when we wanted to lease an apartment and buy a car, it dawned on us that we must get it by force by fire! So hubby got it and joined my name to his account to curtail our spendings while I had debit with my own account.



It is enjoyable to spend money you are yet to earn o! To pay back, that is where the trouble begins! The gbese (debt) many income earners are in ehen! No be small thing! A guy said that when his gebese got to $10k, he hid his credit cards to avoid temptation and was spending his debit and paying back his credit gradually. Some credits are fried! Some credit information are stolen! This is why banks and individuals are very alert and cautious. I went shopping with one of our credit cards and it was declined! I called hubby who traveled. He was also using the same credit card,  and we have passed the agreed limit! I had to go back home to get the second credit card while he called the bank.  


Let me use this analogy to explain how some income earners behave; A $500 debit card was given to two friends each to purchase a washing machine. One of them bought $400 worth and saved $100. While the other bought $700, taking a credit of $200 from the shop with a promissory note to pay within a certain time or the item will be collected back. She was not able to meet the deadline and ran to her friend, for help, the friend refused. Some income earners live above their means and expects to be bailed out by friends. There is someone I know, who is no longer credit worthy, and is paying back a huge chunk from paycheck, this individual asked for our help to offset a debt, incurred again, which we refused, explaining we were on a tight budget. Can you believe, this person is no longer friendly on social platform? HABA! We are a large family living prudently, not because, we don't know what we want, but simply buy what we need!


Dear ALL income earners, as I wish you a happy labour's day, PLEASE,  live within your income! You DON'T have to be like the Jones! Having credit is helpful but also hurtful, when not well managed! HAPPY LABOR'S DAY!!! YE-HAW!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

MY SISTER-IN-LAW

Happy new month and welcome to the Fall season!
Babies are delivered after 9 months, and September symbolizes the period for all expectations to be birthed.
My sister-in-law recently delivered!

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

YANKEE GOD IS DIFFERENT FROM 9JA GOD.

My pipo, I have observed one thing o! Nigerian Christians in yankee have their own 'god' that is understanding, than the GOD they worshiped back home! Yes o! Their 'god' understand they have to get legit and are allowed to do anything to achieve that! I am not trying to be insensitive here, afterall, I have not removed the big log in my own eyes, before I can see and remove the tiny speck in theirs. My own is that they should just maintain their own lane, and don't come 'preachy' to me!!! And we wonder why some diaspora become unbelievers after relocating? It has nothing to do with the western society, but we, we!

There is absolutely nothing new I want to say on this matter because you have probably heard it all! But it still amazes me though! These same people will be forming 'spirit-filled' in forums! When I read some comments and posts, I just waka comot, because, the lies brekete! NIGERIAN CHURCHES IN DIASPORA DO NOT PREACH AGAINST SUCH 'SINS'!!! It has become a norm! Their 'god' will understand. Yet! They will be the same people to SCREAM about other sins! Is sin different from sin, my guys?

I  do hear some Nigerians say that GOD hates divorce, but in diaspora, it is okay for them to divorce their non-Nigerian spouses after getting what they want! So it is only your Nigerian spouse, your 'god' says you should not divorce abi? TAAA!!!

A guy once jokingly said that, the first rule of survival for any Nigerian immigrant, is to become born-again, be active in church, and become a pastor if you wish. That is why the stories one hears, makes one jaw drop to the floor, AYAKATA!!!


Monday, August 24, 2015

RESUMPTION DAY!

Schools resumed today. I am at home with my 19 months son, who is sleeping, so I decided to log in before he wakes up and start looking for his siblings. He had 3 months fun at home with them, and he's sure gonna miss them until they come back from school. School buses were picking kids from different corners, there was this nostalgia feeling in the air, maybe because it is the first day after a long summer. The house is quiet now, except for the radio that is on, I am missing the noise already.

Monday, August 17, 2015

SCHOOL SUPPLIES

4:52am 
Good morning everyone! It's being a very busy week for me. Schools are resuming next week, so got my kids registered in their new schools, bought their supplies and will start braiding my daughters' hair today, it usually takes me 2 days ...  I will finish on Thursday ... hopefully.

