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Friday, December 19, 2014

HOLIDAY..YE-HAW!

Schools are vacating today! Ye-haw!

Ha! Welcome, blissful sleep until January 5th 2015!

Yes o!

Monday, December 15, 2014

HAIR

My pipo, this mata I want to talk dey pain me for body 2 much! I dey miss

Friday, December 12, 2014

MEDICAL IN YANKEE.

 A friend told us she sent her mother back to their country for treatment yesterday. Her mum stays with her, helping to look after her child, but has no medical insurance.
Paying from her pocket will increase her credit debt or leave a big dent in her savings. She decided to spend part of the money she will be billed here to purchase a ticket for her to travel and get treated at one of the best hospitals in her country. HUMPH! My people, this is to tell you that, medical ain't cheap in yankee O! 


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When in Nigeria, the impression I got from diasporas was that medical was free, and cheap. I believed because, Nigerians often travel abroad to seek for medical attention and nobody ever talked about the challenges they encountered. On my arrival, I learnt that it was not so in yankee!  I was surprised to find out that some drugs cannot  be bought over the counter like anti-biotics and blood/iron capsules, without doctor's prescription. Hence, people rob pharmacies! But medications for common ailments like cold, flu, headache, stomach upset, allergies, and cough can be seen on the shelves. The first month of my arrival, I heard, how a man walked into a 24/hour pharmacy one early morning, and shot down the people there, and stole some drugs! Recently, a man robbed a store of $1:00, so he will be arrested, and be entitled to medical insurance in the prison and be treated for his ailments!
The doctors abroad, are well experienced and equipped to carry out their jobs professionally! But this comes at a price! Medical insurance helps to ease the burden, but sometimes, it does not cover all procedures! The patient might end up paying part of the medical cost! That is why, you must understand the type of medical insurance you are buying, and verify from them before embarking on any major procedure, or else, you might end up paying from your pocket! And if you refuse to pay, your name will be taking to debt collectors! Immigrants and citizens without medical insurance pays with cash or cards.


The reasons some don't have medical insurance are; They don't have papers, or it will reduce their income drastically when deductions are made monthly, and since insurance is renewed yearly, if they have no need to visit the doctor for a whole year, it's sweet bye-bye to the money! And if you resign from the job that deductions are made monthly from, kiss your money farewell! Hence, some decide to pay as when needed. You can still go to ER, in case of emergency, even without insurance, you simply tell them the mode of payment; Debit, credit, or cash. A guy used his insurance to get himself treated, just a day after resigning from his job, the insurance company wrote to him that they were not liable! He was surprised! He paid it from his pocket. Another lady, got approval from her insurance to go ahead with a major treatment. Months later, they wrote to her, saying, she will pay part of it. It became a court case. They won, so she is expected to pay thousands of dollars installmently for many years!

Medicard is the government insurance for children from 0-17years, senior citizens from 60 years old, pregnant women and prisoners. Thus, obamacare is a welcome relief to many, because the onus now falls on employers also to provide medical insurance for their employees and one's income will determine how much to pay monthly for medical insurance, no longer a flat rate set by different insurance firms. So my people, that is how it rolls in yankee o! Hence, I doff my 'gele' for Nigerians who come here often to seek for medical help. Excluding our politrikians sha!

Happy weekend to everyone and compliments of the season in advance. 

Friday, December 05, 2014

DEAREST DAUGHTER {a short sequel}

       
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My Dearest Daughter,
                                    I read your e-mail with excitement! I am glad you have found someone of interest in your life.  I know you are an adult but remember all that I wrote to you on your 18th birthday huh? Please, before, you commit yourself totally into this relationship, I want you to find out some important fact about your new found love, because, who knows, the relationship might lead to the altar, so be prepared.
 

Monday, December 01, 2014

MY NEIGHBOURHOOD.

Music is blaring through my walls as I write this. My neighbour upstairs is in a celebration mood. Apart from the music, the children can make noise ehn! Running up and down the stairs and in their apartment. I dey hear am no be small! I kept quiet because I also have children, but one morning, one of them stomped so hard on the floor that the ceiling fan wobbled, and the lights flickered. I had to confront my neighbor for the first time! Because I will be held liable for any damage in the apartment!  Infact, I have to pause as I was updating this post to confront them, when the lights in my sitting room flickered due to the ruckus they were making up there. I have the option of either reporting to the management or calling the police, but I chose dialogue, and their parents apologized ... all is calm now ... hopefully it will remain so o!

Friday, November 28, 2014

I LIKE HER A LOT!

Yes o!  I so like Phoenix 'J'! Always dashing me award from left, right and center!  She gave me the liebster award, sisterhood award, now, the sunshine award! Thank

Thursday, November 27, 2014

THANKSGIVING!

Hey! Its thanksgiving day! A well celebrated day in yankee o! Today happens to be my baby's 11th month birthday also! You think, I won't mention it huh? *side-eye*... ahaha. Yep! You guess right ... I am so happy! It's like Christmas here o! Schools are out for a week! The preparation for the upcoming black Friday night is on! My first thanksgiving experience saw me receiving turkey  from new friends I made, and the store I bought my groceries gave free turkey on every $40:00 purchase! I left them all in the freezer for months because I didn't know what to do with them! I later used it to prepare stew o jare! On my 2nd thanksgiving experience, I bought one and baked it as I saw in y-tube ... hmm ...I try small ... ahahaha. Now! This is my 3rd time of celebrating thanksgiving with the people of the land of liberty and the brave! Ye-haw! Oh! Yes! My turkey is slowly baking in the oven as I type.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

YOU MIGHT DISLIKE ME FOR THIS!


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A lady was introduced to a man by a pastor, since both were legal immigrants and at marriageable age. She was told he is a doctor, and was happy to hook up with him, but after few dates, she found out he was not a practicing doctor in yankee but in 9ja, and does survival job here. Hence, she backed out of the relationship. Of course,

Monday, November 17, 2014

MY MINI E-BOOK.

