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Friday, October 31, 2014


The environment one grows up from, shapes his/her perspective to life and how they handle different issues that confronts them. Ever since, I crossed the 7 seas to berth on the land of liberty and brave, my perspective to some issues have taken a 360 degree turn! The society, I found myself teaches one to respect boundaries, and some things are privileges and not rights! 

Last month, my neigbour's son celebrated his birthday; A bouncing castle was mounted outside, while the celebrant and other children were all playing outside. 

They rushed into the bouncing castle, jumping, sliding and squealing with excitement. Later, the other children left after an adult from the celebrant's apartment went to meet them, and it was deflated immediately, until their guests began to arrive and it was inflated back. Instinctively, I knew, what it was all about! Was I surprised? Absolutely not! Why? Because I have come to understand the society I now live; You do not encroach on other people's space!  If it was back home, this happened, the parents of the other children would not be happy with the celebrants!

One evening, my AA neighbour asked us to do her a problem we said... but when she told us, it's to drive her to pick a car her relative bought for her in a dealer's shop, we hesitated...she assured us the car was paid and insured for...but we politely declined because we were trying to be careful. Did she get angry? NO! She said, she understood, and that didn't stop her friendliness towards us. I was impressed! Because if it was a fellow Nigerian, she would have behaved otherwise! Remember, this story? It made me realized that, being friends, does not mean, we should take things for granted!

I have come to understand better, the concept of marriage! It is so different from how it is portrayed back home! The husbands here wants their wives to enjoy their marriage! Though, they are not so religious like we Nigerians, they practice and understand the term 'helpmate'... and not disguising 'servitude' with the word  ... 'submissive'! The reason divorce is high is because of  infidelity...the wives can't condone or forgive such betrayal!

Personally, I had never hidden my intolerance for un-invited guests, and I was teased and cussed out sometimes. But coming here,  it made me realized that, I was not weird in any way but just simply being mee! So I always call ahead before any visit.  I was impressed that 2 Nigerians from European country, came visiting a mutual friend of ours, and made reservations in a hotel. But a fellow Nigerian came from another state within US to visit this same mutual friend, but refused to stay in a hotel! Rather, he slept in his host tiny apartment!Of course, they complained!

Finally, I don't see being a housewife as a shameful thing again! Back home, I kept that info to myself when in a public gathering, because of the looks and snide remarks. Many Nigerians see housewives as lazy! Here, we are called stay-at-home-mum {SAHM} or home makers, because they appreciate the sacrifice, and child-care is not cheap, unlike back home. Thus, I wear my SAHM badge with pride!

Happy November month ahead people!  :D

Tuesday, October 21, 2014


Relocating to yankee? Here are few tips for you from my little experience; #long
post alert#

The kind of  host a relocat-ee  stays with, would determine how fast s/he would settle down in yankee. Some host have little or no info about some facts, thus, going around in circle. Or some host don't want to share some important info they learnt from a bitter /hard experience, thus, wants his/her guest to go through the same thing! Some host wants to take advantage of the naivety of a JJC to his/her benefits! Hence, every relocat-ee MUST do some basic research before leaving the shores of their father's land.

First, if a relocat-ee, have several options of where to stay in yankee, before filling out the contact of a host on the form, please go online and find out facts about that state, especially the employment rate! What I mean is that; If you have a relative and friend in Ohio and NY, google out the cost of living, how fast can one get a job in both states and compare. Go to forums like Nairaland and ask questions. But if you have only an option, no problem, go there with the mindset that, you can move to another state if your host state is not favourable to you. 

Research on how to prepare Resume/CV. Like I said in an older post, yankee employers don't like stories! Simply go straight to the point! Back home, the more the pages of your CV, shows how experienced you are and high chances of getting the job. Not so here! A page is enough for anybody with less than 10 years experience! 2 pages for more than 10 years experience. Each CV is written to suit a particular job requirement, because employers look out for some key words, and if missing, the computer system is programmed to take it to trash! So you might end up having several CVs, because one CV cannot be used to apply for different jobs as done back home. Thus, have a good filing system, to know which CV you used for a particular vacancy, so when called, you won't be confused. Like I said in an older post, whatever your story is, stick to it!

