Sunday, April 20, 2014


How would you feel after preparing a sumptuous meal for yourself, only to go into your room and come back and the food was gone? This is not a hypothetical question 0! Some guys share an apartment to cut cost since they work in the same place. One of them arrived home after a tedious day and decided to give himself a treat after days of eating microwaveable meals. He dished out his food to cool down while he quickly went to do something in his room, only to come back to stare at empty plates! All his flatmates denied eating the food! Nope! It was not April fool's day! He was livid! But there was nothing he could do! ... In this same scenario, a guy complained how his flatmates finds it difficult to buy basic toiletries but they would be expecting him to buy it every time! He suggested they have a monthly contribution to meet this general need, but they refused! He is fed up with this parasitic relationship and is looking for a studio to lease and live alone.

I remember talking about a guy who used his flatmate's sponge, towel and wore his cardigan, that the flatmate left everything for him, even to buy bathroom tissues nah problem sef! They all earn the same income 0! I just tire for these kain of paddy-men shaThe issue here is that, you don't know anybody until you live with them 24/7! Forget that you've being friends for 20 donkey years! The moment you begin staying together, all hidden flaws would be exposed which of course lead to quarrels.
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I wanted to share a room with my BFF when hostel accommodation was proving difficult for me to get at school then, but a mutual friend of ours advised against it that we would quarrel, luckily for me I was able to get the accommodation. I and my room-mates were cooking together because we liked each other and thought it would save cost. I contributed more, which I didn't mind, though, a course mate advised me against it. I became broke and it was during examination period! I naively thought my room mates would provide ... WHO-SAI! It then became 'each-to-your- tent-0-Israel!'  I could not travel back home because I didn't want to miss any papers and it was not long I came back from re-stocking! Garri and epa {cassava flour and ground-nuts} became my meal. Luckily for me, my uncle's fiancee stopped by my school to say hello on her journey home and she gave me money when she saw my condition. I went to the market and prepared a pot of stew and locked it inside my cupboard! My room-mates were surprised at my attitude, but I no send 0! My parents eventually heard through my uncle, they called a relative that lived close- by to give me some cash immediately while they repaid it into his account. Next semester when we resumed, everybody carried their own cross and bear their papa name o jare! People would always take advantage of a weakness if you allow them! You either fight back or end up being a doormat!

Wait 0! How can I forget to tell you guys this particular gist? I know! I Know! The post is getting long, but this gist makes me laugh whenever I remember it. Some guys in the corper lodge where I served ate together, as long as any of them cooked. But these corpers would go clubbing when they received their allowee, except one who was very prudent, hence he ended up feeding these other corpers most of the time. His babe came visiting, when she saw how her boo was been treated, she prepared a pot of egusi soup with eba, dished out the portion they would eat and hid the balance inside her travelling bag! 

The corpers smelt the sweet aroma but could not find the evidence in the kitchen or the room. They asked the guy 'how far nah?' He replied nada! {Nothing}. But they didn't believe him because his babe was around. When the lovers went for a moon-light-walk, one of the corpers that hunger don wooze taya, followed the scent of the soup with his nose and busted the mystery! They confronted the guy when he came back, that was when he gave them a piece of his mind with the support of his babe. After that, everybody arranged themselves for their corner 0!

Simple things like toiletries, cooking and cleaning causes friction between room/flatmates/family members. Some might think how petty or irrelevant such things are, but I tell you, they ain't! Until you are at the receiving end, you won't understand! ' Nah who pack s***, dey remember, and not who s*** am! {Who cleaned up the feaces that remembers the stench and not the person that passed out the feaces!}  Listen, for the fact that I was living in a 2 -bedroom flat in 9ja with my nuclear family and 2 extended family members, some people would still approach us to 'help' accommodate them or their relatives or children for a while because we lived just a bus ride away from a popular university but we always declined! 

There would  definitely be a strain on available resources, which would led to anger, grudge and eventually a fall out which would end with these parting words: 'dem no good!' {They are not good!}.There is this Nigerian mentality that a host MUST provide all necessary comfort to the guests at their own dis-comfort, so as not to be seen as bad. And the human nature is such that, what we don't pay for, we don't feel the pain or pinch! Hence, we don't appreciate it! When we relocated , our host out of the goodness of his heart asked us to stay with them in their house since it could conveniently accommodate 2 families, hence, our expenses would not be much. We politely declined, because for 2 women to share 1 kitchen, is trouble with a capital T!'Sooo, why all these long tori (story) I.B?' You might ask?'  ... well, very simple; We should not be too quick to call an individual selfish or intolerant or wicked when they take certain decisions because we have not drank water from the same kettle like them and know how it taste like!

Still wishing y'all a happy Easter. GOD bless.

P.s I have being reading so much about P-square, I sincerely pray it is not true because this is the only musical duo I like and enjoy their music. I will give the same advise an elderly woman gave to me on my wedding day: Do not ever get involved into the quarrels of brothers  or side any one of them as a wife, because they would eventually settle and you would be seen as a 'bad' person. Sit on the fence on a neutral land.