A big thank you to everyone who subscribed to my mini e-book. I
explained in my previous post that Jummy, the Good Naija Girl, encouraged me to write an e-book, because I have so much to say on some issues, but summarize so as not to have long posts. 

Saturday, November 08, 2014

GIVING HONOUR WHEN IT'S DUE.

Hello, my friends, I believe many of you have seen the recent changes in my blog huh? All these changes came about, at the hands of a kind blogger, who took her time to educate and encourage me more on blogging tips, and to be active on face-book. She designed the Fb logo!

Tuesday, November 04, 2014

LAUNDROMAT

I was surprised when I found out on my arrival that,  there was no washing and drying machine inside many of the apartments, but laundromats. #see me that washed with my hands in 9ja, before hubby bought washing machine for our 10th anniversary,  am not serious o jare!# Jokes apart though, my expectations were high. I was told if I buy the machines and installed, the management would charge me extra for water. Ok! I went to find out the cost of both machines and installation, lets just say, the total cost brought me down to reality with a crashing sound! So, off to laundromat I waka go jor!

Friday, October 31, 2014

A NEW PERSPECTIVE

The environment one grows up from, shapes his/her perspective to life and how they handle different issues that confronts them. Ever since, I crossed the 7 seas to berth on the land of liberty and brave, my perspective to some issues have taken a 360 degree turn! The society, I found myself teaches one to respect boundaries, and some things are privileges and not rights! 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

RELOCATING?

Relocating to yankee? Here are few tips for you from my little experience; #long
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post alert#


The kind of  host a relocat-ee  stays with, would determine how fast s/he would settle down in yankee. Some host have little or no info about some facts, thus, going around in circle. Or some host don't want to share some important info they learnt from a bitter /hard experience, thus, wants his/her guest to go through the same thing! Some host wants to take advantage of the naivety of a JJC to his/her benefits! Hence, every relocat-ee MUST do some basic research before leaving the shores of their father's land.

First, if a relocat-ee, have several options of where to stay in yankee, before filling out the contact of a host on the form, please go online and find out facts about that state, especially the employment rate! What I mean is that; If you have a relative and friend in Ohio and NY, google out the cost of living, how fast can one get a job in both states and compare. Go to forums like Nairaland and ask questions. But if you have only an option, no problem, go there with the mindset that, you can move to another state if your host state is not favourable to you. Research on how to prepare Resume/CV. Like I said in an older post, yankee employers don't like stories! Simply go straight to the point! Back home, the more the pages of your CV, shows how experienced you are and high chances of getting the job. Not so here! A page is enough for anybody with less than 10 years experience! 2 pages for more than 10 years experience. Each CV is written to suit a particular job requirement, because employers look out for some key words, and if missing, the computer system is programmed to take it to trash! So you might end up having several CVs, because one CV cannot be used to apply for different jobs as done back home. Thus, have a good filing system, to know which CV you used for a particular vacancy, so when called, you won't be confused. Like I said in an older post, whatever your story is, stick to it!


While back home before relocating, learn how to DRIVE! Ladies, learn how to braid, fix and cut hair, likewise men should know how to cut their hair themselves. DIY is a norm here, to save cost. Ladies, if possible, learn how to operate a sewing machine to patch clothes or fix new zips, especially if you have kids, because you would end up throwing away clothes everytime there is a little incident, because the cost of repairing a torn cloth, is as good as adding money and buying another, that is if you find an African that sews in your area! Still on clothes, PLEASE DON'T THROW AWAY OR DASH OUT ALL YOUR CLOTHES and FOOTWEARS with the intention of shopping here. Because, you are not coming as a tourist, but to live here, hence, you MUST be very prudent! Simply buy the basics like winter clothings and footwears.

Bring a reasonable amount of money! When relocating, it's not time to do father xmas for people back home. Quietly do your preparation, converting all your money. Because, no amount of Millions of Naira you convert to dollars, would be enough! Especially if you have kids, because your host would expect you to take care of your expenses after  few days or a week in his home or contribute to the upkeep. Now, this is where taking advantage comes in! If some host knows how much brought in, they would make sure you deplete that money and be at their mercy! No! I am not exaggerating or being mischievous! Some Diasporas are the s***! One told me it is done out of envy, so that the relocat-ee would suffer some hardship as they did! Another told me, he had to send his money back home, when his host is always complaining of no money, while he continuously foots the bill at home.  Another said, his host discouraged him to get his own apartment because he was the one paying most of the bills! So, after getting your #SSN few weeks of arrival open an account immediately! Please, don't tell nobody the total cash your brought in, no matter what! If it's above $10k, declare it at the customs as the rule says.
Getting an apartment is the next agenda on arrival. I explained it here. Let me add that  relocat-ee should google about the crime rate in the area and the ranking of schools. You see, public schools are rated accordingly, and it usually determines where families  finally settle down.  If Single or no kids yet, then don't bother, simply avoid areas that have high crime rate. I observed that any district that schools are located or nursing homes, that place is very safe. More-ever, don't go furnishing your homes with all gadgets, a new job can determine if you would move or not! So getting a U-Haul, and travelling on road to another city or state can be tiring. So, buy the basics; Mattress, bedsheets, blankets, few utensils for cooking and eating. Curtains for window if no blinds. A man said he and his family slept on duvets laid on the floor for many months before he bought mattress because they were saving their cash. One said, it is not advisable to completely furnish an apartment, because, you might end up throwing away most of the stuff when moving. Which is true, because I do see a lot of household items by the garbage site, some people pick the items they need. So a relocat-ee should manage as much as possible, until s/he knows and decides to settle down finally in a particular state or city.



This is my advise to couples with kids. PLEASE, be mindful of whom you pick as friends. Some make friends because of the benefits they would get from you. keep ALL important info to yourselves, your #SSN, Passwords, Pin numbers. Guys are not smiling here o! Identity theft is a big issue here. PLEASE, don't take decisions that would affect your children in future, no matter what!



