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Friday, December 19, 2014


Schools are vacating today! Ye-haw!

Ha! Welcome, blissful sleep until January 5th 2015!

Yes o!

It's 2:01 a.m, and here I am blogging, while my son dances to music from Tv.

When my older kids vacate today, they will be playing with him, since, they can sleep whenever they like on holidays, while I sleep on the settee, until he falls asleep.

Holiday comes with constant shouting from me ... since,they cannot play outside, they have to find an outlet for their boundless energy... the boys will wrestle and
bounce on the beds, and kick ball to each other... While the gals will play hide and seek, or tag. The little one will not be left out o, he will be running along with them, shouting with excitement. I will re-arrange the furniture to create more space.

Then we would play games like monopoly, scrabble ... do some drawings and colouring ... Nope! We don't do lesson during these short holidays, only summer.
By 2pm, they will use their tablets for a while .... I will have peace ... later, we would watch a movie together... back to their tablets ... then tv ... until we fall asleep.

We would be celebrating my 4th child's birthday on Sunday, he will be 7, then 2 days after Christmas my baby will be ONE YEAR OLD! ... yawning so bad.

Kai! No sign of sleep on his face o! I pray his routine changes when he becomes 1.

#Proof! This is the most in-coherent random post ever!

Pardon me my friends, I am writing through sleepy eyes ... wish y'all a merry Christmas and happy holidays...yawns.

Monday, December 15, 2014


My pipo, this mata I want to talk dey pain me for body 2 much! I dey missour hair dressers, no be small! Dem say, until you lose something, you no go no the value.
Make unah appreciate all of dem o! They are talented and affordable! I tell you! So - so braids and weav-ons  for here because it's time and cost effective! I want simple ordinary weaving every week, alternate am with thread to give the hair balance and texture! But WHOSAI! I know for 9ja, nah orishi-rishi  hair styles pesin go dey see. Why didn't I learn to plait hair sef? Mschew! 

I dey vex o jare!

Friday, December 12, 2014


 A friend told us she sent her mother back to their country for treatment yesterday. Her mum stays with her, helping to look after her child, but has no medical insurance.
Paying from her pocket will increase her credit debt or leave a big dent in her savings. She decided to spend part of the money she will be billed here to purchase a ticket for her to travel and get treated at one of the best hospitals in her country. HUMPH! My people, this is to tell you that, medical ain't cheap in yankee O! 

When in Nigeria, the impression I got from diasporas was that medical was free, and cheap. I believed because, Nigerians often travel abroad to seek for medical attention and nobody ever talked about the challenges they encountered. On my arrival, I learnt that it was not so in yankee!  I was surprised to find out that some drugs cannot  be bought over the counter like anti-biotics and blood/iron capsules, without doctor's prescription. Hence, people rob pharmacies! But medications for common ailments like cold, flu, headache, stomach upset, allergies, and cough can be seen on the shelves. The first month of my arrival, I heard, how a man walked into a 24/hour pharmacy one early morning, and shot down the people there, and stole some drugs! Recently, a man robbed a store of $1:00, so he will be arrested, and be entitled to medical insurance in the prison and be treated for his ailments!
The doctors abroad, are well experienced and equipped to carry out their jobs professionally! But this comes at a price! Medical insurance helps to ease the burden, but sometimes, it does not cover all procedures! The patient might end up paying part of the medical cost! That is why, you must understand the type of medical insurance you are buying, and verify from them before embarking on any major procedure, or else, you might end up paying from your pocket! And if you refuse to pay, your name will be taking to debt collectors! Immigrants and citizens without medical insurance pays with cash or cards.

The reasons some don't have medical insurance are; They don't have papers, or it will reduce their income drastically when deductions are made monthly, and since insurance is renewed yearly, if they have no need to visit the doctor for a whole year, it's sweet bye-bye to the money! And if you resign from the job that deductions are made monthly from, kiss your money farewell! Hence, some decide to pay as when needed. You can still go to ER, in case of emergency, even without insurance, you simply tell them the mode of payment; Debit, credit, or cash. A guy used his insurance to get himself treated, just a day after resigning from his job, the insurance company wrote to him that they were not liable! He was surprised! He paid it from his pocket. Another lady, got approval from her insurance to go ahead with a major treatment. Months later, they wrote to her, saying, she will pay part of it. It became a court case. They won, so she is expected to pay thousands of dollars installmently for many years!

Medicard is the government insurance for children from 0-17years, senior citizens from 60 years old, pregnant women and prisoners. Thus, obamacare is a welcome relief to many, because the onus now falls on employers also to provide medical insurance for their employees and one's income will determine how much to pay monthly for medical insurance, no longer a flat rate set by different insurance firms. So my people, that is how it rolls in yankee o! Hence, I doff my 'gele' for Nigerians who come here often to seek for medical help. Excluding our politrikians sha!

Happy weekend to everyone and compliments of the season in advance. 

Friday, December 05, 2014

DEAREST DAUGHTER {a short sequel}


My Dearest Daughter,
                                    I read your e-mail with excitement! I am glad you have found someone of interest in your life.  I know you are an adult but remember all that I wrote to you on your 18th birthday huh? Please, before, you commit yourself totally into this relationship, I want you to find out some important fact about your new found love, because, who knows, the relationship might lead to the altar, so be prepared.

