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Sunday, February 19, 2017

GENDER EQUALITY IN NIGERIA.

I wanted the dust raised by the gender equality argument in Nigeria to calm down before I throw in my own 2 cents into the coffers. It has been argued that the bill is not about physical and biological equality, rather socio-eco-political. OK! We then agree that men are stronger, because we want them to change the car tires, open that jar of prickles, lift heavy items,  and go to wars right? Just as we know they have no business in getting pregnant and having PMS, yes? What we want is equal wages for the same jobs, to be governors/presidents, and to able to take major decisions without their consents, abi?

Then why do we tell them; 'Be a man!' Or 'You are a man, or walk like a man? Because we have high expectation from them! I have not talked about money yet ... many women are breadwinners in their household, and some earn far more than men, but deep down, they want the men to bore the major expenses in the home,or during dates. while they chip in. Valentine day celebration just passed, and women were expecting more from their husbands and boyfriends than what they were giving! I said it in an old blogsville interview when asked if there is equality between male and female? I replied NO.The insults that followed ehen? And I still stand on it!

Equality in a layman's understanding is 50-50 of ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! Our fore bearers fought for RIGHT TO WORK! RIGHT TO VOTE! And are still fighting for THE RIGHT TO HAVE SAME WAGES FOR THE SAME JOB DESCRIPTION! I am emphasizing on the word RIGHT, which is different from EQUAL! 'What is your point?' You might all ask? Simple! They picked their battles! 

Again, I ask, What are Nigerian women fighting for? In summary,they are fighting against inhuman or degrading treatment of women! Who does not like to be treated with respect huh? IF WE WOMEN DON'T RESPECT OURSELVES! THEN HOW DO YOU WANT THE MEN FOLK TO RESPECT US? 
Is it the nude pictures?
is it calling each other 'ho'?
Is it passing another man's child to another?
Is it betraying a friend's/sister's trust by sleeping with their husbands/boyfriends?
Is it fighting in public over a man?
Is it using 'bottom power' to get all juicy jobs/contracts/pass exams?
LADIES! RESPECT IS EARNED!IT IS EARNED! And the men have earned it in many ways! I can imagine, how the men might have laughed reading some of the issues raised in the bill,because they know, what our gender is capable of at the right price!

I know some might say, I am derailing off the track, that this is not what the bill was actually talking about! Really? You cannot address one and leave the other! NO MA! All are interlinked! OKAY! If not that, amongst we women, there is discrimination! Is it in the office? Or blogs? or Meetings? We shame the uneducated woman! We shame women that don't have economy power! We body-shame other women! 

Do you know the battles we should pick,that will get global attention? 
FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION!
MEN NOT PAYING REASONABLE CHILD SUPPORT AND ALIMONY,
IN-LAWS TAKING PROPERTIES FROM WIDOWS!

I did not put up early marriage up there, because if a man approaches a family and say, I want to marry your 12 year old daughter , and they say NO, will he force them? They need enlightenment instead. I did not mention numerous wives because, it is fellow woman like you and I, that will gladly be a 2nd/3rd/4th/5th wife regardless of religious/cultural practice, because of greed and fame! I did not mention the slap-on-the-wrist-punishment given to adulterous married men because married women are also up in their neck in the act! I did not mention helping out with chores, because it depends on ones home training.

So, women, let us simply pick our battles one by one and gradually,we will get what we want...RESPECT and RECOGNITION for our important roles in the society.
Thank you and have a blessed week ahead.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

LOVE IN THE AIR!