I have so much to talk about, but would stop, so as not to make this post tiring. Any thing a reloct-ee wants to know is at the tips of their fingers...google! Please be careful of scammers! Ok! Bye-bye.


Sunday, October 19, 2014

BLOGGER-SISTAHS.

We make friends as we embark on this journey called life, and some friends have become close like sisters. It is not different in the virtual life either, where we make blogger-friends, who later become

Thursday, October 09, 2014

INFIDELITY

Humph! Another gbege don shele for our 9ja community o! A lover recorded their 'act' un-knowningly to his married female lover whose first child is in college, and
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shared it with his friends. It eventually got to the woman and her family, nah so kasala burst o! The woman is suicidal now as I hear. 'Why did he do it?' I asked. Black-mail? Revenge? Spite?

Sunday, October 05, 2014

DISH WASHING

Remembered, I talked about food management in a previous post? Consider dish washing as a sequel. As petty this sounds, I have heard about quarrels
it has caused. This is a task carried out mostly by females and few males in Nigeria. I have observed 2 different routines:


There is a routine, where all plates are gathered after a meal, and only a member of the family would clean the dishes. Now, the member could be the eldest or youngest, or the person in charge of kitchen affairs, or whose turn to wash for that particular day. What I don't like about this method is that, after the dishes are washed, someone might use a cup or plate and leave it in the sink for the person in charge to come and wash! This is so annoying, especially, if the person whose turn it was, went out, and came back to see a pile of dirty dishes waiting for him/her to wash! My second dislike is that dishes would be placed haphazardly in the sink! And if not washed quickly, it is invitation to roaches! What about the smell from left overs?


The second routine is wash as you eat! Every member washes their plates immediately after use! Except dishes used by the parents, which is washed by the person who clears the table. The disadvantage of this method is that, some members might not wash it well! And if parents do not call a particular person to clear the dishes, everybody would form busy or stay in their rooms. And parents might be calling only one particular member of the family always! #unfair#


I prefer the wash-as-you-go-routine. Because it gives everybody a sense of responsibility. And it makes the kitchen look neat always, and reduces bugs visits! When I cook, I wash as I use any utensils.  When I eat, I make a mental note to know whom I called  last  time to clear the dishes, so that there would be a balance. I started teaching each of my kids to wash dishes from 6 years old. I was a reluctant learner when my mum was teaching me at age 6 , but the day she beat shege comot for my body when I broke her best dishes out of annoyance, ehn! I changed by force by fire o! No try my mama conk for head o! Abi nah the ear-twisting? chai!



Dish washer is in some leased apartments here. I don't use mine. I didn't know how to operate it initially, until a friend visited and saw me washing with my hands, she showed me how and told me it's a different liquid soap I needed from what I was using. WHOSAI! I still wash with my hands o jare!  Each member of my family uses 1-2 dishes for each meal, and we don't get hungry the same time, so why load the dish washer with few plates and waste time, water, and electricity? Since, I have to first rinse the plates with my hands before loading the machine, why not kukuma, wash the plates ke? I realized some Nigerians and AA don't use it either! One AA told me, she feels her dishes don't get well-cleaned. It's not economical to some. Two said they use only paper-plates in their homes, because they are tired after the day's hustle. Here, guests clean up after themselves when served food, whether paper or breakable or china plates were used. Unlike back home, it is considered rude to allow guests to do such!


 More-over, America husbands wash dishes here! But nathing for our married 9ja bros o,esp when dem pickins dey? I say forget that one! # in MJ voice# {Watched one of her movies yesterday, I laughed at her mannerism}

Have a better week ahead guys :)



Wednesday, October 01, 2014

SIGH!


I had already prepared the topic I wanted to discuss today, only to lose interest when I heard about the Ebola news. I just weak! I felt the same fiery anger when it happened in  Nigeria! I don't blame the citizens for their vexation, when I read some comments.



What is so important in visiting now ehn? See the wahala the visitor don bring for him host now? I can just imagine the ripple this is causing! Chai! The bad-belle wen dem get for dudu before, go kukuma increase fa!


I know he will be cured, but at whose expense? How can this be curtailed? By closing all the borders from the affected countries? or Quarantine every traveler from the countries for 21 days?


Nigeria is celebrating her 54th birthday...Happy independence.
Ok guys, it's 12:21a.m morning to y'all...nothing good about it! SIGH!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

OMG!

Captivating title huh? I watched out of curiosity because it was rated 2. I gave it 5 stars and decided to tell y'all about it, because it raised valid point. If you have not watched it before, please do so
 with an open-mind to understand the message passed:

Sunday, September 21, 2014

PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW

Hubby came home with red eyes. I asked, 'what happened?' He said he had been crying since he watched a video sent to him. He showed us. We were all crying.

Friday, September 12, 2014

I WILL NOT SHUT-UP!

Once again, the Nigerian community buzzed with the news of a woman who passed away and laid the blame on her children. The woman struggled alone to bring up her 2 sons, who got married to white ladies. She grew old and was taken to a nursing home, she expected the eldest son to take her into his home as our culture demands. They said, IF the sons have married Nigerian women, she won't have died so soon. 

Sunday, September 07, 2014

$100?

I heard of a situation recently, where a couple who came to birth their child here, was asking for help from friends because they were billed above the budgeted cost due to complication that arose. To his surprise, none were able to come to his aid. The amount is same with the minimum monthly wage here. Those that have come here to birth their children or seek medical attention, would tell you that, your pocket must be well lined. If the couple were back home, they would have gotten the money within few days.


