Search This Blog

Follow by Email

Monday, January 27, 2014

SO HOW DO I COPE HUH?

I know some would be wondering how am I coping, especially as today makes it just a month I delivered? Well, apart from my loved ones during a wonderful job of looking after me, housekeeping is much easier compared to what I knew back home. I am not stressed at all, I am mostly on the bed either watching movies, blogging orsleeping. Infact, the stress level is minimal here, that is why the life expectancy level is above 43 years as it is predicted in Nigeria.


There are different appliances and cleaning supplies which helps to keep a home clean without too much wahala and living in an apartment with plenty of de-cluttering on my part makes it faster sef!


Nigerians here are more relaxed, even when there is no dime in our pockets. And when someone has peace of

mind, there would be this calm -fresh-face-robust look about the person, that when they go visiting, people back home would be thinking; 'This guy don hammer! Or Me-hn! enjoyment galore!' Expecting the guy to be generous like father Christmas, and when he doesn't, names like 'hard-core', Aradite' and super-glue' would be added as aliases to his name!


A guy called to ask about re-locating; Wanting to know if there are jobs and someone can be sending money back home. 'Yes, there are jobs and it depends on your lifestyle' He was replied. I was amused, because this guy is yet to land in jand and he is already thinking of the money to send back home?! He is not thinking of how he would survive first, but how to be seen as 'big-boy' back home! He probably thinks it is like 9ja, where one would rely on his host for everything even when working......... such people are called free-loaders here, and are not encouraged at all! My guys, the truth is that a host can be magnanimous for 2 months max, so that the person can get his footings, after that, it is; OYO! {you are on your own!}. The person either joins paying the bills and buying groceries or get an apartment! Visiting and relocating are 2 parallel experience, and until Nigerians understand that, they would encounter hiccups! No matter how rich or loaded the host is, money is very much valued here and not carelessly spent. Like I said in an older post, there is no 'nah my brother or sister' when it comes to money between Nigerians!


Sorry for digressing, I couldn't resist chipping that in, some illusion need to be shattered! So, as I was saying...... Any Nigerian in jand that is under so much stress is either living above their income or performing too much responsibility back home. Our women in Nigeria should be hailed and caps doffed for them for doing a wonderful job as a wife, mother and home-maker with the little resources available to them. I have experienced both sides and I can tell you that stress is one of the contributing factor to couples' fights because everyone would be cranky, easily irritated and snap at very little matter, which ordinarily ought not to be an issue. Well, the trick I used in Nigeria then, was to do what my power can carry me for that day and leave the rest for tomorrow. If hubby comes home stressed, after the endless traffic jam, I avoid frivolous talks and only tell him important message after his meal. But for here, he is my amebo partner o! ....ehehehhee...#pillowtalktinz#


Thanks everyone, have a stressed-free week.


Tuesday, January 21, 2014

ANTI-CLUTTER

I don't like clutter! Because it gives room for bugs to breed freely and I like airy environment. Talking of bugs, I hate those little vermins with a passion! Regardless of the continuous fumigation and several cans of insecticide monthly, these arrogant tiny un-paying tenants refuse to go! I am truly at my wit ends here! If I had my way in
designing the apartments, there would be less floor and wall cabinets, and for the fact that 80% of wood is used for construction, ain't helping matters either. The more I see people throw away stuffs they don't need again, the more I am inspired to de-clutter!

This also applies to relationships; 2 is company but 3 a crowd comes into mind. Having too many friends is a no-no for me, likewise extended family! It only breeds discord. A couple left alone without a 3rd party
interference or extended family drama, fares better. Let me use myself as an example; Since we relocated, I and hubby have become much more closer than when we were in Nigeria. We only have each other now and resolve any issue that arises. We are no longer in the 'I-am-the-man' society; Hubby now does the laundry, shopping, school runs, garbage drop and fend for himself in the kitchen, unlike when in Nigeria.


I spoke to a relative from 9ja recently, and she was lamenting how a friend of her husband is about to ruin her marriage! She is very independent, ambitious and earns more, so she takes out a large responsibility at home for love and peace sake. This so-called friend is jealous of her husband, and is fond of stirring the hornet's nest in her home. I advised her to cry out to anybody that the friend knows, to beg him to stop poke-nosing into her marriage. Haba! This is a man, whose wife ain't working and he worships the ground she walks on o! And he borrows money from my relative's husband, but he does not want her to have peace in her home!



A 9ja man married a 9ja-jand who grew up here with her family, and he relocated to be with her. He had to wait to get his work permit, so he was dependent on his wife. Anytime they had issues, his in-laws would support their daughter. It got so bad that he wanted to return back home, but his wife held onto his passport. He eventually got his work permit and was going out of the house, which brought a bit of reprieve into their marriage, but his in-laws still poke-nose into their affairs.


