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Friday, December 25, 2015

HO! HO! HO! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Merry Christmas to everyone!
And wishing you all a happy new year in advance!






I took these pictures as I drove down my street.

 Not cooking this Christmas again, my sister-in-law is hosting us in their new home and we would later attend a Christmas party. 
Thank you guys for always visiting, have an enjoyable holiday. YE-HAA!

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

CHRISTMAS TREES

My mum bought the first plastic Christmas tree  I saw, when I was 9 years old. It was placed  on the floor by the corner of the T.v and stored away after the celebration to be used again and again, with branches missing now and then, until it remained a skeletal frame and it was disposed off when I was 13. Did I miss it? NAY! I didn't attach any sentiment to, I felt indifferent, because it was oyibo culture to have it in their homes, my child's mind told me.


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So, here I am, in the white man's land, and you will think  I will behave like the 'Romans since I am in Rome ba? NAY! I saw different sizes of fir trees for prices ranging from $30-$250. The plastic ones within the same range but comes with colourful lights, and can be used again and again, unlike the fir trees that will be discarded later. There are colourful  potted  plastic Christmas trees for porches it is about $20. I was thinking of getting it, but used a Christmas wreath instead on my door, and put  lights around the little shrub behind my window.

I began to wonder how did this Christmas tree tradition came about, because it does not have anything to do with the birth of Christ, apart from the star they put on top which symbolizes the star of David, or the star the wise men saw or the birth of a new star. As usual, goggle my friend, educated me. In summary, it originated from Germany, where a lumberjack who cut down trees for a living went with his young son to sell his goods. The boy noticed that, the small tree at the bottom of the big tree was not used, and he told his father to bring it home for him, because he liked the fresh smell of the fir tree, his mother decided to put some colours  on it to make it beautiful, and it happened to be during the winter . So, NO! It did not originate from paganism as certain Christian society wants us to believe.

Later in years, a huge market was found in it! It is no news that all celebrations have been commercialized but some have come to believe so much in these beautification objects that they forget the essence of December 25th, which is a day SET ASIDE { see my emphasis} to celebrate the birth of our saviour. But I agree with all the commercials that Christmas is all about loving and sharing, because Christ Himself is Love. Is it too early to wish you guys a merry Christmas?

P.s;Santa claus nko? Some believe in him rather than Christ sef!
P.s.s; So how are you guys preparing for Christmas?
P.s.s.s; Christmas card is not my fort either! Take the money buy biscuit or sweet for me and use your hand write merry Christmas for the wrapper. #shines teeth#

Friday, December 04, 2015

HOUSEWIVES VS CAREER WIVES.

I never planned to write another post until nextweek, but I have observed that I lose the train of thoughts when I want to update or when I save it in my draft, it does not come out as I expected or 'fresh' as I wanted or I  will read a similar topic in another blog, and I  will have no choice  than to delete it. If you have observed, I write as I speak, as if I am talking with you, that is my style of writing which I enjoy, but if I draft it down, it becomes like an article after so much editing, hence, I like to go with the flow.
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It is about SAHM o! Infact, this post is long overdue sef! I will like to title it; Non-working mothers vs working mothers, but that will be too 'soft'. Lemme, leave it the way it is o jare!  Will I ever get tired of talking about this issue? NAY! Why? Because, I am still one, regardless of my  part-time job. Hmm, I no go let una hear word again because I don get one shekele job like that ba? Make unah no vex. That is where I get my tori from nowadays. Afterall, nah where pesin dey work, nah from there he go chop ke! 


A co-worker asked me if I have another job with the present one I am doing. I said, 'No. Another co-worker who was a Nigerian, said, I should not say so, I have another job. 'Which job?' I asked him oo. Abi I get a twin that I don't know of? 'Taking care of your children is a job!' I was amazed at his reply. 'Well, thank you sir! Some if not many don't know that!' 'It is those that have not sat down at home to look after children 24/7 that will say that!' He replied. Let me give you a little background info about my co-worker. He is married to AA for 15 years, has 3 kids, so, his orientation has changed from the typical  average 9ja mentality. This led us to talk more about childcare and family as we worked.


SAHM's have been castigated for too long by the society and virtual world in Nigeria. {I don't know about other countries o} The sacrifices made by us are not appreciated, hence, many SAHM, shy away from identifying with the cliche.  Infact, some people  believe they have nothing tangible to contribute to a discussion or worth listening to because, they have no value, since people's worth are measured by their income! (The bedrock of this present society is materialism.) During arguments, it is 'GO AND GET A JOB FIRST!  OR YOU THAT IS A HOUSEWIFE! Or They give more Kudos  to working mothers. Do you know what it is like to stay with kids 24/7? #experience is the best teacher.# If you are hot-tempered, you will mellow down by force by fire!


Many say, it is because of the unexpected.  GOD forbids! {AMIN O!} But I ask, is it only one-sided? Can't the woman lose her own job also? We are all living and striving by HIS grace and not by our own power. I know the cost of living is soaring high, but prudence is the key word! Stop trying hard to be like the Jones! There is time for everything! No woman remains a housewife forever! {What stays forever on this earth before sef?} When the kids get older, we either get back into the workforce or start a small business. My kids can take care of themselves now and help with my youngest, so I can venture out.


My 2 cents on this controversial issue is that, IF you have a good job before marriage, do not resign. Prepare to invest in a good daycare  center or if you are lucky to have your parents or in-laws close by, build a good family support system. If your job is nothing to write home about or unemployed before marriage, start to think of what you can do from home to give little pocket money. My relative is selling ice-cream from her home. I sold recharge cards and ice-blocks. I rented novels and sold cds{not condoms o, before unah naughty mind go think otherwise,ahahha} I even made zobo drinks in empty ragolis bottle water. I was learning how to sew bed sheets before I relocated. All the monies I got from there no fit pay monthly nepa bill sef, talkless of house rent! But it kept me busy for a while and I had little change to spend on my own. I managed a shop for a close relative for a short period of time  and was given an allowance {not salary o} of #20k a month, before I moved to the land of the brave and liberty. 