I remembered a story where a man came here for a seminar, he found
himself short of $100 to complete an application. Nobody could give him the amount before the deadline. He had to call Nigeria, and the money was sent to him. A family went to spend 2 weeks holiday in Nigeria, and gave their hostess $100 as gift instead of buying items. They spent few days with them. The hostess did not appreciate the money because she ran her 2 diesel generators 24/7 and prepared sumptuous meals for the visiting family of 6, and provided other entertainment, all this from her small business because her husband was retired. A man complained how his wife nags about the $100 he sends every fortnight when he receives his pay, apart from items he sends to them for their needs.
What and where am I going with all these stories? I just want to say that, it is not out of stinginess or wickedness, some people don't want to help, but because they have to settle all their utility bills, credits, insurance FIRSTLY,buy groceries & toiletries at home SECONDLY, and send the obligatory stipend back home THIRDLY. And  then, see what is left, which truthfully speaking might not be enough to help out. A friend thought of giving $100, but wondered if they would appreciate it? Because it is like a tiny drop, that would barely make a ripple, since he knows how some visiting Nigerians think! what is #15k, when they spent millions coming over to visit sef? 

Have a fulfilled week ahead. #Team wash hands awlays#


Monday, September 01, 2014

UPDATE

Hey! My guys! You'all remember, this man I told you about ehn? Ok! I just learnt that his mistress got pregger the 2nd time and had an evacuation. She decided to have her uterus removed as a permanent solution. All efforts by his wife to savage their marriage is not yielding fruit at all! To make matter worst, he lied to the mistress he is getting separated from his wife, but from what I heard, she does not give a hoot if he is still married to her or not! Afterall, she has her own children from previous relationships and he loves her. He spends most of his time there.


I became so curious, that I asked more about his mistress and why this man refused to heed the advice of his fellow Nigerian men? I learnt that the mistress no be dudu 00! HA! NO WONDER THE MAN WAN KPEME INSIDE THERE!  HE-DIOT of the highest order! EHN! my pipo, you won't understand my exclamation o! It is an achievement to him o! A man that could barely woo a lady back home but managed to snag non-dudu for here, E GO DYE FOR THERE BE THAT NI!!!
WA-IT! Tori, never finis o! The man's mojo just awakened and his now playing the field! He is also chasing after a dudu babe by the side, who happens to be orhobo! The same nincompoop man that cussed me out! Yes! You'all guessed right! Am so pissed with him! He has an arrogant-I know- it- all-talkative- attitude that he has no genuine friends. They all rat him out, because he also bad-mouth their wives!
I pity am! He is playing with match-sticks! The annoying thing is that this  scally-wally man is still a Sunday school teacher!


Happy new month to you 'all. The 9th month is symbolic for child-bearing. Hence, every 'pregnancy' we carried, shall be delivered this September in Jesus name. AMEN!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

HOME FRIENDLY

Schools resumed 2 days ago and my baby turned 8 months old today! Both his lower and upper teeth are out and he has window teeth like his dad! I love gap-toothed smile. I have much to do now, since the kids are back to school, I really enjoyed their 3 months holiday at home. Right now, I ought to be sleeping, as baby is sleeping, but I wanted to update quickly, before he wakes up and all my attention would be on him. I know it is said that,

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

YOU KNOW ME?

Wow! Ediyemade  extended a hand of blog-ship to me by giving me the Liebster award. Thank you sistah. And what do people do when getting to know each other? They ask questions. So, J Ausserehl a.k.a.Phoenix wish to know the following about moi!

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

WHAT IS IN FOOD SEF!

Food! Humph! What this has caused in families, you won't believe! No matter how we try to play the ostrich over this matter, food still remains the major issue in every household! The system of operation depends on the size of the family and income! 'You can't use your 10 fingers to eat' so says a parable; One has to know how to live within a certain budget and save for the rainy days. With the state of the global economy, many are making drastic adjustment to survive. Hence, it's wrong to mock or cuss out anybody on their modus operandi!

Thursday, August 07, 2014

S-C-A-M-M-E-D!!!!!!!

HEY! My guys! You won't believe what happened to me this morning O!
My house-phone rang!
ND:Hello.
Caller: Hi, is this xxx?
ND:Yes.

Sunday, August 03, 2014

MY FIRST EXPERIENCE

I attended a Nigeria church wedding yesterday for the first time in diaspora. My first surprise was the time of the wedding; It was at 3:45pm! But trust 9jas nau! It didn't start until 4:15pm! But the officiating was quick; I hour! We were seated at our table by 5:30pm. I liked as the reception hall was within the church building and the sitting arrangement; 5-6 guests to a table. About 22 tables in all. But again, I trust my pipo, some tables had reserved cards on them! We jejely, went to seat at the extreme end, with enough space for us.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Y'ALL INVITED! 7/27/2014

Today is my 13th wedding anniversary! And my baby is 7 months old!
He is holding on to objects to stand up. #so eager to walk with his siblings#. I have once talked about the inter-tribal and religious challenges in our marriage and how we overcame them in my old blog. So, I won't bore you guys with that again! Then, what should I talk about now? Hmmm, give advise on marriage? Nay! I have learnt that, advise is like an a**hole, and everybody has one! OK! I would talk about I and hubby!

Friday, July 18, 2014

INTERPRET THIS;

The book of proverbs is one of my favourite reads, likewise any ethnic saying like this Chinese parable I want you guys to interpret; 'The reed that bends to the breeze does not break.' While brainstorming on it, lemme, share these few proverbs and apply it to situations;

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I AM CALLING THE COPS!

 I want to give my POV on this issue; Marriages amongst
Nigerian immigrants is based on 2 reasons as I observed; Love or papers! 


Nigerian diasporas either marry from here or go back home to seek for a spouse.The underlying factor is that, immigrant Nigerian women come to find themselves in an environment, where the society place the key of power in their hands rather than the man, unlike back home, after the dotted lines are signed, the society puts the women in a strait jacket! The feeling is like that of a bird, who was given it's freedom, and it spread it's wings and soared high to the sky. Just as  some Nigerian men back home abuse the authority given to them, so do some Nigerian women here, take advantage of the law! Remember, it is always said, power, absolute power do corrupt!


The Christendom in diaspora is fully aware of the shenanigans that is going-on, but since everybody came to seek for the greener pasture, all eyes,ears,and mouths, plays, blind, deaf and dumb! It is in diaspora that I have come to see the GOD-understands-type-of-religion and the do-what-I-preach-and-not-what-I-do-god-of-men!