Talking about school supplies, I came across comments in facebook where parents talked about it. Many complained about the increase in the supply list, that schools are now indirectly shifting the expense to parents, because, their budgets have been reduced. NOPE! There are no text books to be bought, schools provides that. The school supplies are; Note books, pencils, biros pens, ruled sheets, crayons, hand sanitizers, clorox wipes, ziplocs,  kleneex, erasers, highlighters, sharpies, construction papers, binders, folders, glue, scientific calculator  etc. A particular commenter said, in her days, all she took to school was a pencil and note book, the rest was provided by the school. It all depends on the grade and city the schools are located and the prices ranges from 25cents.

Friday, August 07, 2015

I AM SNITCHING!

GOD be praised! We eventually moved into our new home on August 1st. The eighth month signifies a new beginning, a new year in RCCG calendar, and it is also my eldest daughter's birth month. LOOK! #pointing# I also changed my template and profile ... nay, I am not gonna change my blog name ... again, don't worry! ahaha.

 I sorted everything out yesterday, and went visiting my favourite entertainment blog to read all I missed, and I came across a request from a woman asking for help for her sister who wants to come to Texas, to birth her child, and I was like; Hey! I already have this topic in my draft! The idea came to me a day before we moved, because of a complaint I heard from a friend. A commenter, replied her, again ... the same opinion, I expressed in my post! Here was what I wrote on July 30th, which I titled, I HAVE TO SNITCH ON THIS!

my drafts


My dear fellow Nigerian women, please, if you are planning to come to USA, to have your baby, it is a very good idea and I will  advise anybody who can afford it, to do so. B-U-T, work out your logistics well, before boarding the plane! 

What are the logistics? Apart from the hospital and cost of delivery, your accommodation and feeding are also paramount! Listen! Don't just take for granted you have people here that will help you with that! HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR HOST? If you are directly related to your host, as a sibling, it is okay, but if you are a family friend, or a friend through a friend, or a distant relative, please, this post is specially for you!

Our Nigeria culture, expects us to welcome, accommodate and entertain guest, with the best we have in our homes, make them comfortable throughout their stay, and when they are leaving, give them a farewell gift, either cash or clothing or foodstuff. The guest is not expected to contribute a kobo . THIS IS NOT so in yankee! It is a different culture entirely! They don't believe in enabling people! As a guest, staying for a long time, you are expected to pull your own weight without being asked, by buying groceries and paying part of the utility bills. 


You see, since it is not our culture, some women don't know, and they expect their host to cater for them throughout the 3-5 months stay, while they use their own money for personal shopping. My fellow Nigerian women, your hosts are complaining! They are not happy with you and cannot wait to see you out of their apartment or house! Especially, when they made your stay very comfortable by vacating a room for you, driving you to your doctor's appointments, stay with you during delivery, help with the sleepless nights nursing your baby, take your baby for immunization, and yet, you cannot use your initiative to appreciate all their efforts in a little way? Rather, you be going on shopping spree? HABA!!!

'Why snitch on my fellow diaspora women?' Some, might be asking abi?  It is not because, I am amebo o, {me ke?! #throwaway face#} It is to help some of my fellow Nigerian women coming here to deliver, to prepare well financially, because, if you have to stay in a hotel or lease a bedroom apartment for short-term, you will know how much you will spend! And you need people around to help you with the baby, because, you have to rest.

Here are my suggestions, which I compiled through a friend who has traveled several times and delivered abroad, also from host's complains, and my own discretion;

1} When coming to stay with your host, please, don't come empty handed. Bring well-dried soup ingredients/foodstuff. It is 'gold' here. And DON'T overstay your welcome!

2}When you arrive, after the first 2 weeks, you will have understood the routine of your host by then, so when she goes grocery shopping, insist on paying, if she says no, put the cash in her hand or envelope when she likely expects it.

3}Whenever you go out for your personal shopping, buy groceries also, it does not need to be much or expensive; milk, egg, bread, sausage, cookies and ice cream. 