So my dear readers, I have been on both sides and I tell you that, I don't regret one bit staying at home with my kids. It has it's pros and cons, highs and lows,  but it is worth all the endurance and insults. I might not have all the trappings of a materialistic lifestyle,  but I am content and thankful to GOD, who is my provider and protector. 

Thank y'all  for taking the time out to read my long post. Have an enjoyable weekend.

Tuesday, December 01, 2015

MIS-COMMUNICATION.

Na wa! So December don reach nah-nah? Hmm, happy new month o!  Christmas is around the bend. I see beautiful Christmas decorations in my neighbourhood which comes alight at night, but fear no let me snap and put in my blog o, because I don't know if it is legal or  get sued! E no dey hard them at all to file complaint! If not, I will have delighted your eyes with aww-pictures. That reminds  of a Judge Judy episode, where she called a plaintiff an idiot for suing her friend whose daughter drove her car and died on the spot when the car flipped over. Yes! Some people just dey kolo, I swear!

Now! To the topic at hand! I want to talk about mis-communication. I found myself in the middle of a brouhaha that was going on in my department o! Being the new kid in the 'block, 'everybody wanted to play 'boss' with me! No problemo! I simply did my best until yesterday, when I eventually met my manager on one-to-one and bared my mind to him. He apologized for all the ish that was going on and told me who I should solely obey, and I can call him on his personal number if I have a complaint. I felt happy. You see, due to lack of communication between my manager and I, a particular employee was using it to her advantage, saying the 'manager left  so and so instruction down! I work only at nights, while the manger comes in after I have left but yesterday was the end of the month, he has to prepare his report, so he worked at night.

Mis-communication has caused rift in families, between friends, and even amongst bloggers! If only important info is passed out, questions  asked and discussion made, so much grudges and anger will be averted! Gaps makes us use assumptions as fillings. Communication does not mean doing amebo  or gossiping o! The key word is 'important info', to enable people to analyze, work with and have a direction or closure. 

Happy new month to y'all!




Tuesday, November 24, 2015

I AM THANKFUL.

Watching as a woman profusely thanked someone for given her some money, regardless that she has more than that, made me curious to ask her why so much gratitude? She explained to me that, it is not easy for people to part away with their hard-earned cash, no matter how little it is, and it is good to show gratitude. It is just how the scriptures describes it; He that is faithful in little, will be faithful in much. This appreciative attitude I developed as I grew up.

Believe me when I say, it has opened doors for me! People have blessed me, and I sincerely appreciated it. Some will say, leave it unto GOD, your reward is in heaven, it matters not if the person was thankful , you have done your part as a kind person. But, didn't Christ asked how many lepers came back to thank Him, after healing them? It is like the Yoruba adage that says, if you thank someone at night for  the little he or she did for you, she will do a bigger one in the morning.

Hence, I am forever grateful to my creator and confidante, Jehovah. Thank you to everyone who visits my blog. And to people who have been there for me , you are  appreciated from the depth of my being. This is my 4th thanksgiving celebration in the land of the brave and liberty.

 HAPPY THANKSGIVING AMERICA! YE-HAW!!!

p.s. Preparing my turkey tomorrow. It's gonna be a full house on Thursday! 
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Thursday, November 19, 2015

GIVING

A friend from 9ja, gave us chocomilo, tomtom, black smoked fish(es) , groundnut and garri. ME-HN! I thanked her so much ehen! My kids took the chocomilo, my hubby the tomtom because of his cold, while I just finished using the black fish to cook correct ogbono soup that is ta-sun-sun (say it in baba suwe's voice} in the whole house. She brought the right gift for everybody. She is a seasoned traveler, so she knows whatsup!

Talking about giving, are all givings sensible? This is because, I have heard, someone call another a fool for helping! Are all givings appreciated? This is because I have seen a woman use clothes given to her baby for rags! Are all givings blessed by GOD? This is because, I have read where a banker stole from his place of work to give to the church! Experience has taught me that the best gifts that can never go wrong  amongst my Nigerian pipo is money and foodstuff! 

Yes o! Everybody likes money ke! Abi you don't? And everybody must eat! Again, our superstitious mind and  the confessions we have heard from the mouths of evil people, makes us wary of gifts! Hence, many gifts find their way into the garbage and some people don't give! I know of an extended family whose cousin put the money given to her, under a rock in the spiritual  realm instead of spending it on goodies like the other children, and the family suffered untold hardship until, after much prayers, she confessed. That is why  some people prefer paying money into one's account or give  a gift card, rather than cash in hand.

Nevertheless, giving is a beautiful and joyful thing because, the hand of the giver is always on top and GOD always blesses a sincere giving heart. Give as you are led by GOD and  which you can afford

*ta-sun-sun (sweet aroma/ smells so good) 

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

OVERSEA HUSBAND?

I just got off the phone with my close relative's friend who wanted my honest opinion on a marriage proposal for her youngest daughter from a family whose son lives abroad. He already has two kids from oyibo. They are indecisive because they have heard not-so-good-stories of abroad marriages. 'DO NOT ACCEPT THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL!' I replied loudly and firmly. I went ahead to give her so many reasons, and she was satisfied. I decided to share it here for some of you who might find themselves or their friends in such situation. 