While back home before relocating, learn how to DRIVE! Ladies, learn how to braid, fix and cut hair, likewise men should know how to cut their hair themselves. DIY is a norm here, to save cost. Ladies, if possible, learn how to operate a sewing machine to patch clothes or fix new zips, especially if you have kids, because you would end up throwing away clothes everytime there is a little incident, because the cost of repairing a torn cloth, is as good as adding money and buying another, that is if you find an African that sews in your area! Still on clothes, PLEASE DON'T THROW AWAY OR DASH OUT ALL YOUR CLOTHES and FOOTWEARS with the intention of shopping here. Because, you are not coming as a tourist, but to live here, hence, you MUST be very prudent! Simply buy the basics like winter clothings and footwears.

Bring a reasonable amount of money! When relocating, it's not time to do father xmas for people back home. Quietly do your preparation, converting all your money. Because, no amount of Millions of Naira you convert to dollars, would be enough! Especially if you have kids, because your host would expect you to take care of your expenses after  few days or a week in his home or contribute to the upkeep. Now, this is where taking advantage comes in! If some host knows how much brought in, they would make sure you deplete that money and be at their mercy! No! I am not exaggerating or being mischievous! Some Diasporas are the s***! One told me it is done out of envy, so that the relocat-ee would suffer some hardship as they did! Another told me, he had to send his money back home, when his host is always complaining of no money, while he continuously foots the bill at home.  Another said, his host discouraged him to get his own apartment because he was the one paying most of the bills! So, after getting your #SSN few weeks of arrival open an account immediately! Please, don't tell nobody the total cash your brought in, no matter what! If it's above $10k, declare it at the customs as the rule says.
Getting an apartment is the next agenda on arrival. I explained it here. Let me add that  relocat-ee should google about the crime rate in the area and the ranking of schools. You see, public schools are rated accordingly, and it usually determines where families  finally settle down.  If Single or no kids yet, then don't bother, simply avoid areas that have high crime rate. I observed that any district that schools are located or nursing homes, that place is very safe. More-ever, don't go furnishing your homes with all gadgets, a new job can determine if you would move or not! So getting a U-Haul, and travelling on road to another city or state can be tiring. So, buy the basics; Mattress, bedsheets, blankets, few utensils for cooking and eating. Curtains for window if no blinds. A man said he and his family slept on duvets laid on the floor for many months before he bought mattress because they were saving their cash. One said, it is not advisable to completely furnish an apartment, because, you might end up throwing away most of the stuff when moving. Which is true, because I do see a lot of household items by the garbage site, some people pick the items they need. So a relocat-ee should manage as much as possible, until s/he knows and decides to settle down finally in a particular state or city.

This is my advise to couples with kids. PLEASE, be mindful of whom you pick as friends. Some make friends because of the benefits they would get from you. keep ALL important info to yourselves, your #SSN, Passwords, Pin numbers. Guys are not smiling here o! Identity theft is a big issue here. PLEASE, don't take decisions that would affect your children in future, no matter what!

I have so much to talk about, but would stop, so as not to make this post tiring. Any thing a reloct-ee wants to know is at the tips of their! Please be careful of scammers! Ok! Bye-bye.

Sunday, October 19, 2014


We make friends as we embark on this journey called life, and some friends have become close like sisters. It is not different in the virtual life either, where we make blogger-friends, who later become blogger-sistahs. I have found another one in Phoenix 'J'. Thank you sistah, for this awesome acknowledgement from you as a fellow blogger-sistah. She is curious to know if I have ever been in a situation I couldn’t control? How did I get out of it? If I was in a situation I couldn’t control, how would I handle it? Of course, the odds were/are definitely against me.

Yes, I was in such a situation few years ago. It was really a trying period for me. Some days I cried, some days I vented, some days I talked about it to my confidante. And  I spoke to GOD. Then I simply let it be, and ride with the tide and see where it would take me to, and let time begin the healing process.