4}You can ask them to order pizza or take them out for burger once a month on your expense, or just give the children or host a treat.

5} Help with the cooking and cleaning in the home. PLEASE DO NOT INTERFERE IN THEIR CHILDREN'S UPBRINGING OR AFFAIRS, mingle, gist, joke, interact, but mind your business! DON'T behave like a stranger. It makes your host uncomfortable.

6} It is not that you should feed the house or turn to a maid O! It is just an act of appreciation. And, of course, you have to pay for your own laundry if they don't have washing machine at home. Sometimes, buy gas in the car.

7} If your husband comes to visit you after birth, he should get a good gift for the man of the house, because, he is playing his role of looking after you, in his absence.

It is not that your host is wicked or stingy or she is asking for too much, as some Nigerians will be very quick to say , it is just that your host will be making some sacrifices without you knowing! Time is money here! And any extra expenditure from your host's budgeted expenses, falls into credit! 

All the same, there is always an exception to every rule. Some hosts are also a pain in the a$$! Some have 'you-are-on-your-own-attitude' and won't bother to stock the home with food or stylishly ask for money, or even borrow from guest without paying back! Or shift the home expenses on the guest!

 Please, don't get angry if your request to be hosted by a friend or relative is turned down, because, some people are barely at home because of the nature of their job or they don't have the financial power to host yet or they don't have spare room to lodge you in! Abi, you will sleep in the parlour with a baby? 

The BOTTOM-LINE  is; Be financially well prepared!

Thank you for reading and have a wonderful weekend.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

FACE BOOK LIKES

Phew! Decided to take a breather and rest my limbs today. Few days time, all utilities will be disconnected! I went on blog run and face book visiting, which reminded me that, I am yet to talk about my ish with fb likes; I came across a R.I.P message, and some people were liking it! I was, like, hey, wait a moment! You are not suppose to like sad news! Rather, you COMMENT! But I saw several likes and ONLY ONE COMMENT! 

Thursday, July 23, 2015

THEM SAY, THEM SAY ...

I went to pick my package from the office which was dropped by the mail man when nobody was at home. I saw a couple who came to search for an apartment. As, I walked away with my package, they called out to me, and asked about the apartments. I gave them good report. They were surprised because, the review on the website gave only 2 stars and there were complaints about the walls being too thin. I told them, I was not aware of that, I like the apartments and the management. Unlike from my former place of abode, the manager was cold!

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

STILL LEARNING MY LESSONS...

Yesterday, my baby dropped my phone on the floor and it went black! This was not the first, second, third, fourth, fifth ... time, because he sees it as his musical toy, but it seems the phone has reached it's limit of endurance! So, I went searching for my old phone I bought in 2012, when I newly arrived. It is an unlocked phone that had just 2 main functions, call and text! Then, I was teased so much , ehen! I wasn't bothered, because, we were being prudent o jare!

Tuesday, July 07, 2015

FAMILY DRAMA!

Dearest siblings,
                       I know you love your brother and sister very much, but I want you to know that, immediately they get married, you don't come first in their lives anymore, so STOP seeing your in-laws as competitors, struggling for relevance, with them!

                     Siblings of brothers, you are the worst culprit in this family drama! Always talking about 'my brother's house.' For your information, IT IS NOT YOUR BROTHER'S HOUSE!!!!! It is their matrimonial home! GET THAT INTO YOUR HEADS! The only place you can call your own is, YOUR FATHER'S HOUSE!!!! 

Friday, July 03, 2015

A SEDENTARY LIFESTYLE

'Please don't cry' I told him as he stood in front of my apartment door. 'You can come back,ok?' he nodded, left and came an hour later. I had to take him to the room to see for himself, and he grinned. 'You can wait for him and watch a movie, if you like', he accepted eagerly. My son woke up, and they are both in the parlour this moment as I am typing playing games. 