Nigerians have this mentality that any of our men that married foreigners, they  not are not  actually married! In their minds, he did it to legalize his stay! They forget he got married to a woman like them who have feelings! And they think, the children from the marriage will not be recognized back home as his true African Children because, they are abroad and their mothers will not allow them to relocate to Nigeria! So the man has to have his own flesh and blood on his father's soil! That is why some women willingly become the Nigerian wife, waiting for his visit 2-3 times a year to get them pregnant and be sending money home frequently. If they like it that way, good for them! But I will not encourage someone I know to toll such path! Abegy, it is not life o jare! 


I told her, he might still be married to his wife, so he needs her daughter as his Nigerian wife to be birthing for him and warm his bed whenever he travels down. If he is divorced from his oyibo wife, he will be paying child's support for his two kids and alimony, to his wife, so he will be broke often, and expects his new wife to work her a$$ off if she relocates to join him, to be paying the bills! If he is financially ok, he might not want her to mingle with other people,  or drive or go shopping alone, so he can control her, making her a 'prisoner' in their home, which will be depressing! Or he will ask her to go back to school to read nursing or any medical field where the money is, so she can earn a lot later, footing most of the bills, this is to secure his future. In summary, she is just a means to an end, all for his gains! And what about physical attraction and love? What does she know about him per say? Have we not read about Nigerian men living abroad killing their wives? Because of infidelity, money and losing control over them? LET HIM FIND A NIGERIAN WIFE WHERE HE IS, IF HE IS DIVORCED O JARE! Personally, I don't like men with baggages,and long distance relationships! She is just 26 years old. Leave her to find a man of her choice in Nigeria.


You see, our men go back home to marry because they say, Nigerian women living abroad don 'tear eyes finish!' It is like when men from the city go to the village to marry wives because they claim city girls don 'spoil finish!' Only to get the shock of their lives later in years when their wives start to exhibit the same character like the city and oversea women they condemned! What an irony! They want to eat their cake and still have it! There are hardworking and beautiful Nigerian women here, wanting to settle down, but  some of our men, prefer to have affairs with them and go back home to marry because they want a woman from their tribe, and a young bride they can manipulate! 


Listen! Do NOT for once think, you are smarter than the Nigerian men seeking for wives back home! This is because they have had everything planned out before looking for you as a wife! Yes! You might relocate and get your papers, but at what price? Why go looking for an egg in the bush when you have 99 in your basket?

Wednesday, November 04, 2015

UNTL YOU GET CLOSER...

Many atimes, it is said that, first impression matters, but not always the true situation of things. Many atimes, we have judged people based on what we see and hear, until we get closer to them and found out they are not really what they are portrayed to be. Many atimes, we have misquoted people out of context because of the stereotyping we have done. But if we take a moment or minute to get closer to them, they might not be that bad as imagined. I am saying this because of a neighbour.

You see (there I go again!..ehehehe) the first month of school resumption, I waited with my daughter for the school bus, until I was assured she was ok. The second day of waiting with her, we saw a classmate of hers, she was walking briskly to and fro on the sidewalk and eventually, walked away. I wondered why she would leave the bus-stop on her street and go to the next? This she did for many weeks, refusing to join the children, but walked with a kind of aggressive-gait to the next street. 

One sunny day, as they alighted from the school bus, two girls accosted her and they were arguing. She turned her back to leave and one of the girls hit her from behind. Luckily, one of the mothers living close by, rushed out to stop them before it broke out into a big fight! Meanwhile, some boys were egging on the two girls to beat her while they were with their phones to record them and probably download it in you-tube! We later found out the two girls and several boys were from the street behind but because they have planned to beat up this girl, they got down on her street! Why? Because they say she was a bully of a sort! And I learnt other things about her which made me understood her better.

Her sister walks the same way! She followed her one morning to the bus-stop while I was pushing the buggy on the sidewalk and my daughter sat on the pavement listening to her music. The gait in their walks smelled trouble with a capital T! Picture how a creditor is walking with all determination to collect her money from her debtor, and ready to disgrace her if she don't pay! I jejely walked back to where my daughter sat down, watching to see what was about to go down. They stood behind my daughter who ignored them, with the sister putting her hands akimbo and tapping her foot, you know that kind of 'today-nah-today- stance'?

'Hello', I said, to break the ice. 'Are you twins?' Because they look so much alike, though, I knew they weren't. The elder sister is in high school which is 23 mins walk from our street, and I see her some days going and coming back from school. 'No!' Her elder sister replied and left few minutes later, leaving the sister to wait for the bus with other children. It was then I realized, she had wanted to always be with other children on our street, but due to her precedent and fall out with one of kids, she shied away from them! And the previous day, her brother came looking for her and we pointed where she was! Maybe when she got home in the afternoon, they asked her why? And she might have said, she felt uncomfortable or another response which would have made her elder sister to follow her down that morning! All she could have done was simply stay with us! Especially the day it was drizzling, she walked under the drizzle to the other side, while we took cover under a neighbour's garage. Three kids from the street behind us, walks to our own street everyday, to play with their friends, so I wondered why she felt uncomfortable waiting with them.

The next day, she waited with the children on our street. My daughter shared some candies she had on her to all of them. When they came down from the bus in the afternoon, she said to my daughter; 'I am sorry for being mean to you earlier on, can we be friends?' It was then I realized that all she needed was a show of love, which my daughter did by that her simple gesture of sharing candy! And yes! They are now friends, coming over to play with us, and my daughter doing same! Getting to know her now over a month, I found she is a nice kid, who simply built a wall of defense around her with that attitude and learnt early to be strong outside, but inside, she is just soft. She is now friends with all the kids waiting for the bus and her elder sister now say hello to my eldest daughter whenever they meet in the hallways or cafeteria in the school.They all play together in my home or theirs. 5 days ago when it rained heavily, I followed my daughter with an umbrella, and I saw her running to come and stay under the garage with other kids, all chattering away while the school bus pulled up. I felt happy that all the kids were now so friendly. They all come out to play sometimes on the sidewalks or in front of any house they prefer.