                                 What tribe is he from? I am asking because, of culture. You see, every tribe do have a peculiar custom, which you might not like, but must adhere to, if married to a man from there! This can cause friction in the relationship, if you don't obey. I know, we have evolved from the archaic age to civilization, but seeds had been sown over the years, and the trees are still producing fruits! If you doubt me, why do we still hear discriminatory words about all tribes? Afterall, our fore-fathers who started all these have long left this realm, but the practices still continued, even after the coming of religion! Which is to tell you that, culture is used as a controlling and correcting tool! Do you know that in a tribe, a husband can give his wife out to keep a special guest company in his home? Or Agama lizard prepared for a new mother to eat? What of Female Genital Mutilation that is still practiced in some tribes, regardless of the awareness  of the dangers it involves? So, send me the name of his tribe, and I will ask people from similar tribe to tell me the good and bad cultural practices, you can ask for opinion from any online forum of your choice.

                                     What faith does he practice? Our society believes a woman has no religion, but to follow whichever her husband practices. Think deep and discuss  in details with him to know his stand. Ask yourself, are you ready to comprise to his own faith? The decision is solely yours to make, because salvation is personal. But I will truly appreciate it, if you continue in the faith I brought you up with, because, each faith comes with it's own beliefs and challenges. If he is of the same faith with you, then where does he worship? I ask, because, I have seen situation, where a wife don't want to worship in the same place with her husband, until she was forced!

                                       Does he earn a steady monthly income? I am not asking how much he earns or how rich?, rather is it regular? I am not talking about having many 'irons' in the fire, but his 'irons' are already hot and cast! Money matters in a relationship! Don't be deceived by what you read and watch! When there is a steady income into the home, you both can spend within your budget! Remember, how I taught you to be prudent and always save for the rainy days. I will not encourage you to be a SAHM, nor be the breadwinner! Don't go showing you can do it all, because he might relax on his responsibilities! Simply use your discretion to know where to draw the line! Now, don't go all wifey on him, by doing all his chores at home! Whenever you visit, assist if you find him doing his chores, cook sometimes when you are hungry or not going out for dinner, but don't ever take it as your responsibility to look after him, until he puts a ring on your finger! Men see it as a desperate act! Never! Never! You move in with him, until he does the right thing!

                                     The most important question, I want to ask is; What's his genotype? You know, you are AS, so your future spouse must be AA! This should be the first question that should always come to your mind when on the first date! I believe in prevention is better than cure! You are educated and enlightened to know the implications of marrying someone in future with similar genotype. Again, don't be carried away with technology, testimonies of people or faith talk, because, I do not believe in tempting the LORD our GOD! Will you see fire and willingly go and put your hands inside simply because you know, you can be cured? You own your future children the obligation of keeping them healthy! Afterall, they did not ask to be born! Are you not happy living a healthy life? Why then will you think of subjecting your own flesh and blood to years of endless pains because of your love, which might not stand the pressure and financial burden when the crisis starts! Remember when you had fever; You cried and prayed for quick recovery? Imagine, putting a child through that all the days of his or her life!
                                  My dearest daughter, these are the questions, I want you to ponder on, and arrive at the answers before you commit yourself fully into this new relationship, because it is always difficult to break off later when you find out, there are irreconcilable differences! Like I said before in your 18th birthday letter, love ain't enough to keep a relationship going, neither sex! But, a lot of factors as I mentioned above. Take care my dear, I will always be praying for you.
Loving hugs.

                                                                                        Yours Momma.


Monday, December 01, 2014


Music is blaring through my walls as I write this. My neighbour upstairs is in a celebration mood. Apart from the music, the children can make noise ehn! Running up and down the stairs and in their apartment. I dey hear am no be small! I kept quiet because I also have children, but one morning, one of them stomped so hard on the floor that the ceiling fan wobbled, and the lights flickered. I had to confront my neighbor for the first time! Because I will be held liable for any damage in the apartment!  Infact, I have to pause as I was updating this post to confront them, when the lights in my sitting room flickered due to the ruckus they were making up there. I have the option of either reporting to the management or calling the police, but I chose dialogue, and their parents apologized ... all is calm now ... hopefully it will remain so o!

garbage site

I went  to throw away the garbage one morning and saw one of the maintenance guy cleaning the environment, and he was grumbling that he cleaned the garbage site the previous day, only for him to come the next day,and saw the same bags on the floor! Nah everywhere this problem dey fa?... remember my water and waste post in my old blog? I understood him; I mean, how many seconds will it take to throw it through the chute? There was a time, the management told residents that, children who were not tall enough to throw the garbage should not be sent. I have this theory that, some goes out very early and come back very late, so they just open their car door, and fling it out. And I have seen scavengers ... I have forgotten the name we call them in 9ja oo ... not kolele ... searching for metals to pick from inside the garbage bin into their trucks. Remember, I said in my relocation post that people do throw out a lot of household items, especially when moving out.

Violation sticker, $2,000 fine!

What about outright disobeying of the law huh? One day, a maintenance guy knocked on my door to ask if I was the one that placed a barbecue grill outside the apartment? I said no. The guy, then placed another violation sticker on the entrance door. Last week, I came out and saw two barbecue grills in front! One of them used it on weekend, close to the entrance! The wind was blowing the sparks around! Shior!  Both grills are still there as I am typing o! There are public grills for residents to use ... humans are the same all over o jare! Nah only environment different jor!