Do I have advise or recommendation for such situations? Unfortunately, I don't! Why? Because I haven't walked in their shoes, and relationship between a man and a woman is highly unpredictable! All, I can say is that; GOD, the creator of mankind can NEVER be mocked by HIS creatures! Ok! My guys! This is a good morning to you all. Going to bed.

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

FOR A SISTER.

When I first read her post, I said to myself, she is bold as she is intelligent! She speaks on issues many avoid! In this virtual world we live,the wrong choice of words could leave a permanent stain on a person, hence, many sugar-coat their narratives, but she stood with her head raised high and laid it all bare on the table as it is! I applauded her courage, because I know some would be snickering behind their hands, forgetting to remove the logs from their own eyes!

Monday, June 23, 2014

SOME WIVES DO HAVE 'EM!

OK! We are on our 2 hours break, so lemme quickly give you guys this amebo gist that happened over the weekend!; #rub hands gleefully#
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Do you guys remember the man who said I was more uglier than his wife in this post?

Monday, June 16, 2014

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

HACHIKO WAITS

Tears rolled down my face as I watched the movie Hachi. It was based on the true life story of a dog called Hachiko owned by a professor in Tokyo. It made me remember the words; '....... but a faithful person who can find?' {proverbs 20 v 6}... Such loyalty!

Monday, June 09, 2014

SO MUCH 'ISH!'

A guy married and divorced after 5 years and a child resulted from the union. And he got married to another lady. Meanwhile, he has a mistress by the side who gave birth to his child when she refused to have a 2nd evacuation. He introduced this mistress to his new wife as a Christian sister,

Friday, June 06, 2014

CULTURE SHOCK!

Acclimatizing to my new environment, came with it's own shock! Which are:

1} I
 must look into the eyes of anybody I am talking to or with, be it an elder or a child! Handshake is the form of greeting, and a firm handshake shows I have a strong personality. HMMM!  I chop liver to greet my elder with handshake and look directly into their eyes when talking in 9ja? Nah for village square dem go hear my name be dat o! But casting one's eyes down or a limp handshake is seen as a sign of weakness here.

Monday, June 02, 2014

CLEARING THE AIR.

Angel sent me a link to a post she did, asking about me. I came across a comment which made me to remember another comment I read in 9jamum's post as well,
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 hence, it occurred to me that, I have to clear the air; That much I owe my readers.

Friday, May 30, 2014

SWITCHED AT BIRTH!

Reading the news about the stolen baby by a nurse- impostor, sent shivers down my spine, later excitement swelled in my heart when I read further that the kidnapper was caught, then words of gratitude filled my mouth to GOD and everybody that helped to hunt her down! I could just imagine the emotional trauma the parents were going through during that period.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

IT TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE AFTERALL!

I went visiting my friend, and met her mum at home who gave birth to 6 gals and 2 boys. I was nursing my first child then and talks were more on children.Then she told me something which I didn't believe!

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

CHILD-CARE

'How do both of you do it?' This question kept re-playing in my head as I watched my son who is 5 months old today, kicking and holding his feet up in the air. You see, a pregnant couple relocated with their toddler, so the husband was the only one bringing the bacon home. As usual, the Nigerian community was telling the guy 'Your wife must work!'

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

SOWING

My eyes became teary as I listened to him speak;  He was a young struggling man who paved his way through his first degree. He was surviving on his meagre salary when he graduated, while believing in a brighter tomorrow. A client of the company asked him one day while he was in the office, if he would sit  for his professional exam? He simply told him he could not afford the text books and fees yet. The next day, to his utmost surprise, this client came into the office and gave him the cash to cover all his expenses, which was more than half of his salary! He thanked this elderly man profusely because he never believed someone could be so kind to a total stranger. He passed the exam, and got a better job and prospered in his career.

Monday, May 19, 2014

PACKAGING

I heard a knock on the door, opened it, and the delivery man quickly thrust a carton

Thursday, May 15, 2014

AM I WRONG?

I dunno my guys, there is this nagging feeling am having towards someone, and I don't know if it's as a result of my previous experience? You see, I was never really close to this person, though, I tried to foster a friendship earlier on, but I got the I-don't -want-to-get-close-to-you-attitude, and I backed off, and left everything on a very cordial level. But all of a sudden, this person is being nice to me!

Sunday, May 11, 2014

BILLS! BILLS!! BILLS!!!

VS: 'Why don't you like guests? I overheard them teasing you about it the other day.'


IB: 'Because of the stress o jare! I have to change my routine, find entertainment for them, handle the children, and coupled with my other personal stuffs ... abeg, it can be tiresome!'



VS: *Laughing*.......is that all? What of the bills?'

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IB: 'Bills? What about bills?'


VS: 'Bills nah! Water and electricity?'


IB: 'O-k! I didn't think of that sef!'


VS:' It's because you are at home all day that is why you don't think of bills!'


IB: 'Chei, you too don join to yab me abi ehn?' {you've joined them to cuss me?}


VS: 'No! I am trying to say that, you would know the difference in your bill when nobody is at home most of the day. When everybody goes out, all gadgets are switched off except the refrigerator, so the bill would be minimal, but when a guest comes over, within a week you would see the difference, because the guest would be at home using water and gadgets.'


IB:' WOW! I never thought of it from that angle.'


VS:' How much is your electricity bill monthly?'


IB:' Humph! It's high o, especially during winter.' *Showed her the recent bill*


VS:' You see! Mine is much lesser than this!' *she told me the amount*


IB:' Really? You don't  use heat often?'


VS:' I do when at home! With water, sewage disposal and trash, I pay close to what you pay every month for electricity alone! Then imagine when I have guests, it would be higher!'


IB:' Ahahahaha, I get you. Everybody know where dey pinch am.'


