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Tuesday, February 25, 2014


The Hawk sent out it's young to catch a meal. It came back with a duckling. The mother Hawk
asked what was the mother Duck reaction? 'It didn't do anything, it just walked away'. Return it back, the mother Hawk said and find another meal. The young hawk came back with a chick. The mother Hawk asked the same question. 'Oh! The mother Hen was just flapping it's wings, running in circles and making such a racket!' The young Hawk replied. 'Then we can feast on this, the mother cannot do anything!'

This parable is usually used to describe a scenario where 2 people had a quarrel and words like;'I will deal with you! 'I will tell you what am made of!' Do you know who am I?' Then if one of them falls sick or have an accident, accusing fingers would be pointed at the other party who really had nothing to do with is like a toothless dog...all barks and no bites!

 Listen, it is not the people that talks too much you should be worried about, but the quiet ones, because you don't know what's in their head! Which brings me to the issue I really want to discuss; Some people go around talking about this or that, supporting or against one motion or the other all just to be heard, but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, you would realize they are all airs and no substance! And when these people p.o.v is not accepted, they make such a racket but when ignored like the mother hen, they keep quiet after a while.

I know, many or some would not want to hear this, but let me chip in this also; We humans are hypocritical beings! We are quick to give our opinions on other people's predicament, but when similar thing happens to us, we play the sympathy card so that people would empathize with us. We try to rationalize the reasons behind our own actions and say it is different! And I ask; 'What is new under the sun people?Nah today fowl yansh dey back?

Monday, February 17, 2014


An un-married diaspora lives frugally, to enable him send a large chunk of his income back home to assist his family and he has no savings. He spent a lot to process his younger sibling traveling documents, so that both of them can continue the hustle here and help in improving

the family standard of living and bring all of them over in the future. The younger sibling intentionally made his girlfriend pregnant, when he knew he would be leaving soon, because he wants to have a child in Nigeria.The family kept this from the diasporan until all traveling plans were concluded, he was angry when told later.

'Hmmm', I muttered .........what a self-centered j***! In his church mind, he thinks he is smart chei? His elder sibling puts his own personal life pursuits on hold so as to  make them comfortable, but he puts himself first! To me, this sibling does not share the same goal with his elder sibling o! By the time he arrives, and begins to face the reality of living abroad, he might not play his own role, which would become a problem! I know! I know! My pessimistic mind is running ahead of me, but the chances that it might happen is high. My first cousin did same for his younger brother, they had a huge fall out after living together for a while and each went their separate ways. I have visited my first cousin since I arrived, but not the younger brother because of poor communication...yep, it is that baddd!

This brings me to the issue where some Nigerians think that their families cannot survive without them! But they come to realize the truth when the chips are down! Please don't get me wrong people, am not against helping out family members, but one should know where and when to draw the line or they would find themselves in a jam! Let me share these 2 stories with you guys to buttress my point:

A lady's father left this realm and he had no landed property in the village as custom demands. This lady being the first born borrowed money from a Nigerian association and sent it to her family to build a house. After a while, the family were ready to bid their father farewell, but this lady was flat broke as in no money for ticket sef! Alas! Her family went ahead with the celebration without her, while she sat un-happy in her room the whole day, because she believed they would not dare go ahead without her consent.......WHOSAI!  Another came abroad as a student and was working his a$$ off especially during the holidays to assist his family and help his father build a house. The recession hit and he was not able to make much money again and he never saved because he believed there would always be jobs. He could not pay his tuition fee and rent. To make matters worst, his student visa expired, and no money to renew it! He dropped out of the school, moved in with his girlfriend, and seldom goes out because of fear of deportation,(for how long I wonder?).......see GOBE!

I am asking; Are their family members not surviving without their support? Did their lives come to a stand still? The annoying thing is that these same family members would turn around and say these helpers did nothing for them when they cannot get more! Or ask what they spent their money on sef, if they go broke? They would not be happy when these helpers decides to pursue their personal interest or see their spouses as rivals because their attention is deviated from them and they have more responsibility apart from theirs!