Flowers are beautifully displayed in shopping outlets. This always happens in valentine and mother's day celebrations. And of course, there are the big teddy bears, chocolates, cards and strawberries coated with chocolates. Love is in the air! And women continue to complain, they are not appreciated? COME ON! Wait until you see father's day display!😃

A Nigerian elderly man once said, his daughter must marry a Nigerian in this obodo oyibo, because he does not want her to forget her root and the thought of letting her go with a 'stranger' to a different state or country he might not visit often, was scary.This was a hot discussion or should I say debate like 2 years ago, and I was with the school of tort that said; 'where ever she finds love and happiness, let her go', afterall, he brought another man's daughter to a foreign land! And technology is there to help him keep in touch with her. I understood his fear as a parent, but as a woman, I know we want to be with the man that makes our heart go ji-gi-di-ji-gi-di like Nigeria locomotive.😆

Anyways,last month, I heard that the man started singing a different tune when he attended a wedding where a Nigerian lady married a white guy, who happens to be divorced. Trust Nigerians nau, it became a topic for gisting, abi, gossiping, anything una like, call am ... infact, we should be holding talk shows! Why? He saw many Nigerian single ladies at the reception, wishing, they have husbands regardless of the race, and when some shared their experiences with Nigerian guys, they vowed not to have anything with them again, and are ready to marry oyibo or latino! It was then he knew how far!

I have been observing the dating scene here and come to understand why parents allow their children date early as when they are in high school. Watching hollywood movies in Nigeria then, I wondered why parents will allow their children go out on a date? This is because, the thunderous slap or severe beating Nigerian parents will give their daughter if a boy has the audacity to come to their house to ask to see her, is better imagined than experienced, 'you don spoil!' Will be the insult hauled at her! That is why teenagers do corner-corner love, until they are very old enough, which can be in their 20's if not 30's sef, to tell their parents they have a boyfriend. Some parents don't want to know , but expects you to bring in a man to show them, when they start asking, 'where is ya husband?' As if, you will just wave a magic wand ,... abra-ca-dabra, husband materializes! Same parents that were playing the ostrich before o!  Our 9ja parents! I throw-way q-bey hands for una oo!

It can be very cold and lonely, I tell you! Especially for people not with their families. The mind-your-business-attitude, and 'I-don;t-want-litigation-issues-later' don't allow socialization. It is in schools, work places and religious gatherings that people meet and interact ... sometimes ... and it ends as they walk out of the doors. Most people drive rather than walk, public transport is not common in some states, like, where I stay in Texas, it is in down-town you will see public transportation, only Uber operates in the city I live. Some don't like riding buses because they miss the time schedules, and waiting in the cold during winter and under the blazing sun during summer, is something-else! So, how will people meet? No wonder bars and clubs are the places you will see many people in the evenings.

In Nigeria, 'good girls and boys' don't go clubbing!😏  You can be 'toasted' in the bus or while waiting at the bus stop. Your neighbour's son can be 'scooping' you when passing the front of their house. Or your gangster mother can 'set-you-up' with each other. Or your 'naughty' friend can match-mate you with her brother. The list is endless, because, we live in a communal system, unlike here. So, if 2 teenagers like themselves in high school, since they won't graduate until they are 17-18 years, parents allow them go to dates with a chaperone or after the no-sex talk,  because, many marry their high school sweet hearts, after their college degree or immediately self! My neighbour married at age 19, while her hubby was 20 ... 19 years later, they are still together with 4 kids.

I was amused when a girl said she has a crush on my son ... a very tall and pretty girl. I asked my son, he was shy to admit it first, but, after much cajoling, he opened up too ... I told him, I am cool with it ... they can be friends ... when they both go to university ... who knows?😁 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!💑

Monday, February 06, 2017

THE CHERRY-PICKING CHRISTIANS.

I do sometimes have a bible study with my children when we don't go to church. Last week, I talked about the 10 commandments, and as I read;'Thou shall keep the Sabbath day holy ....... I hesitated, because it brought back to my mind the question I had asked as a teenager then; If we all kept the Sabbath day holy, then who will be at the hospitals, police stations, fire stations, Electricity and water stations, and who will drive people to their various churches?

'Man was not created for Sabbath but Sabbath for man!' Jesus told the accusers of his disciples when they saw one of them 'working'.  Of course, I want to believe that we know that Sabbath was not originally on Sunday but Saturday right? And there is another perspective on what Jesus meant; we can decide whatever day we want our Sabbath to be ... Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday or Friday! 