Saturday, June 27, 2015

TRIBAL MARKS

see the 2 tribal marks? {20yrs}
Tribal marks are cuts inserted on an individual's face to easily identify the tribe he or she comes from. It is a very common practice in Nigeria. I was told it was because of war, that tribes and parents 'design' the face of their children in case they get lost and to avoid being killed mistakenly. I was also told, it was done to wave away evil from a very sick child, and some represents covenant with the deities of the village before the acceptance of Christianity. Some tribal marks are so 'loud' that it disfigures the face! One day, I saw a  fair beautiful lady, with three long wide vertical marks on both cheeks! I immediately knew the tribe she was from! But at what price? While some are barely visible until you take a closer look ... like mine.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE

Do you guys remember the comedy; 'Mind your language?' If you don't, then you still be small pickin o jare! I was surprised to see the link on a friend's fb page. Hmm, talking about face book, I have something I wish to talk about ... but some other day. So, I clicked on the link and had a good laugh! I searched for it on you-tube and my week has been full of laughter! 

Saturday, June 20, 2015

AFRICAN SHOPS VS OTHERS.

I enjoy shopping for housekeeping. The first time I went shopping, my carts were full and cost about $300! I was like, for ALL THESE!!! So imagine my surprise when I went to an African shop, with that same amount, I came out with few items! It is like back home, where imported products are more expensive than locally made products. I observed African immigrants shop more in large grocery stores than in African shops. An African store opened some months back, it's being a place of hangouts for many Africans, because apart from the usual food stuff, they sell cooked food also. { it was closed down for the second time for not meeting the hygiene standard!}


I find alternative products to Nigerian meals in grocery stores, except for palm oil, crayfish, stockfish and ogbono. For instance, I use Russet potato instead of yam, blend oat to make wheat-swallow, and buy frozen cut-spinach to prepare Efo. Hubby don't eat okro, if not, I will cook okro instead of ogbono ... nay, we don't like ewedu much. I tried their powdered milk, {I like creamer for Lipton} I didn't like it, so I stick to our type of powdered milk.

African shops are mostly owned by individuals and are doing their best to raise their heads above waters. I doff my hat for them, because it takes determination to stay afloat, in the competitive market, paying taxes and meeting the required standard. Some items perish quickly, like yams that gets rotten, and some items stay too long on the shelf, like ogbono, which will taste soapy when cooked, .... and YOU CANNOT SEND THEM BACK, TO GET REFUND! Unlike in the big stores. 

Hence, many like playing it safe and stick to big stores, because losing $21;00 for a tuber of yam, {the weight determines the price} is not cool, since, you can use this same $21:00 to get milk {$2:84},bread {$1:18}, eggs {1:72},cereal {$3:98}, hot dog {1:50}, noodles { $2:00}, Nesquick {$7:38}. This can feed an individual for about a week!

I prefer buying store brands because it is more affordable, and I take ample opportunity in any sales to make good purchases. African shops don't have store brands and no sales day. I buy my ogbono and palm oil from only one place because theirs is 100% original. I tried in two places before I discovered them. I buy the un-blended crayfish to avoid sand. I dislike the blended prawn heads, they sell as crayfish, it taste chaffy. I dry my fish instead, of buying, thanks to Flo, because apart from being cheaper, some taste burnt and too dry.

I shop at both ends because they meet my needs at different times, but I frequent the bigger stores more. I wish there are big African shops like their counterparts, maybe items will be cheaper and returns accepted. Yeah right! If wishes were horses, beggars would have ridden.  







Saturday, June 06, 2015

THE 41 DAYS CULTURE

I went visiting the newest mother in blogsville, to check on her as our Nigeria culture expects. I was surprised not to find her at home. Where did Iyawo and omomo went to ehen? I wondered, because it was not yet 41 days ke! Only for her to say she went out with bobo and chief. 'Okk! You went for immunization ba?'  'Noo! We went to an enjoyable event', she replied. SHIOR! I exclaimed! But it is not up to 41 days as your Yoruba culture stipulates. She simply looked at me with that her beautiful big eyes and charming smile on her face, and I said, 'it matters not o jare, as you both had fun!' Oh by the way, I was talking about my beautiful Sisi Yemmie ... and the conversation was solely in my  head o! Hmmm, to think that I  have known Yemmie from when she was schooling abroad, then back to Nigeria, got a job, married and now a mother! #Famzing is allowed o jare# 