My blogger-sistahs are; Sting, Sykik, Abiola, 9jamum and DOHK. I know 9jamum and DOHK are MIA, but I just want them to know I consider them as sistahs and miss them. So whenever, they decide to blog again, they owe me answer to my question; If you have an opportunity to change something about your physical features and Character, which would it be?
Have a blessed week ahead.

Monday, October 13, 2014


This is all about MOI!

Well! Ms Cookie wants you all to know 20 random things about moi! Thank you dearie. Hmmm, do I have up to 20? #thinking and ticking them off on my fingers and toes# I would cheat with My 7's and Phoenix liebster Q&A.  

Here goes! #excited#

1}I am an introvert. I know how to entertain myself by reading, writing and watching movies. Comedies and detective dramas are my favourites.

2}I seldom listen to the radio, but I like playing music. P-square is my fav  9ja artiste, also, Don Williams, Kenny Rogers and ABBA. Y-e-a-h! I know! Am old school!

3}I don't like visiting, and don't like people visiting too much either! I prefer the 'August visitors', because I know there is a specific reason for coming out. All these I-just-come-visit-guests, irks me! Siddon for ya house!

4}I am not an event-goer! I can attend the obligatory naming and birthday ceremonies. I would rather have a personal or family outing.

5}I enjoy re-arranging items and furnitures in my home, and throwing away stuff I don't use much, because I dislike clutter!

6}I like preparing easy and quick meals. I doff my hat for women who come up with new recipes and stay long in the kitchen o.

7}Black, brown, gold and silver are the only colours I like picking when buying foot wears and bags. For clothes, I go for darker colours.

8}I don't like noodles, coke, chocolate, candy, and bubble gum.

9}Banana and Pineapple are my favourite fruits.

10}OH YEAH! I LOVE vanilla cake!

11}I can be honest to a fault sometimes and few-times I shot myself on my foot! And do I learn from it? N-A-Y!!! A loved one once told me I should have a limit, so that my words don't come back to bite me! LORD help me!

12}I am easily contented. Am not difficult to please at all! Simple things gives me satisfaction and pleasure.

13}I prefer eating from plastic plates and cups, my friend complained taya! I would try for few days to use breakable plates, but revert back!

14}I am not a make-up person. But I apply only mascara and eye shadow when I attend an event.

15}I like short wigs with fringe.

16}When I make a friend, I stay loyal to such a friend until I read the hand writing on the wall, and I go back into my shell.
17}I know many would not believe this next one I am about to say, due to my precedent.....I am not confrontational! 'Yeah right?' I can hear the whispers o...ahahha. I can take a longer path just to avoid trouble, but if the trouble comes across my path, that is when I bare my fangs. Why? Because I know when angry, I lash out, not caring where I hit! Until the damage it's done, and I become remorseful. I dislike such feelings, thus, I walk away or keep silent.

18}Do you know that, I don't care about bling-bling or studs? And I am not materialistic at all! This is not because I am not earning an income, it's a thing in me friends and loved ones have noticed and wondered what kind of person I am! One time, my mum bought a tiny  gold purse from her friend who traveled to dubai for my birthday, I gave it out! Mum was livid! I apologized, but since then, she came to understand me better.

19}I like down to earth people! And people with humour. Because, I tease and joke a lot with my loved ones. So I feel awkward with people that are too serious, moody or evasive.

20}I am not the romantic type! I don't coo or swoon over flowers and the whatsnot! Truly speaking, I don't understand the teddy bear, chocolate and cards display of love. And talking of cards, please, use the #50 or #100 to buy something useful for me instead, then use your mouth to tell me your feelings. I don't like PDA!!!!! My hubby had to adjust when he saw I was too blunt to a fault! When I want something, I simply ask! When I want to buy a present, I go for something he would use and not design a plague or card!

Ok! My guys! You've got my 20's! And I am interested to know 20 facts about  Sting, Abiola, Phoenix, Yankee4life . OOPS!  It's 11:52a.m Gat to weave my gals hair. Today is a public holiday; Columbus day! Have a fulfilled week ahead y'all. 

