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Wednesday, April 23, 2014


The lights went off around 4;00pm yesterday. I immediately put a call to my service provider to know what happened,  after several network failure, I was able to get through and put on hold, I heard the voices of my neighbours outside, so I peeked out of my blinds to know what was happening;

Sunday, April 20, 2014


How would you feel after preparing a sumptuous meal for yourself, only to go into your room and come back and the food was gone? This is not a hypothetical question 0! Some guys share an apartment to cut cost since they work in the same place. One of them arrived home after a tedious day and decided to give himself a treat after days of eating microwaveable meals. He dished out his food to cool down while he quickly went to do something in his room, only to come back to stare at empty plates! All his flatmates denied eating the food! Nope! It was not April fool's day! He was livid! But there was nothing he could do! ... In this same scenario, a guy complained how his flatmates finds it difficult to buy basic toiletries but they would be expecting him to buy it every time! He suggested they have a monthly contribution to meet this general need, but they refused! He is fed up with this parasitic relationship and is looking for a studio to lease and live alone.

Friday, April 18, 2014


Father, as Your children remember the 'Grace' You have given them to come boldly to Your presence to plead for 'Mercy', look upon them with pity and heal the nation. Put Your loving and comforting hands around them, to heal their broken hearts. Protect them, just as a bird hovers around it's nest to defend it's young.......Let the people say

Monday, April 07, 2014


I made a mental comparism as I watched how polygamy is practiced here with what I know back home. The 'sister-wives' show is presenting a picture of unity and harmony in a family consisting 21 people! I read between the lines and interpreted the body languages. Now, the first wife has only one child, all her attempts to have more failed, but she is not giving up...

Sunday, April 06, 2014


I was sad when I read that another wife has bite the dust. My condolences to the bereaved and the departed rest with the Lord peacefully Amen. I had so wanted to talk about marriages in diaspora for quite a while, but I continued pushing the urge away and saving it in the draft because I would tell myself, it is not yet time. But with the recent happenings, it gives me the right platform to present my objective view...i think.

When I arrived on the Land of the Brave and Liberty 2 years ago, the first question I was asked by a 9ja  was; 'What do you want to do?' 'Teaching!' I replied excitedly. There was a surprise look on her face as she asked; 'Teaching?' 'Yes!' I answered. 'Why?'... There is no money in it!' She exclaimed. 'Because I have a passion for it!' I grinned widely as I spoke. 'Money comes first here, and not passion.......' She went on to explain to me the strategies Nigerian- immigrants adopt to survive in this great country called America. But I still refused to buck under the persuasive pressure from people around me because I knew what I wanted! It was only one guy that agreed with my decision and told me this nursing issue was over-rated! And there is an association of nurses who are mostly divorcees ... and he explained further. I refused to believe all he said, because I know the 9ja mentality of always blaming the wife when a marriage goes sour!

I had cause to change my opinion when I observed the happenings amongst 2 couples: Both wives were the breadwinners and work along the medical line. Let me just say that my sympathy went to their husbands rather than my fellow women for doing a great task of taking care of the home. Their authoritative attitude also rubbed off on other 9jas around them who grumbled ... that their pastor continued to preach about submissiveness ... remember, I just 'got off the boat' and I was already getting some wrong vibes. But another 2 marriages which have the wives as the breadwinners ; One is a RN, the other a social worker, are  'humble' that their husbands sings their praises unlike the previous 2 all I heard were regrets!

The truth of the matter is that some male Nigerian immigrants got their legal status through the 'hard-way' ... I mean they did s***! unlike some of us who got it delivered on a 'platter of gold'. My grouse is with these certain men who would travel back home with a calculative purpose to marry a young gal who would be very productive to them. Factors like age, educational qualification, family background and religion plays a role in choosing the perfect bride! The 'chosen' brides are lured with the 'milk and honey' story. Only for them to arrive and the reality dawns on them like a fist aimed at the mid-region! And remember what they say about 'who pays the piper, dictates the tunes right?' So she would continue to dance to the tune of the piper ...but the piper tend to forget they are now in a country whose norms and values differs from what is obtainable back home...should I call it selective amnesia?
When these wives become empowered, the roles in the home are reversed. NOW! THIS IS WHERE THE PROBLEM ACTUALLY BEGINS!!!! Some husbands begin to taste their own pills and find out how bitter it is! Some wives hold the specter of power and wedge it with a mighty force! If any of the spouses refuses to bow down, the home would become a battle ground until a victor emerges! 

I know, as usual, there would be dis-agreement and agreement from different quarters which is ok with me ; for I believe in 'lets agree to dis-agree... with maturity. My friends, the truth is that, every action gets a reaction, be it positive or negative.

 Thank you. 

Saturday, April 05, 2014


I have tried to avoid marriage talks for quite a while  now because everybody ... I mean EV-ERY-BO-DY have become an expert on it...hey! That reminds me... @ilola wrote a post on it a year ago...let me go and search for it ... and I dis-agreed with her ... me and that gal ehn! But with what I read all around now, I am wrought to agree with her o! I knowww, she would be grinning with that 'I told you so look!

Friday, April 04, 2014


Reading Abiola's comment in the previous post prompted me to write about accommodation here. It  is so much easier to lease an apartment compared to my experience back home. Properties are searched for on-line. Then contact them to set an appointment for viewing. You would provide the following if you are interested:

Thursday, April 03, 2014


'A cop lives in the same building with us?' Hubby asked this morning as he walked into the bedroom after dropping off our kids at school. 'Yep!' I replied, as I picked up our baby for nursing. 'I never knew o!' Hubby said. 'Neither did I until I was chanced to meet him on his way to work hurriedly one evening when I went to check the mail'. I explained. 'How did you know?' I asked. 'I saw him at the car park'. He replied. 

Tuesday, April 01, 2014


When I look into the mirror everyday, I am grateful Lord, and You know why.
When I walk down the memory path, I thank You Lord, and You know why.
When I look at my family, I appreciate You Lord, and You know why.
When I remember my errors, I worship You Lord, and You know why.
When I take an overview of my life, I glorify You Lord, and You know why.