My neighbourhood is peaceful. It is only busy in the mornings and evenings when children and parents are off to and back from school and work. The afternoons are quiettt...shhh. Whenever I check the mail I might be the only one walking. But during summer, activities are more at the pool side. I find it amusing whenever I hear a knock on my door and when they see my face, they ask 'Do you know any Spanish speaking family here? I simply point opposite and upstairs. They are preachers and salespeople. Talking of salespeople, nah everywhere hustling spirit dey oo. The women have hand-knitted baby shawls and chair covers for sale. While the men are selling CDS and locally made stain remover ... like the type sold inside buses back home. I no buy o!

There are many dogs in my neighbourhood. HUMPH! There was one that looked like wolf o!  All white! And Tall! They've moved out, if not I will have showed you guys a pic, but I googled something similar. I didn't near that dog even when on leash! Pit-bulls nko? I really dunno why that kind of animal should be kept as pet! One day, the owner allowed it on the grass to poo, nah so I tanda, for where I dey oo, I refused to move an inch, even when the owner came to hold the leash, I still walked very close to the building, incase of anything, I go dive enter any apartment o! Chihuahuas are all time favourites here! I see few cats looking out of the apartment windows, one was always following me whenever, I came out, nah so I ask am if dem send am come? 'Tell dem say, you no see me at all! at all! Abeg I no fit shout o jare! ahahahaha.

E se o for reading my neighbourhood  tori!
Happy new month to y'all! :D

Friday, November 28, 2014


Yes o!  I so like Phoenix 'J'! Always dashing me award from left, right and center!  She gave me the liebster award, sisterhood award, now, the sunshine award! Thank
you so much my blog-sistah.

I have to say 11 things about myself and answer the questions from 'J'. I once said much about myself here and here. But it's still fun to talk about oneself again huh? #side-eye to anybody who does not agree#
Here are more things about me you don't know;
i} I am the over-protective type.
ii} I am NOT a competitive person. 
iii} I love dancing! 
iv} I always apologize to anybody who tells me I offend them.
v} I avoid people that talk religiously every second! 
vi} I can always improvise!

vii} I like people that don't pretend! I keep my distance from effizy people.

viii} I don't like horror, futuristic or sci-fic movies. 
ix} I so like turkey and titus fish ehn! 
x} When I like a particular design of cloth or shoe, I buy different colours.
xi} I tease a lot!
OK! Now, to 'J's questions;
1) is there any friend you haven’t spoken to in donkey years? Would you ring them if given the chance. Nope.
2) what’s your thought on the Bill Cosby rape news? I plead the 5th.  
3) bookstore or library? Bookstore.
4) fix it or get a replacement? Fix it.
5) damsel in distress or wonder woman? Wonder woman.
Well friends, daz all about moi! Thank you :D

Thursday, November 27, 2014


Hey! Its thanksgiving day! A well celebrated day in yankee o! Today happens to be my baby's 11th month birthday also! You think, I won't mention it huh? *side-eye*... ahaha. Yep! You guess right ... I am so happy! It's like Christmas here o! Schools are out for a week! The preparation for the upcoming black Friday night is on! My first thanksgiving experience saw me receiving turkey  from new friends I made, and the store I bought my groceries gave free turkey on every $40:00 purchase! I left them all in the freezer for months because I didn't know what to do with them! I later used it to prepare stew o jare! On my 2nd thanksgiving experience, I bought one and baked it as I saw in y-tube ... hmm ...I try small ... ahahaha. Now! This is my 3rd time of celebrating thanksgiving with the people of the land of liberty and the brave! Ye-haw! Oh! Yes! My turkey is slowly baking in the oven as I type.


It's a tradition to say all things one is thankful for. My list is endless because I don't know where and how to start. GOD is too good to I and my family. Thus, I will summarize it chronologically.
LORD, I am thankful:
1}For my parents well-being.I love them so much, and pray for longevity for them.

2}For my siblings;For the bond that exist between us, that can never be broken.

3}For seeing me through my education, NYSC, and jobs.

4}For my marriage;For giving me a caring, gentle and hard-working husband, who  protects me from anybody who dabbles into our business!

5}For my children;You saw me through 5 deliveries and gave me strength to care for them.  And You blessed them all! I am eternally grateful daddy.

6}For bringing I and my family to America;You made me have the last laugh sir! You made us find favour with people, and met us at our hour of need always.

7} And above all, for Your divine protection all over us, fighting our battles for us, Indeed! Our names are written on Your palms and our future are in Your hands.

Be glorified oh Lord! The GOD of Moses, Isaiah and Jeremiah.

Happy thanksgiving! :D

Enjoy again, another of my fav song;

Saturday, November 22, 2014


A lady was introduced to a man by a pastor, since both were legal immigrants and at marriageable age. She was told he is a doctor, and was happy to hook up with him, but after few dates, she found out he was not a practicing doctor in yankee but in 9ja, and does survival job here. Hence, she backed out of the relationship. Of course,
friends of the man, were angry with her, but I wasn't, and simply told them, she knew what she wanted and walked out. After all, a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage abi? Ha! It became an argument o! I said, 'lets put sentiments aside and analysis the situation:

She might have seen what lies ahead, and weighed the pro and cons, and realized she cannot deal, so she let go! You see, as a doctor back home, if he wants to practice here, he has to be re-certified. As a legal immigrant, he can apply for loan/grant and work part-time while doing that. Now, if this lady marries him, the financial burden will fall on her also! Like I always say, everybody came here to seek for greener pastures! It's all about survival! So who wants to carry another person wahala for head?! She might have her own financial obligations back home and money is always the biggest issue in marriage... not infidelity as y'all might think!