My take is that, helpers should not put their life on hold simply because the helping never ends. These family members would always come back in the future for one request or the other. Peace out!

Thursday, February 13, 2014


We were watching a movie, when hubby asked me; 'Money or love,which do you prefer? Without hesitating, I replied... 

'I.B!' He exclaimed while laughing. Being the tease I am, I couldn't resist telling him, money! Yep! You heard me right! You guys thought I would say love huh? fa-fa-fa-foul! (Zerbudaya's voice} AHAHAHA.....jokes apart though, in this dispensation where materialism is the bane of the society and a person's value is determined by how much they worth in assets, love is no longer given the chance to grow and weather the storm!

Ha! Some might disagree with me....but hear me out first; Money answers all things, as my bible tells me, and when the pocket is full, the mouth is very confident, goes a popular saying.It also buys respect, loyalty and companionship, but it attracts both friends and frenemies, as sugar attracts ants without  buying 'em!.... Now, wait for the whooper!....... Money buys beauty, and men love beautiful women! Q.E.D!.. 

...EHEHEHE.....Oops! I forgot; The saying, that it is better to be poor and happy, than to be rich and unhappy, does not hold water in this era o! Money can buy happiness, afterall happiness is relative. Money is the grease that makes the wheel of any relationship run smoothly without too much bumps. If there is no money in a relationship, be it family, friends and spouses, love would jump out of the window, and anger would walk in through the door with a swag.

Well, if you guys don't believe me, the stories in the media are there for you all to read and much vanity on display! So much spousal problems that it leaves one exhausted and some discouraged! Love is a beautiful feeling which is hyped by the movie and romance industry, that attraction, lust and infatuation is mistaken for the real deal! That is why I hear there is a difference between I am in love with you and I love you! My guys, I don't see or know the difference o! Abi unah know? If yes, explain to me abeg o.

Love to me is like a seed planted in a soil and when well taken care of, it would grow into a beautiful flower with sweet fragrance, but if poorly taken care of, it would shrivel and probably wither off. So, people, whatdaya think? You prefer money or love...hey! hey! hey! I don't want those in-between or balance-it-kind of answers o! Because naturally we want both or little of each......but that ain't the question or love? Choose.....come'on! Who is gamed?..EHEHEHE.

Saturday, February 08, 2014


The condescending looks and insults from relatives, friends, neighbours and even bloggers, towards me as a housewife in Nigeria did get to me atimes. It was one of such vulnerable moment I met Patrina in Jaycee's blog through my comment.. To understand my pain then, let me tell you what a relative said :

'That I refused to do anything because I am waiting for my inheritance!' I cried bitterly, that words of consolation from my hubby and mum could not comfort me. The relative denied it when confronted. What about an elderly neighbour who advised me to get something doing and not depend on my hubby because my kids are growing and there would be more expenses? This same neighbour saw I and my friend talking downstairs one early morning from her balcony and she asked if my friend was not going to work? And our Nigeria culture did not help matters sef! HUMPH! My guys, I hear am o!...hehehehe.

Hence,  I go on my knees and thank ALMIGHTY GOD for bringing me to America. I thank HIM for removing the veil of shame and disgrace from my face. I thank HIM for making me to have the last laugh! Some might brush this aside as no biggie, but it is to me. Being a housewife in 9ja was emotionally and physically draining! That was why I advised my friend not to resign from her job when she was finding it difficult to manage her career and children then......but today, she is coping quite well, as the kids are getting older.  And, yes o, am having the last laugh....these same people are trying to curry favour from me now! One even greeted me good-morning ma when we talked, that I turned around in my room to see if another person was with me!...ahahaha...This same person who believed I deserved no iota of respect simply because I sat down at home 'chopping' my hubby's money! Another wants an invitation. And That same neighbour (she travels often) is asking for my number, but I told my friend not to give her! I just want to be left alone to savour this new phase in my life.

