Friday, December 05, 2014

DEAREST DAUGHTER {a short sequel}


My Dearest Daughter,
                                    I read your e-mail with excitement! I am glad you have found someone of interest in your life.  I know you are an adult but remember all that I wrote to you on your 18th birthday huh? Please, before, you commit yourself totally into this relationship, I want you to find out some important fact about your new found love, because, who knows, the relationship might lead to the altar, so be prepared.

                                 What tribe is he from? I am asking because, of culture. You see, every tribe do have a peculiar custom, which you might not like, but must adhere to, if married to a man from there! This can cause friction in the relationship, if you don't obey. I know, we have evolved from the archaic age to civilization, but seeds had been sown over the years, and the trees are still producing fruits! If you doubt me, why do we still hear discriminatory words about all tribes? Afterall, our fore-fathers who started all these have long left this realm, but the practices still continued, even after the coming of religion! Which is to tell you that, culture is used as a controlling and correcting tool! Do you know that in a tribe, a husband can give his wife out to keep a special guest company in his home? Or Agama lizard prepared for a new mother to eat? What of Female Genital Mutilation that is still practiced in some tribes, regardless of the awareness  of the dangers it involves? So, send me the name of his tribe, and I will ask people from similar tribe to tell me the good and bad cultural practices, you can ask for opinion from any online forum of your choice.

                                     What faith does he practice? Our society believes a woman has no religion, but to follow whichever her husband practices. Think deep and discuss  in details with him to know his stand. Ask yourself, are you ready to comprise to his own faith? The decision is solely yours to make, because salvation is personal. But I will truly appreciate it, if you continue in the faith I brought you up with, because, each faith comes with it's own beliefs and challenges. If he is of the same faith with you, then where does he worship? I ask, because, I have seen situation, where a wife don't want to worship in the same place with her husband, until she was forced!

                                       Does he earn a steady monthly income? I am not asking how much he earns or how rich?, rather is it regular? I am not talking about having many 'irons' in the fire, but his 'irons' are already hot and cast! Money matters in a relationship! Don't be deceived by what you read and watch! When there is a steady income into the home, you both can spend within your budget! Remember, how I taught you to be prudent and always save for the rainy days. I will not encourage you to be a SAHM, nor be the breadwinner! Don't go showing you can do it all, because he might relax on his responsibilities! Simply use your discretion to know where to draw the line! Now, don't go all wifey on him, by doing all his chores at home! Whenever you visit, assist if you find him doing his chores, cook sometimes when you are hungry or not going out for dinner, but don't ever take it as your responsibility to look after him, until he puts a ring on your finger! Men see it as a desperate act! Never! Never! You move in with him, until he does the right thing!

                                     The most important question, I want to ask is; What's his genotype? You know, you are AS, so your future spouse must be AA! This should be the first question that should always come to your mind when on the first date! I believe in prevention is better than cure! You are educated and enlightened to know the implications of marrying someone in future with similar genotype. Again, don't be carried away with technology, testimonies of people or faith talk, because, I do not believe in tempting the LORD our GOD! Will you see fire and willingly go and put your hands inside simply because you know, you can be cured? You own your future children the obligation of keeping them healthy! Afterall, they did not ask to be born! Are you not happy living a healthy life? Why then will you think of subjecting your own flesh and blood to years of endless pains because of your love, which might not stand the pressure and financial burden when the crisis starts! Remember when you had fever; You cried and prayed for quick recovery? Imagine, putting a child through that all the days of his or her life!
                                  My dearest daughter, these are the questions, I want you to ponder on, and arrive at the answers before you commit yourself fully into this new relationship, because it is always difficult to break off later when you find out, there are irreconcilable differences! Like I said before in your 18th birthday letter, love ain't enough to keep a relationship going, neither sex! But, a lot of factors as I mentioned above. Take care my dear, I will always be praying for you.
Loving hugs.

                                                                                        Yours Momma.