I said in an older post that we humans are hypocritical, and of course, many disagreed with me. But I stand on it. I asked them, if the lady happens to be related to them, will they advise her to marry him seeing what might lie ahead? Like I said in my mini-e-book, love is not enough in a relationship, but perseverance. There is a lady here, who is the bread winner of her family back home. She tried to bring her younger sister to hustle with her and reduce the burden on her, but it didn't work out. She also wanted her fiance to relocate, but her family grumbled about it because they have seen him with other babes and they were afraid that if he comes over, he will be dependent on her for a while and be in control of their finances as the head of the family, which will affect the flow of cash to them! Well, their prayers were answered, he was not granted visa also!

I know, some might dislike me for saying all these, but this is the bitter truth! When it comes to choosing a spouse, love alone ain't enough! So many things are put into consideration! Our sentiments most times clouds our thinking; Like what happened to a friend of mine; He was in love with this beautiful lady, whose mother was hell bent against the relationship. My empathy was with the guy and wonder why the lady's mum did not understand they were in love! Eventually, she died after a brief illness and fingers were pointed at her mother. He mourned her and  continued with his life..... years later, as I remember the whole thing, my empathy went to the mother instead, because, I am no longer the 22 year old naive lady who saw the world through rosy-eyes, but an older woman, who knows that, the words; 'I love you', will not put food on the table, or pay rent or school fees or hospital bill! Rather, 'love' will jump out of the window when the quarrels start!

Let me use this opportunity to advise young couples in love, to try and listen to words from the elders. Like I said in my parenting post, every parents wants their child to be an improved version of avoid the same mistakes they made in the past , hence, they might come out sounding harsh. I know, love can block out all rational reasoning, but take a breather and ask why they want you to break off the relationship. Some parents do turn around after explaining their fears away persuasively. While some still remain adamant! Then the child should let go! My advise to parents is that, give cogent or valid reasons for going against your child's choice of spouse. It's not gra-gra, it's simply dialogue! And if the child is adamant on marrying his or her choice, then let it be! I will also admonish parents not to poison their children mind against any of their relatives who was not in support of their union in the first place, because when the children grows older and begins to understand the issues of life, their view might change and GOD forbid, the parents utter any word of disagreement with their  choice of spouse in future, the animosity they felt for that particular relative will be turned on them!

Monday, November 17, 2014


A big thank you to everyone who subscribed to my mini e-book. I
explained in my previous post that Jummy, the Good Naija Girl, encouraged me to write an e-book, because I have so much to say on some issues, but summarize so as not to have long posts. 

I know, time is of the essence to everybody and  we relax whenever chance we get with a book. Hence, I made my first free e- book very easy to read without losing the message.

All credits go to Good Naija Girl, for editing, formatting and designing the e-book. She is a knowledgeable lady. My main e -book is on relocating, which  I am working on and will be out next year. It's a detailed guide-book to help legal immigrants who are relocating to settle down quickly without stress.

Thank you.
Happy thanksgiving in advance :D

Saturday, November 08, 2014


Hello, my friends, I believe many of you have seen the recent changes in my blog huh? All these changes came about, at the hands of a kind blogger, who took her time to educate and encourage me more on blogging tips, and to be active on face-book. She designed the Fb logo!

She started by telling me that, Nitty-gritty is a brand, that many still knows me by that name, I then, remember, Honey dame said; 'I will always be her Nitty!' And I should get a domain, because my blog, do give out valuable information on, housekeeping, parenting and especially on relocating, so hubby got a domain for me. That was what Phoenix 'J' noticed 2 weeks ago when she clicked on my   old newdawn40.blogspsot and she was redirected to

The next thing she said, saw me running and hiding under the table, but she pulled me out with her sweet words and convinced me I have so much to say on issues, but to avoid so long a post, I summarized them, so why don't I put it into an e-book! Again, I remember, many have told me in the past, I should write a book, I simply grinned and shyly walked away, because I didn't think, I have what it takes to be a writer. My typos were enough, to discourage anybody from reading sef! She agreed to bear the pain of reading my first draft. And oh boy! Did she make so many corrections! I salute her for not cringing when reading o! And she designed the cover page! Isn't she so talented?

I was really surprised to hear from her for the first time, because, before I deleted my old blog, I was not a regular visitor to her blog, and I have never communicated with her in any form, that is why, I am overwhelmed with this show of love from her, which made me to understand  Abiola's love letter the more.  She said, she is overwhelmed with my thankfulness and, appreciates my appreciation. Ha! She does not know me o! I am the type that can greet 10x for a good deed, and her kindness is a virtue that is not common in a competitive world.

It's said, honour should be given to whom it is due, and be thankful for every good deed done at night, so the doer can perform a bigger one in the morning! Thus, to Jummy, the Good Niaja Girl, I say another big thank you, for everything! And to every giving you gave,  a good measure, will be pressed down, shaken together, and running over you, in Jesus Name. AMEN! E-HUG.
Have a fulfilled week ahead everyone.

Tuesday, November 04, 2014


I was surprised when I found out on my arrival that,  there was no washing and drying machine inside many of the apartments, but laundromats. #see me that washed with my hands in 9ja, before hubby bought washing machine for our 10th anniversary,  am not serious o jare!# Jokes apart though, my expectations were high. I was told if I buy the machines and installed, the management would charge me extra for water. Ok! I went to find out the cost of both machines and installation, lets just say, the total cost brought me down to reality with a crashing sound! So, off to laundromat I waka go jor!