Grudges is another form of clutter. We hold in malice people that might have offended us. I ask; 'How many grudges would we keep?' Because people offend us everyday just as we also offend others! Ain't nobody a saint! Wounds get healed with time, and should let be, just as letting sleeping dogs lie peacefully. But, when you put yourself out there to be 'injured' again and again, gathering wounds as if they are trophies, then you've gat ya'self to blame! Like a good elderly friend of mine once said {paraphrase}: If the first time was a mis-judgment, the second time a mistake, then the third time is definitely your fault!


The summary of all these many words is that we should de-clutter our environment, our relationships and mind. Shikenah! *Ha! 2 much grammar! But how else would it be a post nah huh?* wriggle eyebrows*.

Thanks everyone :D

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

.....................WITH STRINGS ATTACHED

Survival is the name of the game here and many do that at the expense of the naivety, gullibility and vulnerability of their fellow Nigerians. This is why
some Nigerians don't mingle, and other races avoid us. I don't blame them! My own experience with the few Nigerians I have encountered, are not good either!  If some Nigerians welcomes you with a cup of tea, please be ready to reciprocate that 'kind' gesture with a tin of milo! Yep! Some kind/ good gesture comes with strings attached!


A friend is giving me the 'attitude' for some days now since I refused to grant her a favour she asked of me. I mean this is someone I had never rejected anything she asked before! I am so amused as I am vexed! Yesterday, I was in a deep-thinking-mood; I blamed myself for trusting too much! Well, whenever she gets over her anger, I know, it ain't gonna be the same again! I live a prudent life while in Nigeria and still do same here. But some Nigerians refuse to live within their income,and they expect to be bailed out every time by friends? Puhlease!


Listen! There is no love lost amongst we Nigerians here! You can quote me any day, anytime! selfishness is the rule of the survival game here! You just have to be cunning to outsmart them, so as not to burn the bridges after you, because no man is an Island. And, I have decided to reject any kind gesture from my fellow Nigerians here, because I am not ready to be manipulated like a puppet on a string!


Monday, January 13, 2014

WOULD THEY LISTEN???

Nay! This was not the post I intended for this week, neither was I ready to update so soon, but after reading all the 'ish going on about MOG or god of men and reading @tilola's post, I got really worked up and decided to vent my anger here, rather than in a comment box.

Like really??? WHAT IS GOING ON WITH PEOPLE THAT THEY CANNOT THINK FOR THEMSELVES!!!! Yes! I am
screaming so that everybody can hear how angry I am! Are we blinded by poverty? Or our respect-culture? Or voodoo/hypnotism at work?

They say, touch not my anointed! Do my prophet no harm! And I ask? WHO ARE THE ANOINTED? WHO ARE THE PROPHETS? WHO ORDAINED THEM? The Israelis were called specifically by GOD, and we were all bought into the priesthood through the blood of JESUS. Hence, we are ALL anointed & prophets and not all these wolves in sheep clothing feeding fat on the ignorance of the people who run after miracles and don't read their bibles!


I don't attend any Nigeria Church because we know ourselves reach ground patapata! People do 'things' to survive here, so who do they want to brainwash? Nah me dem wan preach to? I tried attending an orthodox church, it was an hour service, and breakfast was served after, I left because it was so 'dry'. I attended a black America church, it was a 4 hours service I stayed for a while, but it was there I got my first taste of bully from teenagers, I gave them a piece of my mind! And the pastor wanted to be in 'control' of my affairs, and that ain't gonna happen! So I left again! Right now, I am church-less and happy to be home building a personal relationship with my heavenly father. By the way, which 9ja has your time? When they are either working or going to school? Even the so-called pastors are not excluded!


Christianity here is more subtle and quiet. Not the aggressive and noise making establishments back home. It is Jehovah witness that I see often, but they stick mostly to their own race. Who want wahala? I don't know who is a priest or pastor when am out because I don't see them wearing the bishop's collar outside the church and everybody minds their business, obeying the rules or the cops would be called. So we Nigerians should STOP putting these god of men on pedestals! They are flesh & blood with desires & flaws like us!!  But my people go gree hear???




Saturday, January 11, 2014

MY EPIDURAL EXPERIENCE

Hey! My friends, you didn't think I would by-pass the opportunity to have the much-talked about epidural birth ehn? Wow! It was a blissful experience! Ok! Let me quickly summarize it:

I was already 6cm dilated when I was checked. The anesthetist set up an IV, a fluid was allowed to pass through me quickly, before he came to administer the epidural.


The procedure was like acupuncture, a coil was inserted into my back, and I went numb from waist down. It felt so gooood, just as when you come in from a hot sunny day and given a glass of ice-cold water, and you go aaa-aaahh!


I felt sleepy, but the shivers began. I was not cold but I was shaking uncontrollable. The nurse said that is what replaces the contraction pains, and my body was undergoing a transition. This continued until I was 10cm dilated. I felt no pressure, so it was the nurse who told me when to push by reading my contraction monitor. After four pushes, our 8lbs 7.3ozs {about 3.8kg} bundle of joy came into the world, and hubby had the pleasure of cutting his umbilical cord with the assistance of the doctor and did his first feet imprint. It was 4 hours later that the numbness subsided.


