Friday, October 31, 2014


The environment one grows up from, shapes his/her perspective to life and how they handle different issues that confronts them. Ever since, I crossed the 7 seas to berth on the land of liberty and brave, my perspective to some issues have taken a 360 degree turn! The society, I found myself teaches one to respect boundaries, and some things are privileges and not rights! 

Last month, my neigbour's son celebrated his birthday; A bouncing castle was mounted outside, while the celebrant and other children were all playing outside. 

They rushed into the bouncing castle, jumping, sliding and squealing with excitement. Later, the other children left after an adult from the celebrant's apartment went to meet them, and it was deflated immediately, until their guests began to arrive and it was inflated back. Instinctively, I knew, what it was all about! Was I surprised? Absolutely not! Why? Because I have come to understand the society I now live; You do not encroach on other people's space!  If it was back home, this happened, the parents of the other children would not be happy with the celebrants!

One evening, my AA neighbour asked us to do her a problem we said... but when she told us, it's to drive her to pick a car her relative bought for her in a dealer's shop, we hesitated...she assured us the car was paid and insured for...but we politely declined because we were trying to be careful. Did she get angry? NO! She said, she understood, and that didn't stop her friendliness towards us. I was impressed! Because if it was a fellow Nigerian, she would have behaved otherwise! Remember, this story? It made me realized that, being friends, does not mean, we should take things for granted!

I have come to understand better, the concept of marriage! It is so different from how it is portrayed back home! The husbands here wants their wives to enjoy their marriage! Though, they are not so religious like we Nigerians, they practice and understand the term 'helpmate'... and not disguising 'servitude' with the word  ... 'submissive'! The reason divorce is high is because of  infidelity...the wives can't condone or forgive such betrayal!

Personally, I had never hidden my intolerance for un-invited guests, and I was teased and cussed out sometimes. But coming here,  it made me realized that, I was not weird in any way but just simply being mee! So I always call ahead before any visit.  I was impressed that 2 Nigerians from European country, came visiting a mutual friend of ours, and made reservations in a hotel. But a fellow Nigerian came from another state within US to visit this same mutual friend, but refused to stay in a hotel! Rather, he slept in his host tiny apartment!Of course, they complained!

Finally, I don't see being a housewife as a shameful thing again! Back home, I kept that info to myself when in a public gathering, because of the looks and snide remarks. Many Nigerians see housewives as lazy! Here, we are called stay-at-home-mum {SAHM} or home makers, because they appreciate the sacrifice, and child-care is not cheap, unlike back home. Thus, I wear my SAHM badge with pride!

Happy November month ahead people!  :D