Why am I bringing this up? It is because I realized you and I have become 'cherry-picking-Christians'. We simply pick whatever scriptures that suits our lifestyles. But the scripture says, God'd word remains the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow! And, when we break one of the commandments, we are guilty of breaking the remaining 9! SO THERE!

I work on Sundays, likewise many essential services needed for human survival. But the scripture says ... not even our animals, or  slaves   should work on that day, we should rest, because GOD who created the universe rested on the 7th day after working for 6 days! 

So my brothers and sisters, before we start putting on our 'holy' garments because we don't wear jewelries, or wigs, or apply makeup, or tie  our hair 24/7, or don't have premarital sex, or never miss night vigil or whats-nots! WE ARE ALL SINNERS! YEP! You and I! So brethren let us pluck that our  a** down on a chair, and take a deep look into our souls and know that we are simply living by HIS GRACE and you ... yes YOU! (pointing) That will come and read this post and carry your nose up in the air like an 'aristocrat' and quickly walk out with your sanctimonious cloak flapping behind you, you need the word more! For HE said, I will show mercy on whom I choose to!

Shalom!

Wednesday, February 01, 2017

IN THIS NEW MONTH KE?!

I know it is too soon to write another post when the previous is just 2 days old, but I want to serve it hot and don't be putting my muse on hold again and lose her in the process. SO! Blackky my cousin called me yesterday;

Aunty o!

Yes!

You remember the former place una live before una travel comot chei?

SHIOR! Which kain question be that? Why I no go remember? Which year I comot sef? I even remember the first place where my parents lived when they moved to lagos sef! 

HA! HA!No vex! Your body too dey pepper you sha! 

Ahahaha, you no serious at all! Nah me you dey talk to like that? You know say, I for don twist that your mouth for you, suppose, you near me!

TAAA! I am a big girl now o!

Big wetin? E neva tey when I stopped changing your nappy sef!

AUNTYYY! HIAN!! E don do!

I hear! So whatsup?

Ehen-ehen, you know all those shop-containers inside and around the Estate?

Yes.

Them don they destroy all o! 

Say WETIN?

Yes oo!

I dey go badagry, when I see commotion every where as I pass mile 2. Then, I hear people dey talk say, govt wan come destroy containers na dey for near road, around the estate and inside sef. They don give them notice since, but they think say, ' na-as-usual', nothing go happen. Some come write petition when they know say water don pass garri...

Ehen-ehen?

...but dem no look their face! See wahala for everywhere o, I no fit take picture, I for send you.

NA WA! E mean say, my turkey customer cold room, the bakery and that popular evening supermarket will be affected ! OGA OOO! People's livelihood in this recession, gone just like that?

NA SO OO!

That was how houses,  hospitals, and schools were destroyed when they wanted to expand the road about 10 years ago, now this?

Na so we see am oo!

So, were will the traders go now, ehen?

Some go rent shop inside that rice market. Some, find where to put their load first.

SIGH!

We talked more, but I don't want to bore you guys. For those who don't understand all that jargon up there; My cousin was simply telling me that shops are being destroyed in the former Estate I lived before relocating, thereby making things more difficult for people.

I trust my country people, they will always overcome any hurdle on their lane! I am so concerned about my friend, whose shop was affected, after spending so much on renovation last year. I spoke to her yesterday after chatting with my cousin. It's well!

Sunday, January 29, 2017

THE MARKET WOMAN!

'STOP BEHAVING LIKE A MARKET WOMAN!' These words are usually used by Nigerians to cuss out people. I have not heard any Nigerian cuss out, with;'STOP BEHAVING LIKE A MARKET MAN! Why? It is because,men-traders are called business men! These words are used derogatorily because traders are loud, calling out to customers to patronize them, they quarrel with their neighbours if they tried to lure a customer away from them, and when offended they curse out using expletive words! And I wonder how this is different from what I read and see everyday in social media, amongst politicians, neighbours, friends and work places huh?