This is one of the small machines, see those flags up there? No 9ja flag there o! But other Africa countries dey!

Laundromats are within walking distances of some residential buildings, so if you don't drive, you can push a trolley. The residential complex I stay have 2 laundromats within, I don't use them because, I have to pay with card and it's not economical for my large family. The laundromat, is a place to observe different characters; Like one lady I noticed; She only brings in 2 pieces of clothing for washing and she wears gloves to handle them! Yep! It's her clothes alright, because she puts them on immediately after drying.

Laundry is  good business here! Clothes are pampered with different products, and carefully folded into perfect squares.  Even undies sef, dem fold! SHIOR! But some don't bother to fold, they put all their dried clothes into a new garbage bag. As for me, I simply go, 1, 2, 3, 4.... fiam! ...into the basket! I don't have the patience of these women  who will stretch it out on the table, fold the garters to get the crisp edges, then smooth it ,that it looks ironized. {coining my own word :) So, one day, I decided to copy their method..... ..nobody told me to stop, when my waist began to hurt and I was spending more than 2 hours in the laundromat. #my pickins would do it @ home o jare!#
One has to know how to manage money in the laundromat, or else, it would go down the drain! My first time, I put too much coins into the dryer, that the owner was magnanimous enough to refund back some of my money. Imagine me putting $15 in a dryer! I was not used to the currency then, I was just slotting it in, thinking the more the coins, the hotter and faster it would be. #chei! maths I no kukukma sabi!# A quarter is for 10 minutes drying.

I lost lot of quarters on laundry until I got the hang of it by learning from other women. Now,I spend $5 less for my weekly washing.  I told hubby that any apartment we move to in future MUST have washing and drying machines because on bad weather days, we cannot move out, and some days we are so busy, and the clothes will  pile up.There is nowhere to dry them even if I wash with my hands in the bath tub!

Pillows drying in the dryer
Pillows, sneakers, foot-mats, and rugs are also washed and dried in these machines! As long as it can fit into the machines, it is washable! At first, I was uncomfortable with it, imagining the type of germs that would be in the machines, but I was assured, there was none. Some people bring along anti-bacteria spray to disinfect inside the washing machine first before use. I don't blame them, because on few instances, soiled clothes from  homes and lodges were brought there. because  their personal machines developed fault. 

see that rug for washing?
When back home, I washed my bed-sheets every week because of heat, now I do every 2 weeks because we don't sweat. I washed my towels every 2 weeks back home because I could dry them in the sun, but here every week, because I dry them indoors. I wash the blankets every 3 weeks. Washing pillows, was a new tip I came to learn here. Back home, I dried the pillows under the sun, and when the covering-cloth becomes old, I loose it, pour out the fillings on a mat to dry under the sun, then throwaway the old clothing, find an old pillow-case and stuff it with the well dried fillings, then sew it back. If you are good at hand-stitching, do it or call 'obioma' [free-lance tailors that hawk their services}. Out of curiosity I opened a pillow to see the type of fillings used that made it easy to wash and fast to dry; It was white fiber material, no wonder! I now wash my pillows.

Laundry is one of the tedious and timing consuming chores at home, especially in a large family. Back home, washer men and women are hired by people who can afford it. Now, washing machines are taking over , but the epileptic supply of electricity still makes it difficult to use the machines often. Some have heavy duty diesel generators that can power the machines, but at what cost? Hence, many still employ the services of dry-cleaners and washer wo/men. Some wash everyday, weekly or bi-weekly, depending on their lifestyle and size of family.

Have a blessed week ahead.

Friday, October 31, 2014


The environment one grows up from, shapes his/her perspective to life and how they handle different issues that confronts them. Ever since, I crossed the 7 seas to berth on the land of liberty and brave, my perspective to some issues have taken a 360 degree turn! The society, I found myself teaches one to respect boundaries, and some things are privileges and not rights! 

Last month, my neigbour's son celebrated his birthday; A bouncing castle was mounted outside, while the celebrant and other children were all playing outside. 

They rushed into the bouncing castle, jumping, sliding and squealing with excitement. Later, the other children left after an adult from the celebrant's apartment went to meet them, and it was deflated immediately, until their guests began to arrive and it was inflated back. Instinctively, I knew, what it was all about! Was I surprised? Absolutely not! Why? Because I have come to understand the society I now live; You do not encroach on other people's space!  If it was back home, this happened, the parents of the other children would not be happy with the celebrants!

One evening, my AA neighbour asked us to do her a problem we said... but when she told us, it's to drive her to pick a car her relative bought for her in a dealer's shop, we hesitated...she assured us the car was paid and insured for...but we politely declined because we were trying to be careful. Did she get angry? NO! She said, she understood, and that didn't stop her friendliness towards us. I was impressed! Because if it was a fellow Nigerian, she would have behaved otherwise! Remember, this story? It made me realized that, being friends, does not mean, we should take things for granted!

I have come to understand better, the concept of marriage! It is so different from how it is portrayed back home! The husbands here wants their wives to enjoy their marriage! Though, they are not so religious like we Nigerians, they practice and understand the term 'helpmate'... and not disguising 'servitude' with the word  ... 'submissive'! The reason divorce is high is because of  infidelity...the wives can't condone or forgive such betrayal!