Monday, June 01, 2015

MY ACCENT

Our accents makes it easier to know where an individual comes from. Some accents are considered sexy, some melodious, while some are made mockery of. The first time, I heard the accent of a Trinidad and Tobago lady's, I didn't want her to stop talking, because it was like she was singing the words out. My accent is Edo-ish, especially when I am speaking in pidgin. Though, I have been here for 3 years, I have not acquired American accent. Forget the 'gonna, 'wanna' and 'ain't' words that I sometimes write in my posts, I was just being a tease. I don't say the words. An Indian man, immediately knew where I came from, when I entered his cab and  he heard me talking on the phone. 

source


Yesterday, my accent was liked once more, but, some also disliked my accent. The people who liked my accent were whites, while the few that disliked my accent were blacks! My accent has also removed the stereotype tag on me. I went to a beauty shop owned by a Chinese, looking for  2 similar ponytails, I stood staring at the counter for a while, because I could not find 2 that were same. The manager walked up to me to asked what the problem was, I explained to him, he also searched, there was none, so he left me. I eventually, took 2 different ponytails. I knew why he came, he thought, I was up to no good! 


I love the British accent most. It took me a while to grasp the AA accent. In all fairness, the whites are more patient to listen to other accents, and politely ask to repeat yourself if they can't understand . Unlike, some blacks who will snicker. Even, amongst ourselves, we make mockery of each other accents. I remember, the first month, I arrived, a Nigerian said 'I just got off the boat!' When he heard me speak. My brother was teasing me last time we spoke, why was I still talking like a 9ja? Because, he earlier on  spoke with his nieces and nephews, and their accents were different from mine, especially my 4th child. We laughed and I told him, that my Edo accent, is so concentrated, that it will need plenty of 'water' to dilute it!

In all, I believe accents makes everyone unique.


Happy new month to you all!  



Friday, May 29, 2015

A NEW DAWN IS HERE!!!

HAPPY DEMOCRACY DAY!!!


A NEW DAWN IS HERE!!!
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 GOD BLESS NIGERIA!!!

YE-HAW!!!

Sunday, May 24, 2015

WHAT I DON'T LIKE IN MY APARTMENT

Hey! My guys! You remember, I said I will talk about the things I don't like in my apartment in my previous post huh?

I live in a peaceful and beautiful neighbourhood. Any visitor that comes, likes the environment because it was built with children in their mind. You can't help falling in love with the landscaping and structural design, since it is a new concept with modern facilities. But nothing of man-made is perfect, right? 

Monday, May 18, 2015

IT IS NOT THEM...BUT US!

I  nodded a greeting to my neighbour who lives in the second building opposite mine, as I took the trash out on Friday evening ... let me digress here ... sometimes,  I do sit outside for a while and have a 'me' time.  So, when I came back, I saw that she had gone inside. Her kids were standing by the window, calling and waving to other children outside, and their mother came to close the window! 



my me-time-place

I was taken aback! Why? I noticed a black kid went to play with her children, when I was passing. Is it safe to assume that, she does not want her children to associate with other black people? or she does not want her children to play with other children at all? If so, don't they play in school with different children?  Because there were 2 Hispanic women talking and watching their kids playing, though, they did not near her own children. I think, she is from Africa by her dressing and dialect when talking with her tribeswomen at the car park. And Nope! I don't know her as a friend, nor, have I said a word to her for the 2 years I have been living here. 



You see, we like to cry RACISM! RACIST! But the bitter truth is that, it is not entirely them! But also us! We don't even like each other! Let me tell you something, the most annoying challenges I have experienced in America, is from us! There is no African community like the Hispanics, Indians and Chinese, that you can see and feel their presences in some places you go. Ours is church and party! Any avenue to make you spend your hard-earned money, that is where you will see Africans! But help, or show others the way, WHOSAI! Why? Because of, your-own-no-go-better-pass-my-own-attitude, if-mumu-no-fall-maga-no-go-chop-attitude, and pull-him-down-syndrome! 