The Nigerian market woman is not respected ! But, many are mothers to graduates, millionaires, billionaires. celebrities,that  people wish to meet or marry! And some successful children are ashamed to mention their mothers sell/sold in the market! I see such children as ungrateful! Many have built successful business from scratch and are employers of labour! Many families today, are living off the legacy left behind by their mothers! An elderly woman in her 70's has a company that distributes goods, with graduates as accountant and sales reps! She said, she started selling under the bridge by 7up-Ijora (people living in Lagos will know there).

Nigeria markets are very busy and noisy because people from all walks of life visit there and you expect it to be without drama? WHOSAI! Even in boardrooms, quarrels do arise! Some clients or boss will download your life's history for you, if they are disappointed with your service or lost money in a business transaction! HUMPH! A friend said she visited her husband and he was in a meeting with his business partners, so she waited for him. She was surprised to see them shouting at each other, having a big quarrel, that she became worried, thinking the partnership was over! After a while, they came to an agreement and business continued as usual! How is that different from what we see daily in the market place? OH! Is it  because the market woman is not dressed spiffy and in a fancy building? I hear! With the flowing gutters, muddy ground, garbage strewn here and there, flies and rickety vehicles pumping out black smoke?  
source


Yes o! Even that tomatoes seller is someone's mother whose child can be a president tomorrow! INFACT! In this time of recession, the market woman is 'bae' now! She determines the price she wants to sell her goods, and you will buy by force by fire! You will be the one begging her to reduce price sef! She is the reason some homes can boast of a meal a day, because she sells on credit to them! She is a therapist to many women who feel comfortable unburdening themselves to a stranger who might not see them again for a while. They are more enlightened about the realities of life because they deal with all kinds of people and learn a thing or two from them.

The Nigerian market woman is a hardworking individual who against all odds strive to ensure her family don't go hungry and her children either learn a skill or get a university education to pave their own path in life. Hence, they should be accorded all respect because it is not easy all! 

My favourite market woman was the lady who sold soup ingredients. While grinding my ogbono/egusi or slicing vegetable, we would gist, together with other women waiting for their items. So tell, who is/was your favourite market woman and what do you talk about while waiting for your items? Infact, It was from a market woman I knew that 'the rich also cry!' (who remembered this old soap opera in the early 90's?😄)  Gracias! 




Monday, January 23, 2017

FAMILY IS BAE!

Hey! It's not too late to say HAPPY 2017! Right?  Who made new resolutions? I am not good at making and keeping any! I Simply make certain changes and try to be consistent. I took a long look in the mirror and decided that I will be a person of fewer words, but when I kept quiet people asked me if I was ok? Even my hubby gets worried when I don't reply back with a thousand words per seconds! AHAHA!

I observed that people talk more on topics that bothers them the most. For instance, Bollywood movies stress more on love-marriage because arranged marriage is part of their culture. Nolly-wood portrays our fetish side because voodoo is one of Nigeria problems! Holly-wood emphasis on family-bonding, because it is lacking here! While, I write more about entitlement mentality and our traditions, because it pisses me off!

I worked on Christmas, boxing day, new year eve, new year,and my birthday. I have to find a hidden spot to say my new year prayer whilst my husband and kids did theirs at home (first time in our family). Most times, work comes first, and the family bears the brunt. Remember, I told you guys how I asked for a night off to prepare my kids for their new day at school and my request was declined twice? I insisted, and, it was approved reluctantly! I was surprised, because I believed family came first!  A co-worker had to resign 3 weeks ago, when she could not cope leaving her children alone at night with her sibling. Her husband works in a different city. Before she started having kids, she did 3 jobs, now, she cannot cope with 1 because her family comes first!

I requested for 5 days off (it was quickly approved oo, so I can go with my wahala ... ahahha) to have quality time with my family ... only to fall sick! It was yesterday, I felt much better and went to church for the first time this year. It was refreshing; 30mins for worship, 1 hour for sermon, and back home by 12 pm! No paparazzi or whats-not! Being AS, I seldom fall sick, but when I do, you will see it in my eyes. Hence, whenever I complain of being sick, hubby knows, it is serious! He sees me as a super-woman! I have told him several times, I AIN'T ONE! Why will he believe when my previous and current wellness results says other wise huh? 