Personally, I had never hidden my intolerance for un-invited guests, and I was teased and cussed out sometimes. But coming here,  it made me realized that, I was not weird in any way but just simply being mee! So I always call ahead before any visit.  I was impressed that 2 Nigerians from European country, came visiting a mutual friend of ours, and made reservations in a hotel. But a fellow Nigerian came from another state within US to visit this same mutual friend, but refused to stay in a hotel! Rather, he slept in his host tiny apartment!Of course, they complained!

Finally, I don't see being a housewife as a shameful thing again! Back home, I kept that info to myself when in a public gathering, because of the looks and snide remarks. Many Nigerians see housewives as lazy! Here, we are called stay-at-home-mum {SAHM} or home makers, because they appreciate the sacrifice, and child-care is not cheap, unlike back home. Thus, I wear my SAHM badge with pride!

Happy November month ahead people!  :D

Tuesday, October 21, 2014


Relocating to yankee? Here are few tips for you from my little experience; #long
post alert#

The kind of  host a relocat-ee  stays with, would determine how fast s/he would settle down in yankee. Some host have little or no info about some facts, thus, going around in circle. Or some host don't want to share some important info they learnt from a bitter /hard experience, thus, wants his/her guest to go through the same thing! Some host wants to take advantage of the naivety of a JJC to his/her benefits! Hence, every relocat-ee MUST do some basic research before leaving the shores of their father's land.

First, if a relocat-ee, have several options of where to stay in yankee, before filling out the contact of a host on the form, please go online and find out facts about that state, especially the employment rate! What I mean is that; If you have a relative and friend in Ohio and NY, google out the cost of living, how fast can one get a job in both states and compare. Go to forums like Nairaland and ask questions. But if you have only an option, no problem, go there with the mindset that, you can move to another state if your host state is not favourable to you. 

Research on how to prepare Resume/CV. Like I said in an older post, yankee employers don't like stories! Simply go straight to the point! Back home, the more the pages of your CV, shows how experienced you are and high chances of getting the job. Not so here! A page is enough for anybody with less than 10 years experience! 2 pages for more than 10 years experience. Each CV is written to suit a particular job requirement, because employers look out for some key words, and if missing, the computer system is programmed to take it to trash! So you might end up having several CVs, because one CV cannot be used to apply for different jobs as done back home. Thus, have a good filing system, to know which CV you used for a particular vacancy, so when called, you won't be confused. Like I said in an older post, whatever your story is, stick to it!

While back home before relocating, learn how to DRIVE! Ladies, learn how to braid, fix and cut hair, likewise men should know how to cut their hair themselves. DIY is a norm here, to save cost. Ladies, if possible, learn how to operate a sewing machine to patch clothes or fix new zips, especially if you have kids, because you would end up throwing away clothes everytime there is a little incident, because the cost of repairing a torn cloth, is as good as adding money and buying another, that is if you find an African that sews in your area! Still on clothes, PLEASE DON'T THROW AWAY OR DASH OUT ALL YOUR CLOTHES and FOOTWEARS with the intention of shopping here. Because, you are not coming as a tourist, but to live here, hence, you MUST be very prudent! Simply buy the basics like winter clothings and footwears.

Bring a reasonable amount of money! When relocating, it's not time to do father xmas for people back home. Quietly do your preparation, converting all your money. Because, no amount of Millions of Naira you convert to dollars, would be enough! Especially if you have kids, because your host would expect you to take care of your expenses after  few days or a week in his home or contribute to the upkeep. Now, this is where taking advantage comes in! If some host knows how much brought in, they would make sure you deplete that money and be at their mercy! No! I am not exaggerating or being mischievous! Some Diasporas are the s***! One told me it is done out of envy, so that the relocat-ee would suffer some hardship as they did! Another told me, he had to send his money back home, when his host is always complaining of no money, while he continuously foots the bill at home.  Another said, his host discouraged him to get his own apartment because he was the one paying most of the bills! So, after getting your #SSN few weeks of arrival open an account immediately! Please, don't tell nobody the total cash your brought in, no matter what! If it's above $10k, declare it at the customs as the rule says.
Getting an apartment is the next agenda on arrival. I explained it here. Let me add that  relocat-ee should google about the crime rate in the area and the ranking of schools. You see, public schools are rated accordingly, and it usually determines where families  finally settle down.  If Single or no kids yet, then don't bother, simply avoid areas that have high crime rate. I observed that any district that schools are located or nursing homes, that place is very safe. More-ever, don't go furnishing your homes with all gadgets, a new job can determine if you would move or not! So getting a U-Haul, and travelling on road to another city or state can be tiring. So, buy the basics; Mattress, bedsheets, blankets, few utensils for cooking and eating. Curtains for window if no blinds. A man said he and his family slept on duvets laid on the floor for many months before he bought mattress because they were saving their cash. One said, it is not advisable to completely furnish an apartment, because, you might end up throwing away most of the stuff when moving. Which is true, because I do see a lot of household items by the garbage site, some people pick the items they need. So a relocat-ee should manage as much as possible, until s/he knows and decides to settle down finally in a particular state or city.

This is my advise to couples with kids. PLEASE, be mindful of whom you pick as friends. Some make friends because of the benefits they would get from you. keep ALL important info to yourselves, your #SSN, Passwords, Pin numbers. Guys are not smiling here o! Identity theft is a big issue here. PLEASE, don't take decisions that would affect your children in future, no matter what!