This applies to every facet of our lives. Sometimes, we judge people wrongly until we get closer. In my place of work, a co-worker was so quiet and aloof during my first week of arrival, while another was jovial and chatty. I liked the jovial one but judged the other as a snob and ignored her! Alas! 2 months working there now, I realized the 'snob' is really the nice one while the chatty one is a chameleon! It was her defense mechanism not to get involved in the department ish! Because she is hot-tempered and when angry, she can say unprintable things which she can be queried or sued for! Hence, she ignores everybody and face her job squarely! 

I have also been judged wrongly by people, until they get closer to me and say you are not as I thought or heard! Like it is always said, every action gets a reaction! And until you actually get close to someone, you won't know them! Social platforms is a virtual world!  So, don't believe or judge a person positively or negatively by what you read or hear. 

Thank you for reading my long post and enjoy your remaining week.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

NOT MY FIGHT!

Hey! Have you ever found yourself in a situation that you will be left with the towel hanging? .... NO? Well I have! Several times! My fierce loyalty to friends, always left me being the enemy!

I experienced it in school, in my neighbourhood and in blogsville. I won't bore you all with the details, I simply messed up big time! Hence, I withdrew into my shell. It is not you, but me. Cheesy cliche right? I don't know how to hide my heart since it is always on my sleeve, but I can roll down my sleeve to cover it up a bit chei? The same passion I used to like, it is the same I used to dislike, which is a trait I have been trying to suppress. So to help myself now, I rather don't want to know whatever ish is going on! This much I told two of my co-workers few days ago! There was a power -game being played out in the department, and one was trying to lure me to her side, I told both of  them, o-ha, that I was not interested to dance to any form of music being played! I should simply be left alone! Abegy! I did not come there to make friends or foes, but to earn my $$$!

I will conclude this post with the proverb an elderly man once told me during one of my loyalty moments; 'Come and join me fight!' They will say. When you do, they will take one step back, while you take one step forward, until you get to the front of the battle field, and realized you are the only one standing! So to many that will read this post, there is NOTHING, like OUR fight! It is YOUR fight, and MY fight. Even the bible says, do NOT meddle into affairs that does not concern you! I no dey hear word! OUCH!

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

LOCAL? RAZZ?

For those who read my old blog, I used the word 'razz' to described myself, that some ,if not many, took it to heart, that one 'classy commenter' , used it to cuss me out when she disagreed with me on a post. For few, if not some, knew, I was being sarcastic! Because, I am a down-to-earth-person ... wait o, I once read that it is only poor people that are down to earth ...  and it amuses me to see some people trying so hard to present a different image for the public, by forming or acting effizzzzy! One commenter once said, it was all about packaging! Issorit!

I have lived in Nigeria for over 3 decades and have related with both the rich and poor, uneducated and educated, as neighbours, friends or clients, and I put it to you all, that, ALL HUMANS are the same, especially, when faced with the same situation, ONLY THE ENVIRONMENT that we grew up in makes us different! Do you guys understand what I am saying? If you don't, have you watched Eddie Murphy old movie, Trading places?' For those who might not have watched it, let me summarize it quickly; Two millionaires decided to bet on a game with $1:00; They made their rich stock broker to live the life of a poor beggar and vice versa, and each became the other person! Which made the millionaires to conclude that, it is the environment that shapes one's character! Since we do not choose which environment to be born into, we should respect other people way of living.


The word 'Razz' is a derogatory word coined by Nigerians to describe people who are not educated or not exposed or not trendy, or not 'tush' or not rich or grew up in certain poor areas or cannot get the expected media- looks through make-up, or look too African, or if you get into a fight or quarrel or say foul words! Some people who don't want to use the word 'Razz' itself, because they believe it is 'Razzy' {I coined it'} to do that, use the word 'Local' instead! And this is what I want to correct! LOCAL IS NOT RAZZ! I remember years back when a celebrity visited and she mentioned that a 'local girl' showed her around' ME-HN! BLOGSVILLE CRASHED WITH COMMENTS CALLING FOR HER LIMBS! Some commenters tried to explain that local was not a derogatory word, rather it was a term simply used to describe anyone who grew up in a particular town and knows the area at the back of her hand! WHO-SAI! They refused to listen o!

If you think local is an insulting word, why then do you say you are from so-so and so local government area? Abi, don't we fill that in many forms or state it in our resumes? I put it to you all that, people that go about calling others razz, are the ones that have inferiority complex issues with themselves! If the 'razz' people are given the same privilege as you have, believe me, they will turn out better than your 'tush' self! I know! Many atimes, it is said that money can never buy class? LIKE SERIOUSLY? WAIT O! What is class it self? Is it not the luxuries money can buy and the 'yanga' attitude that joins it? You think, the tomatoes seller you see on the roadside today, cannot become 'classy' if places are swapped? Everybody's shit stinks! Whether you eat food from a golden plate, with golden cutleries, or drink water from a golden goblet, you will not shit gold! It is still maggots that will eat all corpses in 6ft graves, whether in a diamond crusted or plain wood coffin!

My purpose for this long ranting post, is to tell people to STOP all these their yeye efizzy / fake lives they are living both in and outside the virtual world! You are doing more harm than good to yourself! Sometimes, they lose a helping hand or an important info because they have portrayed a larger-than-you-image!

Thank you for reading. Have a nice week ahead.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

WHY THE RELUCTANCE?

Hubby and I were about to drive out when we saw a Nigerian woman walked by, she was wearing ankara gown. We greeted her and introduced ourselves. She came to do omogwu for her son whose wife gave birth. She always took a walk in the mornings because she needs the exercise and tired of being indoors all day. We exchanged address and that is it o!