It amuses me when I see the surprise on people's face when my blood work results comes in. I am like; seriously? Because, I am plus size, then I will not be healthy? We are a product of our environment and lifestyle. We should all stop judging a book by it's cover! That was why I was surprised that this particular post got the highest traffic, for the fact that only one person commented! It's not always as it seems. This applies to every aspect of our lives.


my 2016 wellness result


I want to hear from you guys, will you choose work over family?
Thank you and have a blessed week ahead.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE!

We went to my brother-in-law's house to celebrate the Christmas as we did last year because it has now become a 'tradition' in our family. They celebrate thanksgiving with us and we all go and celebrate the new year with another Nigerian family friend. 

How did this tradition come about? I seriously don't know! It just happened my sister-in-law came to help me bake my first thanksgiving turkey since I didn't know how to do it and we celebrated together, the next thanksgiving, I did it myself and invited them over to come and see it ... then I began inviting them with our mutual friends. They in turn invited us for Christmas when hubby told me I should not stress myself cooking when I was heavily pregnant for my son who is 3 years old today, so, they invited us over,  then we went again, and again ... our mutual friend celebrates her eldest son's birthday during new year, so we all go there ... now, it became a tradition! You see how certain traditions came about? And next generations will now hold strongly to it, likely adding their own and say, that is how our 'fathers' did it in the olden days ...  as some Nigerian cultures came about!


pounded yam

ogbono soup

jollof rice


We all chip in to make it less stressful for the hostess. Our mutual friend brings pepper soup, I prepare ogbono soup while my sister-in-law prepares jollof rice and pounded yam, and small chops. These are aspects we are each good at, which I believe life should really be about; Maximizing our good aspects to complement each other, be it in our homes or work places, and letting go of our flaws. 


New year is 4 days away, and we shall all cross over by HIS GRACE and MERCY through CHRIST our SAVIOUR.  This should be a moment of sober reflection by looking into the mirror and seeing who we really are and improving on ourselves. 
Take care everyone and see you all in 2017.




Thursday, December 22, 2016

CHRISTMAS IS HERE!

3 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS! And yep! I am shouting it out! And Nope! I will not paste the Christmas decoration pictures I took of other homes since, it didn't come out good, because, I tried to snap from a distance. All the same, there is excitement in the air, shopping galore at the toys section, quite different from back home, rather, new clothes, shoes, bags and don't forget the trendy and crazy hairstyles!

my own little decoration.

Yesterday was my 2nd son's 9th birthday, next week will be my 3rd son's 3rd birthday, 2 weeks time, will be my 43rd birthday! 3 Capricorns, just as I have 3 Tauruses ... plenty drama in da house! Hmmm, at my age, you will at least agree with me that, I must have picked many lessons of life from here and there abi? Okay nau, let me share very few with you guys then;

Number 1! People will always say things are different when it happens to them! They don't apply the same advice they gave someone in a similar situation in the past. We are self-centered, and please don't accuse me of generalizing, because nobody wants his own to spoil because of another person! It is called self-preservation!

Number 2! Don't put mouth in husband and wife's palava! They will always sort it out! Be on the fence, regardless of who is right or wrong...well, of course, except is your own sibling or child! Which takes us back to #1 where I said we are all self-centered! My own, your own, our own is different! If I lie, ask our politicians and celebrities!

Number 3! All kids lie!...YES! Including yours! #pointing to you!# 'Who spilled water on the floor?' Who broke the dish?' Who left candy wrapper on the chair?' 'Who just farted?' 'NOT ME! I DON'T KNOW! 'THEN WHO DID IT?' 'Maybe it was the dog?' The poet who wrote the popular poem I read in my form 2, 'MR NOBODY' knew what he was talking about! It is easy to point accusing finger to someone's child and call him/her a liar, but not ours...but wait a minute! WHERE IS THE OTHER 4 FINGERS POINTING TO? Yeahh, you got my point right? OH! What kind of lies did you think I was talking about before? Wait until they are adults like us and start dishing out the same kind of lies written in social media platforms and told in relationships. If you believe every posts and comments in blogs, 'on your own', is your case! The lies some people tell will see you picking your jaws from the ground! I raise Mrs Bee's hands for them!