I have so much to talk about, but would stop, so as not to make this post tiring. Any thing a reloct-ee wants to know is at the tips of their! Please be careful of scammers! Ok! Bye-bye.

Sunday, October 19, 2014


We make friends as we embark on this journey called life, and some friends have become close like sisters. It is not different in the virtual life either, where we make blogger-friends, who later become blogger-sistahs. I have found another one in Phoenix 'J'. Thank you sistah, for this awesome acknowledgement from you as a fellow blogger-sistah. She is curious to know if I have ever been in a situation I couldn’t control? How did I get out of it? If I was in a situation I couldn’t control, how would I handle it? Of course, the odds were/are definitely against me.

Yes, I was in such a situation few years ago. It was really a trying period for me. Some days I cried, some days I vented, some days I talked about it to my confidante. And  I spoke to GOD. Then I simply let it be, and ride with the tide and see where it would take me to, and let time begin the healing process.

My blogger-sistahs are; Sting, Sykik, Abiola, 9jamum and DOHK. I know 9jamum and DOHK are MIA, but I just want them to know I consider them as sistahs and miss them. So whenever, they decide to blog again, they owe me answer to my question; If you have an opportunity to change something about your physical features and Character, which would it be?
Have a blessed week ahead.

Monday, October 13, 2014


This is all about MOI!

Well! Ms Cookie wants you all to know 20 random things about moi! Thank you dearie. Hmmm, do I have up to 20? #thinking and ticking them off on my fingers and toes# I would cheat with My 7's and Phoenix liebster Q&A.  

Here goes! #excited#

1}I am an introvert. I know how to entertain myself by reading, writing and watching movies. Comedies and detective dramas are my favourites.

2}I seldom listen to the radio, but I like playing music. P-square is my fav  9ja artiste, also, Don Williams, Kenny Rogers and ABBA. Y-e-a-h! I know! Am old school!

3}I don't like visiting, and don't like people visiting too much either! I prefer the 'August visitors', because I know there is a specific reason for coming out. All these I-just-come-visit-guests, irks me! Siddon for ya house!

4}I am not an event-goer! I can attend the obligatory naming and birthday ceremonies. I would rather have a personal or family outing.

5}I enjoy re-arranging items and furnitures in my home, and throwing away stuff I don't use much, because I dislike clutter!

6}I like preparing easy and quick meals. I doff my hat for women who come up with new recipes and stay long in the kitchen o.

7}Black, brown, gold and silver are the only colours I like picking when buying foot wears and bags. For clothes, I go for darker colours.

8}I don't like noodles, coke, chocolate, candy, and bubble gum.

9}Banana and Pineapple are my favourite fruits.

10}OH YEAH! I LOVE vanilla cake!

11}I can be honest to a fault sometimes and few-times I shot myself on my foot! And do I learn from it? N-A-Y!!! A loved one once told me I should have a limit, so that my words don't come back to bite me! LORD help me!

12}I am easily contented. Am not difficult to please at all! Simple things gives me satisfaction and pleasure.

13}I prefer eating from plastic plates and cups, my friend complained taya! I would try for few days to use breakable plates, but revert back!

14}I am not a make-up person. But I apply only mascara and eye shadow when I attend an event.

15}I like short wigs with fringe.

16}When I make a friend, I stay loyal to such a friend until I read the hand writing on the wall, and I go back into my shell.
17}I know many would not believe this next one I am about to say, due to my precedent.....I am not confrontational! 'Yeah right?' I can hear the whispers o...ahahha. I can take a longer path just to avoid trouble, but if the trouble comes across my path, that is when I bare my fangs. Why? Because I know when angry, I lash out, not caring where I hit! Until the damage it's done, and I become remorseful. I dislike such feelings, thus, I walk away or keep silent.

18}Do you know that, I don't care about bling-bling or studs? And I am not materialistic at all! This is not because I am not earning an income, it's a thing in me friends and loved ones have noticed and wondered what kind of person I am! One time, my mum bought a tiny  gold purse from her friend who traveled to dubai for my birthday, I gave it out! Mum was livid! I apologized, but since then, she came to understand me better.

19}I like down to earth people! And people with humour. Because, I tease and joke a lot with my loved ones. So I feel awkward with people that are too serious, moody or evasive.

20}I am not the romantic type! I don't coo or swoon over flowers and the whatsnot! Truly speaking, I don't understand the teddy bear, chocolate and cards display of love. And talking of cards, please, use the #50 or #100 to buy something useful for me instead, then use your mouth to tell me your feelings. I don't like PDA!!!!! My hubby had to adjust when he saw I was too blunt to a fault! When I want something, I simply ask! When I want to buy a present, I go for something he would use and not design a plague or card!

Ok! My guys! You've got my 20's! And I am interested to know 20 facts about  Sting, Abiola, Phoenix, Yankee4life . OOPS!  It's 11:52a.m Gat to weave my gals hair. Today is a public holiday; Columbus day! Have a fulfilled week ahead y'all. 

Thursday, October 09, 2014


Humph! Another gbege don shele for our 9ja community o! A lover recorded their 'act' un-knowningly to his married female lover whose first child is in college, and
shared it with his friends. It eventually got to the woman and her family, nah so kasala burst o! The woman is suicidal now as I hear. 'Why did he do it?' I asked. Black-mail? Revenge? Spite?