Thursday, October 09, 2014


Humph! Another gbege don shele for our 9ja community o! A lover recorded their 'act' un-knowningly to his married female lover whose first child is in college, and
shared it with his friends. It eventually got to the woman and her family, nah so kasala burst o! The woman is suicidal now as I hear. 'Why did he do it?' I asked. Black-mail? Revenge? Spite?

Sunday, October 05, 2014


Remembered, I talked about food management in a previous post? Consider dish washing as a sequel. As petty this sounds, I have heard about quarrels
it has caused. This is a task carried out mostly by females and few males in Nigeria. I have observed 2 different routines:

There is a routine, where all plates are gathered after a meal, and only a member of the family would clean the dishes. Now, the member could be the eldest or youngest, or the person in charge of kitchen affairs, or whose turn to wash for that particular day. What I don't like about this method is that, after the dishes are washed, someone might use a cup or plate and leave it in the sink for the person in charge to come and wash! This is so annoying, especially, if the person whose turn it was, went out, and came back to see a pile of dirty dishes waiting for him/her to wash! My second dislike is that dishes would be placed haphazardly in the sink! And if not washed quickly, it is invitation to roaches! What about the smell from left overs?

The second routine is wash as you eat! Every member washes their plates immediately after use! Except dishes used by the parents, which is washed by the person who clears the table. The disadvantage of this method is that, some members might not wash it well! And if parents do not call a particular person to clear the dishes, everybody would form busy or stay in their rooms. And parents might be calling only one particular member of the family always! #unfair#

I prefer the wash-as-you-go-routine. Because it gives everybody a sense of responsibility. And it makes the kitchen look neat always, and reduces bugs visits! When I cook, I wash as I use any utensils.  When I eat, I make a mental note to know whom I called  last  time to clear the dishes, so that there would be a balance. I started teaching each of my kids to wash dishes from 6 years old. I was a reluctant learner when my mum was teaching me at age 6 , but the day she beat shege comot for my body when I broke her best dishes out of annoyance, ehn! I changed by force by fire o! No try my mama conk for head o! Abi nah the ear-twisting? chai!

Dish washer is in some leased apartments here. I don't use mine. I didn't know how to operate it initially, until a friend visited and saw me washing with my hands, she showed me how and told me it's a different liquid soap I needed from what I was using. WHOSAI! I still wash with my hands o jare!  Each member of my family uses 1-2 dishes for each meal, and we don't get hungry the same time, so why load the dish washer with few plates and waste time, water, and electricity? Since, I have to first rinse the plates with my hands before loading the machine, why not kukuma, wash the plates ke? I realized some Nigerians and AA don't use it either! One AA told me, she feels her dishes don't get well-cleaned. It's not economical to some. Two said they use only paper-plates in their homes, because they are tired after the day's hustle. Here, guests clean up after themselves when served food, whether paper or breakable or china plates were used. Unlike back home, it is considered rude to allow guests to do such!

 More-over, America husbands wash dishes here! But nathing for our married 9ja bros o,esp when dem pickins dey? I say forget that one! # in MJ voice# {Watched one of her movies yesterday, I laughed at her mannerism}

Have a better week ahead guys :)

Wednesday, October 01, 2014


I had already prepared the topic I wanted to discuss today, only to lose interest when I heard about the Ebola news. I just weak! I felt the same fiery anger when it happened in  Nigeria! I don't blame the citizens for their vexation, when I read some comments.

What is so important in visiting now ehn? See the wahala the visitor don bring for him host now? I can just imagine the ripple this is causing! Chai! The bad-belle wen dem get for dudu before, go kukuma increase fa!

I know he will be cured, but at whose expense? How can this be curtailed? By closing all the borders from the affected countries? or Quarantine every traveler from the countries for 21 days?

Nigeria is celebrating her 54th birthday...Happy independence.
Ok guys, it's 12:21a.m morning to y'all...nothing good about it! SIGH!