Sincerely, do I blame anybody for this? NAY! Because, experience have taught many that it is best to go solo or be a loner, to avoid had-I-known-stories! I was always so eager to meet fellow Nigerians, on my arrival, that my hostess, will be laughing and shaking her head at me, that I don't understand yet,  but, now, that zeal is no longer there, infact, I avoid 'us' as much as possible, because, the need for survival has turned some Nigerians into something else! You simply don't know who you should call a friend. I am alone at home, no friends, and I like it that way because I am safe that nobody is seeing my family and I as a means to an end, and then keep malice with us! 

Well, I went in by past 8 ... it's almost summer, so the day was not dark yet. Hmm,  talking about apartments, I will tell you what I don't like about my apartment next week. 

Have a fulfilled week ahead.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

THEY WON'T TOUCH IT WITH A 10FT POLE!!!...I KNOW..

I have always had a curious mind about anything spiritual and supernatural, but I curbed the urge because of my bible teachings ... but some events do come up that makes me want to ask questions to satisfy the 'hunger' in me. Hmmm ... so much was said against NOAH ... the movie of course ... HEY! WAIT! Don't click off yet, it is not a movie review ... I just want answers to some questions that has been in me since I became born-again 2 decades ago, but suppressed it because I was afraid, I might be committing a sin, or be held responsible for anybody going astray ... but yesterday, the 'hunger' in me awakened, so I wish to learn from you all.  

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

STILL THINKING OF A TITLE ABEG.

I was excited when Netflix started showing Nollywood movies, in April.  We have watched; Lagos cougar, Forgetting June, Broken, October 1, Matters Arising and Lies men tell. I liked the serious editing done to the first 2 movies, I wept over Broken, I gave a standing ovation to October 1, I had a good laugh at the last 2 movies.
 I have a problem with the houses used in Lagos cougar and Matters Arising ... the status was exaggerated ... What I mean is that in Lagos cougar, she is a successful real Estate executive, living in splendor from the look of the house, furniture and fittings, but  in the last scene, her bedroom did not compliment the luxurious look! 


source



And in Matters Arising ... COME-ON!!!! The state of that mud house is beyond deplorable! I know, the movie wants to portray a very poor man, but it did not 'gel' with the looks of the poor man. The 'because-I-am-a-good-man's bedroom with the blackened wall and mattress on the floor with 2 ankara wrapper on it, looks like a kitchen that was converted into bedroom for the home video! How can an 'Alajo' not be able to afford a decent one room? A fine man concerned about his looks, who gave his lover #15k, do not eat 3 pieces of meat, unless it is 4, is living in such abject poverty? Please, not convincing to me o.   October 1, got a 5 star rating from me.  

Friday, May 01, 2015

GREETINGS.

Happy workers' day to my people back home, and happy new month to everybody :D
source.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

...AND HERE IS MY 'BUT!' .. AN UPDATE.

9:42 am, I dropped it with a thud as I read the last paragraph, wondering why such a beautiful story should end up like this?! I poured so much accolades on it  here ... now I am hurting!



It all started from Chapter 51 ... I closed the book because I was afraid to know what will happen ... but curiosity got the better part of me, so I continued reading albeit reluctantly, hoping against hope it was not going towards the direction of my thoughts ... eventually page 588 confirmed my fears!

Sunday, April 26, 2015

IT COULD NEVER BE MORE TRUER! ... A DIFFERENT KIND OF PERSPECTIVE.

...so I eagerly ripped open the carton to bring it out. When I got to chapter 2, I paused. WAIT O! This is not what I think is going to happen? HMM  ... ok! I continued reading because what she was saying, could never be more truer...

Friday, April 17, 2015

AM I BECOMING A FEMINIST?

source
I don't know if you ladies remember your mothers quarreling with you, when you refuse to do chores or cook, and telling you something like this; ' Nah you sabi o! If you like don't learn how to do all these things, nobody go help you when you get to your husband's house! I won't be there!' Well women that grew up from the 70's-90's might remember, if the youngies don't. This is because, ladies back then, were trained and prepared for wifely roles in future.