Sunday, October 05, 2014


Remembered, I talked about food management in a previous post? Consider dish washing as a sequel. As petty this sounds, I have heard about quarrels
it has caused. This is a task carried out mostly by females and few males in Nigeria. I have observed 2 different routines:

There is a routine, where all plates are gathered after a meal, and only a member of the family would clean the dishes. Now, the member could be the eldest or youngest, or the person in charge of kitchen affairs, or whose turn to wash for that particular day. What I don't like about this method is that, after the dishes are washed, someone might use a cup or plate and leave it in the sink for the person in charge to come and wash! This is so annoying, especially, if the person whose turn it was, went out, and came back to see a pile of dirty dishes waiting for him/her to wash! My second dislike is that dishes would be placed haphazardly in the sink! And if not washed quickly, it is invitation to roaches! What about the smell from left overs?

The second routine is wash as you eat! Every member washes their plates immediately after use! Except dishes used by the parents, which is washed by the person who clears the table. The disadvantage of this method is that, some members might not wash it well! And if parents do not call a particular person to clear the dishes, everybody would form busy or stay in their rooms. And parents might be calling only one particular member of the family always! #unfair#

I prefer the wash-as-you-go-routine. Because it gives everybody a sense of responsibility. And it makes the kitchen look neat always, and reduces bugs visits! When I cook, I wash as I use any utensils.  When I eat, I make a mental note to know whom I called  last  time to clear the dishes, so that there would be a balance. I started teaching each of my kids to wash dishes from 6 years old. I was a reluctant learner when my mum was teaching me at age 6 , but the day she beat shege comot for my body when I broke her best dishes out of annoyance, ehn! I changed by force by fire o! No try my mama conk for head o! Abi nah the ear-twisting? chai!

Dish washer is in some leased apartments here. I don't use mine. I didn't know how to operate it initially, until a friend visited and saw me washing with my hands, she showed me how and told me it's a different liquid soap I needed from what I was using. WHOSAI! I still wash with my hands o jare!  Each member of my family uses 1-2 dishes for each meal, and we don't get hungry the same time, so why load the dish washer with few plates and waste time, water, and electricity? Since, I have to first rinse the plates with my hands before loading the machine, why not kukuma, wash the plates ke? I realized some Nigerians and AA don't use it either! One AA told me, she feels her dishes don't get well-cleaned. It's not economical to some. Two said they use only paper-plates in their homes, because they are tired after the day's hustle. Here, guests clean up after themselves when served food, whether paper or breakable or china plates were used. Unlike back home, it is considered rude to allow guests to do such!

 More-over, America husbands wash dishes here! But nathing for our married 9ja bros o,esp when dem pickins dey? I say forget that one! # in MJ voice# {Watched one of her movies yesterday, I laughed at her mannerism}

Have a better week ahead guys :)

Wednesday, October 01, 2014


I had already prepared the topic I wanted to discuss today, only to lose interest when I heard about the Ebola news. I just weak! I felt the same fiery anger when it happened in  Nigeria! I don't blame the citizens for their vexation, when I read some comments.

What is so important in visiting now ehn? See the wahala the visitor don bring for him host now? I can just imagine the ripple this is causing! Chai! The bad-belle wen dem get for dudu before, go kukuma increase fa!

I know he will be cured, but at whose expense? How can this be curtailed? By closing all the borders from the affected countries? or Quarantine every traveler from the countries for 21 days?

Nigeria is celebrating her 54th birthday...Happy independence.
Ok guys, it's 12:21a.m morning to y'all...nothing good about it! SIGH!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014


Captivating title huh? I watched out of curiosity because it was rated 2. I gave it 5 stars and decided to tell y'all about it, because it raised valid point. If you have not watched it before, please do so
 with an open-mind to understand the message passed:

GOD is not a Christian or a Jew or a Muslim or a Hindu, GOD is simply L-O-V-E! HE wants us to give to the poor rather than erecting edifice and performing activities in HIS name!

It's about time we all learn to ask questions! I believe GOD can appear to anybody in whatever form HE likes, and still pass the same message because HE is not an author of confusion! It's humans that create the confusion for personal gains! HE is AGAINST any form of IDOL WORSHIPPING! Your idol can be your jewelries, clothings, money, spouse or a person.The scripture says, we should test all spirits by asking whom they serve? And we should all work out our own salvation with trembling and fears. 

Sunday, September 21, 2014


Hubby came home with red eyes. I asked, 'what happened?' He said he had been crying since he watched a video sent to him. He showed us. We were all crying.My 6 year old son was saying, 'mummy, let her stop! Let her stop!'  'Was she arrested? Our children asked. I replied, 'I don't know, but will google her. Only for my  6 year old son to climb on my bed this early morning to ask me,'if I had googled her?' Knowing how determined he can be when he wants something, I said, 'yes, she was arrested and punished in the prison'. He smiled, with a satisfactory nod and went back to his room.  PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HER AFTER SHE WAS RELEASED FROM JAIL #crying#

Why such cruelty to a child? why? And from a MOTHER? Why such anger? #crying#

Last week, the news showed a nanny slapping a 3-4 months baby thrice on the face! She didn't know her employer planted a camera in the house to a live feed. I was mad! Creche still remains the best if I may advise working mothers.

Good-morning to y'all. It's 9:36a.m.
P.s. Is September 22nd  resumption date still standing?
p.s.s. 22nd September is my dad's birthday. Please join me to thank GOD for HIS grace upon my dad.