VS:' Yes! It's the utility bills that worries me, anything, I have at home the guest would eat! And the guest should find his or her own entertainment!'


IB: 'Nooo! I have to do 'elejo' { special treatment given to visitor} for the person o!'


VS: 'That is why you are complaining of stress!'


IB: 'You have a point sha! This reminds me of how a family friend mocked his host behind his back when he travelled. This host took days off  from his work so as to be there for his guest and went out of his way to make him comfortable. Only for this family friend to return back to 9ja and laughed behind his back that he is suffering in obodo oyibo. I lost respect for the family friend sha! Why didn't he stay in a hotel then and see how much he would had spent throughout his visit?'


VS:'It was before I was doing that! But now, I give my guest a taxi number to call whenever they want to go out. One time like that, I was in the shopping malls with a guest from dawn to dusk! ... I was tired!'


IB:' Kai! You harsh small o!'


VS:' I have being here for about 8 years now. So I have experience unlike you. Don't worry, with time, your thinking will change'.


IB:' Hmmm ... maybe ... who knows ... my perspective on some issues have changed ... em that reminds me, I saw sales on children clothes in .....'


P.S; When I heard disporas talk about bills then, I was curious to know how different it was from bills we paid back home. Alas! I tell you my guys, there is a difference! But am not complaining o, because I see the positive impact and it is what I consume that I pay for.So it's up to me to know how to manage. I watched extreme cheap-stakes and I was amused and amazed.

Monday, May 05, 2014

'ALL NIGERIANS ARE RICH!'

source: Google free copyright.
'Nigerians are rich!' A Chinese, Latino and AA told me these when I met them. I had to ask the AA why such notion after she said it again when a mutual friend was telling us how he missed his flight due to logistics, and the standby had few vacant seats, so he had to buy the only available ticket from another airline which happened to be first class, because he could not wait for 2 days for the next flight on the airliner he missed. 'No average AA would had done that! S/He would rather wait inside the airport for that 2 days! She said. I see the way Nigerians live and shop, so y'all are rich! 'AMEN!' I whispered'... abi I no go claim such blessings?' 'But it's not true'. 'Ok, yo! But you've gat relatives that are rich, yeah?' 'Of course!'

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

BLACK-OUT

The lights went off around 4;00pm yesterday. I immediately put a call to my service provider to know what happened,  after several network failure, I was able to get through and put on hold, I heard the voices of my neighbours outside, so I peeked out of my blinds to know what was happening;

Sunday, April 20, 2014

YOU THINK YOU KNOW HUH?

How would you feel after preparing a sumptuous meal for yourself, only to go into your room and come back and the food was gone? This is not a hypothetical question 0! Some guys share an apartment to cut cost since they work in the same place. One of them arrived home after a tedious day and decided to give himself a treat after days of eating microwaveable meals. He dished out his food to cool down while he quickly went to do something in his room, only to come back to stare at empty plates! All his flatmates denied eating the food! Nope! It was not April fool's day! He was livid! But there was nothing he could do! ... In this same scenario, a guy complained how his flatmates finds it difficult to buy basic toiletries but they would be expecting him to buy it every time! He suggested they have a monthly contribution to meet this general need, but they refused! He is fed up with this parasitic relationship and is looking for a studio to lease and live alone.

Friday, April 18, 2014

LET THE PEOPLE SAY.......


Father, as Your children remember the 'Grace' You have given them to come boldly to Your presence to plead for 'Mercy', look upon them with pity and heal the nation. Put Your loving and comforting hands around them, to heal their broken hearts. Protect them, just as a bird hovers around it's nest to defend it's young.......Let the people say

Monday, April 07, 2014

I AIN'T BUYING IT!

I made a mental comparism as I watched how polygamy is practiced here with what I know back home. The 'sister-wives' show is presenting a picture of unity and harmony in a family consisting 21 people! I read between the lines and interpreted the body languages. Now, the first wife has only one child, all her attempts to have more failed, but she is not giving up...

Sunday, April 06, 2014

MY OBJECTIVE VIEW ...I THINK.

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I was sad when I read that another wife has bite the dust. My condolences to the bereaved and the departed rest with the Lord peacefully Amen. I had so wanted to talk about marriages in diaspora for quite a while, but I continued pushing the urge away and saving it in the draft because I would tell myself, it is not yet time. But with the recent happenings, it gives me the right platform to present my objective view...i think.

When I arrived on the Land of the Brave and Liberty 2 years ago, the first question I was asked by a 9ja  was; 'What do you want to do?' 'Teaching!' I replied excitedly. There was a surprise look on her face as she asked; 'Teaching?' 'Yes!' I answered. 'Why?'... There is no money in it!' She exclaimed. 'Because I have a passion for it!' I grinned widely as I spoke. 'Money comes first here, and not passion.......' She went on to explain to me the strategies Nigerian- immigrants adopt to survive in this great country called America. But I still refused to buck under the persuasive pressure from people around me because I knew what I wanted! It was only one guy that agreed with my decision and told me this nursing issue was over-rated! And there is an association of nurses who are mostly divorcees ... and he explained further. I refused to believe all he said, because I know the 9ja mentality of always blaming the wife when a marriage goes sour!

I had cause to change my opinion when I observed the happenings amongst 2 couples: Both wives were the breadwinners and work along the medical line. Let me just say that my sympathy went to their husbands rather than my fellow women for doing a great task of taking care of the home. Their authoritative attitude also rubbed off on other 9jas around them who grumbled ... that their pastor continued to preach about submissiveness ... remember, I just 'got off the boat' and I was already getting some wrong vibes. But another 2 marriages which have the wives as the breadwinners ; One is a RN, the other a social worker, are  'humble' that their husbands sings their praises unlike the previous 2 all I heard were regrets!