They live behind our street, and we have not gone to see them, none have I seen her pass since a month ago! Why this reluctance by we Nigerians to meet each other in a foreign land? There is this fear or uncertainty in us! Maybe she didn't tell them or she did and they told her they were not interested. I admire the Hispanics and Indians o. They have a connected community. 

From my past experience with Nigerians, I don't blame them or myself o jare! Once bitten, twice shy abeg! I have made friends in my neighbourhood. I was surprised at the cheerful greetings of one particular neighbour, whenever I escorted my daughter to wait for her school bus and walked my sons home when the school bus drop them off in the afternoons. Initially, I was aloof because It was strange to me to see a friendly neighbour! Since, the bus stop was in front of her house, we met a lot and started chatting, then we became friends. We visit each other and she introduced me to 3 other neighbours ... we only wave a greetings to each other. Wait o! Did I tell you guys, it was my first time to see a house-husband? I will gist you another day.

Ok! bye-bye! 

Tuesday, October 06, 2015

THE IRONY OF THE THREE QUESTIONS.

One of the things I like about my kids new school is the numerous home work they are given to do inside their laptops, except my son who is in 2nd grade. Before I print my eldest daughter's English essay every week, I always read it because the topics are very interesting. Infact, few days ago, I just finished reading one of her literature books she had assignment on. A very touching story written in 1954 by Kamala Markandaya, called 'Nectar in a Sieve.' 

Her essay of three weeks ago, really intrigued me. It was titled; 'The irony of the three questions' written by Leo Tolstoy. It was  short story about the three questions a king asked his wise men and he could not get a satisfactory answer and decided to seek out an old hermit that lived in the mountains. He got the answers to his three questions through his own actions without the hermit telling him the answers.

His questions were; 
1} If he always knew the right time to begin everything?
2} If he knew who were the right people to listen to and whom to avoid?
3} If he always knew what was the important thing to do?
As simple as these questions looked, the answers are not. We would all come out with different answers just as the king's three wise men did, and he disagreed with them. 

He eventually got the answer to his first question by helping the hermit who was working on his garden without being asked to, regardless of his status as a king, though he disguised himself. He saw a wounded man, emerged from the bushes, he helped him to bandage his wounds and told his personal physician to attend to him, he later found out the wounded man was a brother to his enemy whom he ordered to be executed, he forgave him and restored the family wealth to him, which answered his third question. Then the hermit told him, he has shown kindness and forgiveness, which answered his questions. Oh wait! It remained the second question right? By now you must have guessed the answer to it ... him going to seek out the hermit in the first place!

So my dear readers, what are your own answers to these three questions? 

Friday, September 25, 2015

I DEY GDIGBAM!

Hey! My pipo! I dey hail unah o! { Greetings to everyone}. It's been a very busy week! My baby is teething, {back molars}, he is cranky, crying, clingy, and itching! He is asleep now, so I decided to drop in and let you guys know that I am very much around, and have not done any of my disappearing act! Ahahaha. I dey gdigbam! I enjoy blogging, and I don't see myself stopping even when I tried in the past, it has become a hobby to me. Thank you to all my readers and commenters. 

Okay! Today, I am gonna complain about a particular attitude some Nigerians have! E no dey tire me to talk about our pipo o jare!  Imagine! Someone sent a message from 9ja that we should send her $200, JUST LIKE THAT! Nope! It is not her first time, we have obliged her in the past. We told her we were flat broke, and explained about our new apartment, kids resuming school,  and more utility bills. Guess what she said next, ..... come on, guess, ...................,' we are bigger than that!' W-H-A-T!!!!!!! If only people know how these words pisses me off ehen! Bigger than wetin??? Than $200??? That is #50k! So, you can just walk in to any friend's or relative's house and ask to be given, NOT lend such amount, as if you gave them to keep somewhere??

You see, I no dey tire to dey use these two words sef? ahahaha This is one of the phrases our pipo use, to kind of blackmail you to do something for them! Because when they say,'you are bigger than something,' it is a praise-insult! Lemme coin the words together and call it 'praisult'! It is a way to shame or embarrass someone, that the person will be forced to give or agree with them! This particular person, spent her money on her lover and is asking us, with our brukata, to bail her out! Because she don see mugu ke!  It was the same way, another friend asked us to help pay $200 for a conference he was coming to,of course, we refused, because hubby has helped in the past through his domiciliary account in Nigeria, and they never paid back! If you can buy ticket to come here, you can pay 'common' $200 ke! Abi no be so my pipo?

$200, looks like #2,000 to our pipo back home, that is why they can ask for it, just like that! The truth is that, Nigerians are very generous people,  they give out such amount, even more, for lunch and bus fare when you go and greet them in their homes or offices. My hubby worked in a bank when In Nigeria, he received visitors many times in a week, and he gave out between #2k-#50k to individuals depending on what they told him. Infact, one of them was saying how he missed my hubby, that he knows, where he can run to, when he is hard -up. Hubby told him, it is not same as usual. $1, makes a lot of difference here o! Hubby later learnt that some were simply sob stories to extort money from him! ahahaha. One day I will gist you the stories. I quarreled several times with him that these people were taking advantage of his kindness, and simply saw him as a means to an end, but he didn't believe me, until he caught one of them red-handed! 

I don't want to bore you guys with so much talking. It's 11:51am, lemme go and prepare my breakfast before my little oga will wake up. Have a lovely weekend everyone ... CHAI! He is awake ooo. Bye!

Saturday, September 12, 2015

SIMPLY CREATIVE!