It was a surprise to me that SAHM are respected here as career women. In America, they hold women and children as first priority. During my pregnancy, I got smiles and help from strangers. Child-care is expensive, compared to Nigeria, thus, SAHM are not looked down upon because they know the women are putting their own lives on hold for a while and manage the family income. Hence, I don't feel bothered again.....I am now wearing my SAHM badge with all pride!

Does it mean I encourage women to be housewives if they want to?On the contrary, NO! This is because everybody have their own level of patience, tolerance, endurance and faith.

Have a blessed weekend. 

Wednesday, February 05, 2014


I walked out of the mall towards our car and I noticed a card behind it. I thought hubby's card fell out of his pocket, as I bent to pick it up, my eyes fell on the money beside it. But LO and BEHOLD!  Before I could pick it up, a teenager walking with his friends or siblings, just scooped up the money as fast as a bird picks up it's prey! HEY! H-E-Y! I shouted at him, but he ignored me! A guy in his group turned to look at me and spoke in their Language to him, from his gesture, I understood he was telling him to return it, but this teenager boned the guy! Nah real ole o!

Hubby ran to my side as he heard my shout. 'Quickly! Check your pockets, and see if you misplaced your card or money'. I told him, while looking at the teenagers as they entered into their car. 'No! I did not lose anything', hubby replied. Phew! 'Thank GOD!' I said, because I was prepared to confront them! We looked at the card, it was someone from their own race and it was debit, luckily for the owner! If it was credit and it was that teenager that picked it up.......*whistles* We returned the card to a cashier since the bank was along our route, but I didn't tell them about the money o, I no want wahala!


I was angry at the teenager's effrontery! I also lost my debit card last year, and I pity anybody that might have picked it up and wanted to use it because I had less than $10 in it! And my name is not easily pronounced sef, so I am not worried about finding a long-lost 'twin' sister somewhere in the future. Thus, we were strongly advised never to share any vital info with anybody, but guide it jealously when we arrived. Infact, this issue is related to the problem I am having with the friend that is giving me the cold shoulder as I write, abegy, friendship no reach that one o!

Thanks for reading.

Saturday, February 01, 2014


We all have trying moments in our lives that we need a shoulder to lean on. We find that shoulder on our friends. My problem is do you trust the 'shoulder' well enough to rest your head on? These thoughts came into me when I heard about this gist:

A woman confided in her friend that she is suspicious of her husband having an affair and want to stop it. The friend told her the trick she uses on her husband anytime she wants him to listen to her. This lady rejected the advice, and told the friend she would rather confront her husband.

The lady's husband came home from work and she could sense he was angry, and when she asked what the problem was, she was shocked the friend went ahead with her plan! She was livid but pretended she didn't know what her husband was talking about, but he was not deceived. The next comment he made, sent shivers down her back, that she opened up to him, by the time he explained to her, she realized her suspicions were baseless.

'What was the trick and comment SM? C'mon, don't keep us in suspense'.......hmmmm...........*am enjoying all the attention*........ehehehehe.....ok! Just fooling around, today being a new month and all that, and soon December would be around the corner .... how fast........NI-TTY!!! OK! Ok! I heard, yo! By now you guys would have noticed 'yo' is the new slang I  use often....result of watching movies everyday, and just as a kid gets a new toy.......N-I-T-T-Y!

O-K!..... As I was saying....the friend called the lady's husband and told him about a revelation she had and decided to warn him as a concerned family friend; She saw him with a woman that was not his wife, and they were involved in an accident! The husband told his wife that, by the time her friend uses her 'mouth' to  cause destruction in her life, then she would face the harsh reality! When the lady called her friend, she explained that she wanted to put fear in her husband as she does in hers. The lady then kept her distance from her.

I was surprised that someone can lie about a dream so as to achieve a purpose and disregard a personal decision.
What kind of friend is that? Infact, with friends like this, one don't need to look too far for foes! This story buttress what I have always said in my blog;  Marriages differ! And some help ain't needed! It causes more harm than good!

Thank you everybody, have a blessed new month :D