The truth of the matter is that some male Nigerian immigrants got their legal status through the 'hard-way' ... I mean they did s***! unlike some of us who got it delivered on a 'platter of gold'. My grouse is with these certain men who would travel back home with a calculative purpose to marry a young gal who would be very productive to them. Factors like age, educational qualification, family background and religion plays a role in choosing the perfect bride! The 'chosen' brides are lured with the 'milk and honey' story. Only for them to arrive and the reality dawns on them like a fist aimed at the mid-region! And remember what they say about 'who pays the piper, dictates the tunes right?' So she would continue to dance to the tune of the piper ...but the piper tend to forget they are now in a country whose norms and values differs from what is obtainable back home...should I call it selective amnesia?
When these wives become empowered, the roles in the home are reversed. NOW! THIS IS WHERE THE PROBLEM ACTUALLY BEGINS!!!! Some husbands begin to taste their own pills and find out how bitter it is! Some wives hold the specter of power and wedge it with a mighty force! If any of the spouses refuses to bow down, the home would become a battle ground until a victor emerges! 

I know, as usual, there would be dis-agreement and agreement from different quarters which is ok with me ; for I believe in 'lets agree to dis-agree... with maturity. My friends, the truth is that, every action gets a reaction, be it positive or negative.

 Thank you. 

Saturday, April 05, 2014

OVER-SABI !

I have tried to avoid marriage talks for quite a while  now because everybody ... I mean EV-ERY-BO-DY have become an expert on it...hey! That reminds me... @ilola wrote a post on it a year ago...let me go and search for it ... and I dis-agreed with her ... me and that gal ehn! But with what I read all around now, I am wrought to agree with her o! I knowww, she would be grinning with that 'I told you so look!

Friday, April 04, 2014

ACCOMMODATION PALAVER!

Reading Abiola's comment in the previous post prompted me to write about accommodation here. It  is so much easier to lease an apartment compared to my experience back home. Properties are searched for on-line. Then contact them to set an appointment for viewing. You would provide the following if you are interested:

Thursday, April 03, 2014

SO LOVING THY NEIGBOUR!

'A cop lives in the same building with us?' Hubby asked this morning as he walked into the bedroom after dropping off our kids at school. 'Yep!' I replied, as I picked up our baby for nursing. 'I never knew o!' Hubby said. 'Neither did I until I was chanced to meet him on his way to work hurriedly one evening when I went to check the mail'. I explained. 'How did you know?' I asked. 'I saw him at the car park'. He replied. 

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

YOU KNOW WHY.

When I look into the mirror everyday, I am grateful Lord, and You know why.
When I walk down the memory path, I thank You Lord, and You know why.
When I look at my family, I appreciate You Lord, and You know why.
When I remember my errors, I worship You Lord, and You know why.
When I take an overview of my life, I glorify You Lord, and You know why.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

DEMYSTIFYING SOME MYTHS.

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Y-A-Y! My older kids screamed into my room this morning to wish their baby brother happy 3 months birthday! Dem don take kisses bath the boy shaa! I was like really? So soon? Time to begin the sitting lessons 0. Caring for my new -born is not the same with my older kids. I did not abide to many DO'S and DON'TS rules and we turned out well.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

GISTS

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A Nigerian lady got pregnant for a Nigerian man who was married to an AA. She broke off the relationship because he didn't tell her his marital status. She had the baby, and later got into a new relationship with a M.O.G who says he is single.The baby-daddy still wants her, and used the pretext of seeing his child to woo her back. Both men are aware of each other and she assured the M.O.G that she was not going to reconcile with her ex. WHO-SAI! She began sleeping with him! The M.O.G, don't know and she assured her ex that she was not sleeping with the M.O.G either 'TAA! She is sleeping with him too!The ex found out and decided not to marry her again as planned after his divorce.

*Surprised?* Don't be! Because Survival is the game and self-preservation is the name! I really don't know how to explain it without coming off wrong, so, all I can say is that, love is not necessarily the primary reason for 2 adults to go into a relationship here. The ex obviously married to survive, and the M.O.G, is likely lying also.

A Nigerian couple have an agreement for the wife to keep her maiden name after marriage for reasons ranging from personal to economical. Which is not an issue here as it is back home because this society do not base their decisions on gender, age or marital status. My maiden name rather than my marital name is on my baby's birth certificate, and all documents were signed by me, because they believe in individuality. This is why we should not be quick to join the 'bandwagon' without asking the reasons behind such action.


Relationships amongst Nigerians here is quite different from what I see and know back home...OH! That reminds me; A 9ja man was talking about how ugly his wife is and how he is managing her. I turned 'Voltron, defender of the universe on the matter, only for this man to say I am more uglier than his wife sef! *OTURU-GBEKE O!*  Nah so I zip up my mouth 0!


Have a lovely weekend y'all :D


Monday, March 17, 2014

MY LONGINGS

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I long for our hair-dressers ooo! Me-hn! I have learnt to braid and sew weavons by force by fire! My first attempts were disastrous! subsequently, it improved with practice.....*manageable*

Monday, March 10, 2014

ONE LONG BORING POST!

When I found out I was pregnant, I searched for a doctor for my ante-natal. After picking my doctor, I made an appointment giving all my info.
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Wednesday, March 05, 2014

BLOGGING TIPS ANYONE?

A 9ja gal found out I have a blog when we were talking and was interested....OOPS! My identity blown! *as if I was anonymous before!..ehehehe...so I decided to share
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some of the blogging tips I have learnt since I began blogging 4-5 years now abi?

Monday, March 03, 2014

A DIFFERENT KIND OF POST

Wo-ow! It's March 3rd already! How time flies! It's

1:07a.m, just finished the night feeding and decided to watch the updated weather forecast news ..... Ha! School is out for today..... weather so baddd..... and winter ought to be over o!....

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS?

The Hawk sent out it's young to catch a meal. It came back with a duckling. The mother Hawk
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asked what was the mother Duck reaction? 'It didn't do anything, it just walked away'. Return it back, the mother Hawk said and find another meal. The young hawk came back with a chick. The mother Hawk asked the same question. 'Oh! The mother Hen was just flapping it's wings, running in circles and making such a racket!' The young Hawk replied. 'Then we can feast on this, the mother cannot do anything!'