I love hair accessories! I always decorated my daughters' hair with beads and ribbons, now that they are teenagers, they have outgrown it.  My 14 year old likes hair bands and purple colour, while my 12 year old likes hair combs and pink colours. I buy the hair accessories from dollar and beauty shops, but I wanted something entirely different from the basics. I then, remembered my 41st birthday gift! 


Hair bands, bangles, earrings and combs


https://ediyemade.com/2014/09/21/breathless-and-a-whole-lot-of-ankara/

Phoenix J, surprised me with a hair band, bow and pin! I contacted her to make some for my girls. She told me the prices, by the time, I negotiated with her as a typical 9ja woman, she didn't know when she shouted NITTY!!! Before nko?! I honed my haggling skill with baba Lasisi the meat seller ke! She gave a beautiful hair pin to my daughter when she celebrated her 14th birthday last month. It is appreciated, J. #hugs#

I so admire her! She is creative!  She makes a lot of stuff from Africa materials, braids hair and a good cook! I wonder, where I waka go when all these talents were shared!  
Thank you for reading and have a nice week ahead. And welcome to Texas J! :D 

Monday, September 07, 2015

THE CREDIT LIFE

 Workers are at home enjoying their holiday today, well not all! The dollar shop close to me is opened and of course grocery stores and essential services. This is the right time to talk about credit since it is about income earners today.

You see, when I first heard about the credit palava, I was like; 'Why get credit  card when you have your debit card? I came from a country where you pay cash for everything! So, we declined to get a credit card. It was when we were told we had no credit ratings when we wanted to lease an apartment and buy a car, it dawned on us that we must get it by force by fire! So hubby got it and joined my name to his account to curtail our spendings while I had debit with my own account.



It is enjoyable to spend money you are yet to earn o! To pay back, that is where the trouble begins! The gbese (debt) many income earners are in ehen! No be small thing! A guy said that when his gebese got to $10k, he hid his credit cards to avoid temptation and was spending his debit and paying back his credit gradually. Some credits are fried! Some credit information are stolen! This is why banks and individuals are very alert and cautious. I went shopping with one of our credit cards and it was declined! I called hubby who traveled. He was also using the same credit card,  and we have passed the agreed limit! I had to go back home to get the second credit card while he called the bank.  


Let me use this analogy to explain how some income earners behave; A $500 debit card was given to two friends each to purchase a washing machine. One of them bought $400 worth and saved $100. While the other bought $700, taking a credit of $200 from the shop with a promissory note to pay within a certain time or the item will be collected back. She was not able to meet the deadline and ran to her friend, for help, the friend refused. Some income earners live above their means and expects to be bailed out by friends. There is someone I know, who is no longer credit worthy, and is paying back a huge chunk from paycheck, this individual asked for our help to offset a debt, incurred again, which we refused, explaining we were on a tight budget. Can you believe, this person is no longer friendly on social platform? HABA! We are a large family living prudently, not because, we don't know what we want, but simply buy what we need!


Dear ALL income earners, as I wish you a happy labour's day, PLEASE,  live within your income! You DON'T have to be like the Jones! Having credit is helpful but also hurtful, when not well managed! HAPPY LABOR'S DAY!!! YE-HAW!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

YANKEE GOD IS DIFFERENT FROM 9JA GOD.

My pipo, I have observed one thing o! Nigerian Christians in yankee have their own 'god' that is understanding, than the GOD they worshiped back home! Yes o! Their 'god' understand they have to get legit and are allowed to do anything to achieve that! I am not trying to be insensitive here, afterall, I have not removed the big log in my own eyes, before I can see and remove the tiny speck in theirs. My own is that they should just maintain their own lane, and don't come 'preachy' to me!!! And we wonder why some diaspora become unbelievers after relocating? It has nothing to do with the western society, but we, we!

There is absolutely nothing new I want to say on this matter because you have probably heard it all! But it still amazes me though! These same people will be forming 'spirit-filled' in forums! When I read some comments and posts, I just waka comot, because, the lies brekete! NIGERIAN CHURCHES IN DIASPORA DO NOT PREACH AGAINST SUCH 'SINS'!!! It has become a norm! Their 'god' will understand. Yet! They will be the same people to SCREAM about other sins! Is sin different from sin, my guys?

I  do hear some Nigerians say that GOD hates divorce, but in diaspora, it is okay for them to divorce their non-Nigerian spouses after getting what they want! So it is only your Nigerian spouse, your 'god' says you should not divorce abi? TAAA!!!

A guy once jokingly said that, the first rule of survival for any Nigerian immigrant, is to become born-again, be active in church, and become a pastor if you wish. That is why the stories one hears, makes one jaw drop to the floor, AYAKATA!!!


Monday, August 24, 2015

RESUMPTION DAY!

Schools resumed today. I am at home with my 19 months son, who is sleeping, so I decided to log in before he wakes up and start looking for his siblings. He had 3 months fun at home with them, and he's sure gonna miss them until they come back from school. School buses were picking kids from different corners, there was this nostalgia feeling in the air, maybe because it is the first day after a long summer. The house is quiet now, except for the radio that is on, I am missing the noise already.

They posed for photos.
The pic didn't do them justice



While waiting with my daughter for her school bus, I saw my neighbour who walks her dogs by 7:00am and 5:00pm daily. I have fallen in love with these big, well groomed white furry beauties! I am usually scared of big dogs and I am not a pet lover, but I can't help loving these friendly dogs, who always wants to be scratched behind their ears. They were rescue dogs, she has 5 of them! Looking at them, shows the lot of TLC she pours on them. Hubby likes dogs, and has been wanting to get one since in Nigeria, but I refused! Infact, in 2008, he bought a puppy for #20k, from a friend who breeds Alsatian dogs, by the time, I gave him a piece of my mind, and told him the number of anakara wrappers I could have bought from that money, he gave it out!  As he saw my interest in these dogs, he was suggesting of getting one, the side-eye I gave him ehn! I told him, loving does not mean having it! Who has the energy and time to be grooming, walking and visiting vets? 