 There is a huge difference between birthing in Nigeria and abroad. This delivery was my easiest and un-messiest. There was no single stain of blood on the white bed sheets or my night gown or on the floor. Infact, you won't believe a delivery just happened! Every fluid was absorbed by the large disposable pads placed under me. I was not shaved or given enema as done in Nigeria. The labour/delivery room is like a bedroom setting, very comfortable and relaxing, only the beeping sounds of the monitors inside the cabinets gives it away as a hospital. The post-delivery room is also like a bedroom, and I was assigned another nurse who checked on us every hour. Hot meals were served, according to my menu choice.The 2 nights I spent were filled with pampering and thorough examination until we were discharged. Everybody was professional, courteous and warm. I thanked them all with hugs.

Have a blessed weekend y'all.


Friday, January 10, 2014

HUH???

'When and what are you expecting?' These were the
questions I was asked by friends and strangers. I go blank for a moment and ask 'Huh?'  'dem send unah come?' I later learnt they were simply curious. So I replied; 'End of the year and I don't know the sex.


I am very cautious during pregnancy, because I believe when a woman is expecting, she is vulnerable both physically and spiritually. So, I always keep to myself. This time around Neflix was my buddy. I watched so much seasonal films to last for a longgg time. Infact, right now, am on season 4 episode 14 of Ugly Betty. Just love the humour of the film. Rated it 5 stars!



Why am I superstitious? It's because of what I have read seen and experienced. For instance, during my first pregnancy, a neighbour who was expecting also, asked when was my day, I told her. An elderly lady overheard us, and advised me never to disclose such information to anybody next time and did I not observe the neighbour didn't tell me hers? By the time I came out of the delivery room, I understood why women attend one prayer meeting to another when pregnant!



If anybody had mistakenly asked me this kind of questions again in Nigeria, I would call the person alakoba and mount prayers on his/her head! *Laughing* Seriously though, I had cause to make such prayers on the heads of some Nigerians here, when they heard I was pregnant and given birth......Humph! My people! My ears heard  nasty words that made me livid! I went into a praying rage and returned back every evil words and thoughts to their senders! Nah dem buy our tickets come obodo oyibo? Or are they the ones that gave us permanent residency visa? Did we ask money from them to feed?

Isaiah 66:7-9 was my prayer point throughout my pregnancy. And GOD in all HIS faithfulness saw me through. Please, rejoice with me, because if it was by people's mouth........hmmm.......join me to say 'WE OSE' .

Thank you all.

Monday, January 06, 2014

IT WAS ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS.

It never crossed our mind to have another bundle of joy when we relocated. Friends in Nigeria would be asking when are we going to have an American baby? We would laugh it off, but I didn't know the bug has bitten my hubby.

When he began singing the baby blue song, my alert antenna went up, and I added an extra day to my safe periods and took long showers on my peak days.(Hey! A gal gat to

do what she gat to do qui? *wink*) You see, I removed my IUD a week to relocation after about 4 years of use in order to get the arm implantation since they are advanced in technology. But my weight put me at a disadvantage and I did not want another IUD because of the heavy flow. So Trojan and safe periods came handy!


 Ha! Unknowing to me, my hubby had marked my ovulation period to the V! And was planning his art of seduction to the T! I was having one of those longggg showers when he joined me. Hmm!  My people, don't let me bore you with the details! Just know that my body refused to co-operate with my head on that particular day! He always...*sudden pause* Heeeey! I saw that look on your faces y'all! Come'on guys! It was not my fault! The hormones were dancing salsa inside of me and my hubby knows how to make me sing in soprano! *batting my eye-lashes* So as I was saying....



My hubby always tease me that my cooking skill is like Nitel, just as my body is like magnet! So he was so confident and was counting the days to when I was expecting my flow which never came. I wish you guys could have seen the big grin on his face! Just as when his favourite football team scores a goal. I, that thought I have hanged my maternity gown for the last time 5 years ago!



Don't worry guys, he won't catch me again unexpectedly because I will be going back to the same IUD I refused in few weeks time. Yep! He is already teasing me with baby #6 so has to have an even number! He is sooo looking for my trouble o! :D

Thursday, January 02, 2014

A NEW BEGINNING!

Happy new year everybody!!!
I truly missed you all!


I  am sorry, I had to quietly leave when I found out I was expecting, needed all my attention. I was delivered of a baby boy on December 27th, 2013.

Y-E-S! I am returning to blogging because I enjoy writing but under a new name; A new dawn! Which signifies; A new beginning, a new year, another bundle of joy, another year added to my age today; January 2nd and a new laptop!  All old things have passed away as the old year did.

Wow! Where should I start from? So many things to talk about, but  I would try to take it a day at a time; I would start from my pregnancy experience and hope it won't be boring to you all? 


Oh! To the new readers, I was formerly Nitty-gritty, then simplymee, now New dawn. Hopefully, I won't change that again huh? I definitely won't! October 4th 2013 marked my 4th year of entering into blogsville, but today January 2nd marks a new blogging year for me.



Thank you all.


Total Pageviews