Monday, February 17, 2014

SMART? SELFISH?

An un-married diaspora lives frugally, to enable him send a large chunk of his income back home to assist his family and he has no savings. He spent a lot to process his younger sibling traveling documents, so that both of them can continue the hustle here and help in improving

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the family standard of living and bring all of them over in the future. The younger sibling intentionally made his girlfriend pregnant, when he knew he would be leaving soon, because he wants to have a child in Nigeria.The family kept this from the diasporan until all traveling plans were concluded, he was angry when told later.


'Hmmm', I muttered .........what a self-centered j***! In his church mind, he thinks he is smart chei? His elder sibling puts his own personal life pursuits on hold so as to  make them comfortable, but he puts himself first! To me, this sibling does not share the same goal with his elder sibling o! By the time he arrives, and begins to face the reality of living abroad, he might not play his own role, which would become a problem! I know! I know! My pessimistic mind is running ahead of me, but the chances that it might happen is high. My first cousin did same for his younger brother, they had a huge fall out after living together for a while and each went their separate ways. I have visited my first cousin since I arrived, but not the younger brother because of poor communication...yep, it is that baddd!


This brings me to the issue where some Nigerians think that their families cannot survive without them! But they come to realize the truth when the chips are down! Please don't get me wrong people, am not against helping out family members, but one should know where and when to draw the line or they would find themselves in a jam! Let me share these 2 stories with you guys to buttress my point:


A lady's father left this realm and he had no landed property in the village as custom demands. This lady being the first born borrowed money from a Nigerian association and sent it to her family to build a house. After a while, the family were ready to bid their father farewell, but this lady was flat broke as in no money for ticket sef! Alas! Her family went ahead with the celebration without her, while she sat un-happy in her room the whole day, because she believed they would not dare go ahead without her consent.......WHOSAI!  Another came abroad as a student and was working his a$$ off especially during the holidays to assist his family and help his father build a house. The recession hit and he was not able to make much money again and he never saved because he believed there would always be jobs. He could not pay his tuition fee and rent. To make matters worst, his student visa expired, and no money to renew it! He dropped out of the school, moved in with his girlfriend, and seldom goes out because of fear of deportation,(for how long I wonder?).......see GOBE!


I am asking; Are their family members not surviving without their support? Did their lives come to a stand still? The annoying thing is that these same family members would turn around and say these helpers did nothing for them when they cannot get more! Or ask what they spent their money on sef, if they go broke? They would not be happy when these helpers decides to pursue their personal interest or see their spouses as rivals because their attention is deviated from them and they have more responsibility apart from theirs!


My take is that, helpers should not put their life on hold simply because the helping never ends. These family members would always come back in the future for one request or the other. Peace out!

Thursday, February 13, 2014

A VERY SIMPLE QUESTION!

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We were watching a movie, when hubby asked me; 'Money or love,which do you prefer? Without hesitating, I replied... 

Saturday, February 08, 2014

WEARING IT WITH PRIDE!

The condescending looks and insults from relatives, friends, neighbours and even bloggers, towards me as a housewife in Nigeria did get to me atimes. It was one of such vulnerable moment I met Patrina in Jaycee's blog through my comment.. To understand my pain then, let me tell you what a relative said :

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

WHAT EFFRONTERY!!!

I walked out of the mall towards our car and I noticed a card behind it. I thought hubby's card fell out of his pocket, as I bent to pick it up, my eyes fell on the money beside it. But LO and BEHOLD!  Before I could pick it up, a teenager walking with his friends or siblings, just scooped up the money as fast as a bird picks up it's prey! HEY! H-E-Y! I shouted at him, but he ignored me! A guy in his group turned to look at me and spoke in their Language to him, from his gesture, I understood he was telling him to return it, but this teenager boned the guy! Nah real ole o!

Saturday, February 01, 2014

.....WITH FRIENDS LIKE THIS......

We all have trying moments in our lives that we need a shoulder to lean on. We find that shoulder on our friends. My problem is do you trust the 'shoulder' well enough to rest your head on? These thoughts came into me when I heard about this gist:

Monday, January 27, 2014

SO HOW DO I COPE HUH?

I know some would be wondering how am I coping, especially as today makes it just a month I delivered? Well, apart from my loved ones during a wonderful job of looking after me, housekeeping is much easier compared to what I knew back home. I am not stressed at all, I am mostly on the bed either watching movies, blogging or

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

ANTI-CLUTTER

I don't like clutter! Because it gives room for bugs to breed freely and I like airy environment. Talking of bugs, I hate those little vermins with a passion! Regardless of the continuous fumigation and several cans of insecticide monthly, these arrogant tiny un-paying tenants refuse to go! I am truly at my wit ends here! If I had my way in

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

.....................WITH STRINGS ATTACHED

Survival is the name of the game here and many do that at the expense of the naivety, gullibility and vulnerability of their fellow Nigerians. This is why

Monday, January 13, 2014

WOULD THEY LISTEN???

Nay! This was not the post I intended for this week, neither was I ready to update so soon, but after reading all the 'ish going on about MOG or god of men and reading @tilola's post, I got really worked up and decided to vent my anger here, rather than in a comment box.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

MY EPIDURAL EXPERIENCE

Hey! My friends, you didn't think I would by-pass the opportunity to have the much-talked about epidural birth ehn? Wow! It was a blissful experience! Ok! Let me quickly summarize it:

Friday, January 10, 2014

HUH???

'When and what are you expecting?' These were the
questions I was asked by friends and strangers. I go blank for a moment and ask 'Huh?'  'dem send unah come?' I later learnt they were simply curious. So I replied; 'End of the year and I don't know the sex.'

Monday, January 06, 2014

IT WAS ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS.

It never crossed our mind to have another bundle of joy when we relocated. Friends in Nigeria would be asking when are we going to have an American baby? We would laugh it off, but I didn't know the bug has bitten my hubby.
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