During the school registration, and 'meet the teachers night' parents were advised against the dangers of social  platform for teenagers and the school will not be held liable for any student's comment or altercation between themselves on any social platform. And they applauded parents who refused their children to be part of any of the social platforms until they become adults. My daughters have phones, and we did not allow them to have face book accounts! I watched a video where a guy uses fake name and picture to lure out teenagers as young as 12 year old to meet him. He will inform their parents who will be there with him to see if truly their daughters fell for the trap. THEY ALL DID!!! GOD help we parents o! 

Have a blessed week ahead. Off to prepare breakfast :D

Monday, August 17, 2015

SCHOOL SUPPLIES

4:52am 
Good morning everyone! It's being a very busy week for me. Schools are resuming next week, so got my kids registered in their new schools, bought their supplies and will start braiding my daughters' hair today, it usually takes me 2 days ...  I will finish on Thursday ... hopefully.

Talking about school supplies, I came across comments in facebook where parents talked about it. Many complained about the increase in the supply list, that schools are now indirectly shifting the expense to parents, because, their budgets have been reduced. NOPE! There are no text books to be bought, schools provides that. The school supplies are; Note books, pencils, biros pens, ruled sheets, crayons, hand sanitizers, clorox wipes, ziplocs,  kleneex, erasers, highlighters, sharpies, construction papers, binders, folders, glue, scientific calculator  etc. A particular commenter said, in her days, all she took to school was a pencil and note book, the rest was provided by the school. It all depends on the grade and city the schools are located and the prices ranges from 25cents.

source

Coming from a country where public school is nothing to write home about, which makes most parents to enroll their children in private schools, what we spend on supplies is so much compared to the list here! We buy the textbooks and note books from schools who are supplied by publishing companies. These textbooks cannot be handed -down because, they make sure some writings are done inside or the school will change the publishers! 


Nevertheless, schools here have their own supplies which they give students who don't have any or enough. Teachers also buy supplies from their own personal pockets to help his/her class. NO child is penalized if they don't have any supplies. The teacher will simply give the child from his/her stock! I appreciate the teachers effort.

I am on the fence regarding the discussion because, where I came from, it is solely the parents responsibility  to provide everything. I appreciate the help from the school. Also, a family with plenty children like 3-6, will spend more, which I understand,  especially when living on a tight budget or low income. Money has value here and is very appreciated! $20, can go a long way to buy a week's grocery for an individual. I have simply learnt to buy the needful, because, at the end of the academic year, every child is given back their supplies both used and un-used, and I observed that some notebooks were barely used! The children end up using it for scribbling. I got a few tips from the discussion also, like not giving all the supplies at once to the kids to school, rather keep at home and give as requested.

Have a stress-free week people.

Friday, August 07, 2015

I AM SNITCHING!

GOD be praised! We eventually moved into our new home on August 1st. The eighth month signifies a new beginning, a new year in RCCG calendar, and it is also my eldest daughter's birth month. LOOK! #pointing# I also changed my template and profile ... nay, I am not gonna change my blog name ... again, don't worry! ahaha.

 I sorted everything out yesterday, and went visiting my favourite entertainment blog to read all I missed, and I came across a request from a woman asking for help for her sister who wants to come to Texas, to birth her child, and I was like; Hey! I already have this topic in my draft! The idea came to me a day before we moved, because of a complaint I heard from a friend. A commenter, replied her, again ... the same opinion, I expressed in my post! Here was what I wrote on July 30th, which I titled, I HAVE TO SNITCH ON THIS!

my drafts


My dear fellow Nigerian women, please, if you are planning to come to USA, to have your baby, it is a very good idea and I will  advise anybody who can afford it, to do so. B-U-T, work out your logistics well, before boarding the plane! 

What are the logistics? Apart from the hospital and cost of delivery, your accommodation and feeding are also paramount! Listen! Don't just take for granted you have people here that will help you with that! HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR HOST? If you are directly related to your host, as a sibling, it is okay, but if you are a family friend, or a friend through a friend, or a distant relative, please, this post is specially for you!

Our Nigeria culture, expects us to welcome, accommodate and entertain guest, with the best we have in our homes, make them comfortable throughout their stay, and when they are leaving, give them a farewell gift, either cash or clothing or foodstuff. The guest is not expected to contribute a kobo . THIS IS NOT so in yankee! It is a different culture entirely! They don't believe in enabling people! As a guest, staying for a long time, you are expected to pull your own weight without being asked, by buying groceries and paying part of the utility bills. 


You see, since it is not our culture, some women don't know, and they expect their host to cater for them throughout the 3-5 months stay, while they use their own money for personal shopping. My fellow Nigerian women, your hosts are complaining! They are not happy with you and cannot wait to see you out of their apartment or house! Especially, when they made your stay very comfortable by vacating a room for you, driving you to your doctor's appointments, stay with you during delivery, help with the sleepless nights nursing your baby, take your baby for immunization, and yet, you cannot use your initiative to appreciate all their efforts in a little way? Rather, you be going on shopping spree? HABA!!!

'Why snitch on my fellow diaspora women?' Some, might be asking abi?  It is not because, I am amebo o, {me ke?! #throwaway face#} It is to help some of my fellow Nigerian women coming here to deliver, to prepare well financially, because, if you have to stay in a hotel or lease a bedroom apartment for short-term, you will know how much you will spend! And you need people around to help you with the baby, because, you have to rest.

Here are my suggestions, which I compiled through a friend who has traveled several times and delivered abroad, also from host's complains, and my own discretion;

1} When coming to stay with your host, please, don't come empty handed. Bring well-dried soup ingredients/foodstuff. It is 'gold' here. And DON'T overstay your welcome!

2}When you arrive, after the first 2 weeks, you will have understood the routine of your host by then, so when she goes grocery shopping, insist on paying, if she says no, put the cash in her hand or envelope when she likely expects it.

3}Whenever you go out for your personal shopping, buy groceries also, it does not need to be much or expensive; milk, egg, bread, sausage, cookies and ice cream. 

4}You can ask them to order pizza or take them out for burger once a month on your expense, or just give the children or host a treat.

5} Help with the cooking and cleaning in the home. PLEASE DO NOT INTERFERE IN THEIR CHILDREN'S UPBRINGING OR AFFAIRS, mingle, gist, joke, interact, but mind your business! DON'T behave like a stranger. It makes your host uncomfortable.

6} It is not that you should feed the house or turn to a maid O! It is just an act of appreciation. And, of course, you have to pay for your own laundry if they don't have washing machine at home. Sometimes, buy gas in the car.

7} If your husband comes to visit you after birth, he should get a good gift for the man of the house, because, he is playing his role of looking after you, in his absence.

It is not that your host is wicked or stingy or she is asking for too much, as some Nigerians will be very quick to say , it is just that your host will be making some sacrifices without you knowing! Time is money here! And any extra expenditure from your host's budgeted expenses, falls into credit! 

All the same, there is always an exception to every rule. Some hosts are also a pain in the a$$! Some have 'you-are-on-your-own-attitude' and won't bother to stock the home with food or stylishly ask for money, or even borrow from guest without paying back! Or shift the home expenses on the guest!

 Please, don't get angry if your request to be hosted by a friend or relative is turned down, because, some people are barely at home because of the nature of their job or they don't have the financial power to host yet or they don't have spare room to lodge you in! Abi, you will sleep in the parlour with a baby? 

The BOTTOM-LINE  is; Be financially well prepared!

Thank you for reading and have a wonderful weekend.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

FACE BOOK LIKES

Phew! Decided to take a breather and rest my limbs today. Few days time, all utilities will be disconnected! I went on blog run and face book visiting, which reminded me that, I am yet to talk about my ish with fb likes; I came across a R.I.P message, and some people were liking it! I was, like, hey, wait a moment! You are not suppose to like sad news! Rather, you COMMENT! But I saw several likes and ONLY ONE COMMENT! 

It surely confuses, amazes and puzzles me why people like anything! I know it is to show support, but not for 'grievous news!' IMO!  Celebrations, inspirational quotes, pictures and jokes, YES, LIKE THEM ALL! But on the other hand, some people want to use the sad news to gather likes, by saying it in an 'aww-ing' way. Why will some people like pictures of accident scenes and victims huh?

I was a passive participant in face book when I opened it in 2010, until, I became active in 2014. Later, the excitement began to worn off,  because, I got bored with the cliche quotes and pictures. I only became excited during discussion. Talking of boredom, I want to change my blog template, getting tired of it! Also, looking for the right profile picture.

Some are silent watchers who only come out of their 'shell' during birthday celebrations.That is to show solidarity. Hence, I thought that was the norm, when I became active.  So, when I got about 10 likes when celebrating, I wondered, who were the 160 friends I have? That was when, I took a good look at ALL my friends, and realized I didn't know many of them at all! I edited it to 40 people! With time, it might get lesser! 

There are many reasons why people add someone as a friend. Some do, because they genuinely like you. Some, because, they want to know what you are up to. Some, because, you are a sibling to their friend or spouse. Some, because, they just want to increase their number of friends. Some, because they are related. In 2010, I simply accepted friendship requests, without knowing the person, because, I thought, they knew me either through my siblings or spouse or school. But in 2014 till date, I simply accept because I know you. I have sent friend requests to few also, when I am very sure I want them in my inner circle.

 I have been unfriended by a cousin because I made the error, of trying to help her correct the 'mistake' face book made about her birth-date. I have also unfriended a few because, I observed that they were simply 'monitoring spirits' who were always in the shadow! Face book has it's own 'politics' as blogsville does. And, we all know that when it comes to politics, there is no permanent foe or friend, just self interest! 

OK! guys! That is my ish with Fb likes! Enjoy the remaining week days ahead, I will update, in 2 weeks time, hopefully, when I have settled in and found my rhythm again. Thank you for reading.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

THEM SAY, THEM SAY ...

I went to pick my package from the office which was dropped by the mail man when nobody was at home. I saw a couple who came to search for an apartment. As, I walked away with my package, they called out to me, and asked about the apartments. I gave them good report. They were surprised because, the review on the website gave only 2 stars and there were complaints about the walls being too thin. I told them, I was not aware of that, I like the apartments and the management. Unlike from my former place of abode, the manager was cold!

You see, 'them say, them say' ... many atimes are wrong! Few times they are right! When we wanted to relocate, we had two options, New Jersey or Texas. The comments on Texas, discouraged us; 'Oh! There are too many Nigerians there! Oh! It is too hot over there! Oh! Racism is not subtle there!' So, we chose New Jersey, since it was close to New York. Eventually, we had to move to Texas! And, I tell you people, 4 Nigerian families have moved down to Texas because of our review! 


Does that mean, the people were not truthful? They were! They simply based their opinion on their experience! This is why, I always say, what works for Mr A, might not work for Mr B! This applies to all phases of life! Be it friendship, career, academic, marriage, and family. Not one size fits all!!! So, when you hear, 'them say this, them say that', still have an open mind. PLEASE, it does not mean that when you are told 'fire' is dangerous, you still doubt and go and put your hand inside to see if it is true!

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