Number 4! Experience and environment shapes our thought process and beliefs. To each to their own! Some are quiet, some are chatty. The truth is that the chatty ones don't spill out their secrets. While the quiet ones spill at vulnerable moments.

Number 5! Not all kindness is good! Surprised?! It could be a trap! When an individual is exceedingly kind to you, search within and around you, to find out what the person is looking for that you cannot see! When humans sing your praises too much, they simply want something from you, or they are digging a pit in front of you! 

Thanks for reading always and I will truly appreciate it, if you guys will share with me the lessons you have learnt in your lives. Compliments of the season to y'all!


Sunday, December 11, 2016

SLEEP APNEA.

HA! First time to have a weekend off after 10 months! Instead of me to be catching up with all the sleep I missed during the week, I was tidying up the house! I have finished, watching Tv and my eyes fell on my laptop......
SO! I want to talk about sleep apnea! The first time I heard these words were the early months when I started working overnight and a Nigerian guy advised me not to do it for so long, because it has it effects! This guy suffered from Sleep Apnea, not related to working overnight o, he just mentioned it.

 He worked overnight for a long while before doing day job. It all started with the heavy snoring, that made his wife to either sleep in the parlour or use earplugs! And the gibberish he said when sleeping! Then he began falling asleep on the wheel during the day, that he would park in a gas station and nap for 10mins or more to clear his head. His wife began praying fervently, because they believed their village people were on his matter!

It was not until he gave a ride to his wife's friend, that they came to know what his problem was! The friend told his wife that his heavy breathing sounded like that of her cousin's who was later diagnosed to have sleep apnea, that he needed to go and see a specialist. His wife opened up to her, and his friend said her cousin flat-lined twice before they knew it was very serious! He went to see a specialist, after sleeping 2 days in the clinic under observation, he had narrow nasal passage and his sleep Apnea was severe!. A minor surgery was carried out to correct the nasal passage and the gadget was ordered for him to be sleeping with, everyday! He said, 'I slept like a baby, the first day, I used the mask, and woke up without a headache!' He does not snore heavily again or talk gibberish! But it did not come cheap! Medical ain't cheap here, bruhh!


source


It became a topic of discussion and we realized, this is probably what some people are suffering from, back home and we point accusing fingers ..... Many religious people will say,' NOT MY PORTION!' But the truth my fellow Nigerians, is that, not everything is spiritual! And atimes, it is good to talk about your pressing problem, because you don't really know who has the right info to give out. And never wave aside anybody as inconsequential! One word or one direction can save a life!

Have a blessed Sunday, y'all. 
P.s Christmas very close now...beautiful decorations everywhere. I might stop and take pictures one night on my way to work.
P.s.s..Lemme go and bake a cake then.




Monday, December 05, 2016

MY COLLECTIVE THOUGHTS.

December has rolled in like play, like joke!
HAPPY NEW MONTH OOO! 
Here are thoughts that would have made different posts throughout the year, but...

I read a lot of quotes on  fb, like 'Nobody wants to see you progress, except your parents.' I was tempted to tell the poster including you! Apart from your parents, you also fall into the group of NOBODY! And some so-called inspirational stories are so unrealistic! Infact, I skip such 'far-fetched stories'!

Toke's book brought in a lot of reviews. My own candid opinion on it, is that, everybody have their own story to tell, so if she chooses to tell hers, please let her be! What goes on behind closed doors in many relationships is like her story if not worst sef! Yet, she is being called names! WOMEN! I fear and hail us o!

A 3 year old boy was beaten to death by his mother's boyfriend because he soiled his pants! I wept reading the news. Men cannot tolerate children from other men, especially boys, but expect women to love and care for his own children from their numerous baby mamas! This is one of the reasons, some families don't encourage women to divorce their husbands or be having children for different men! 

How wicked can someone be to poison a fellow co-worker's food that was kept in the fridge? I now understand why some of my co-workers leave their lunch bags in their cars! Why some will throw away coffee in the pot and make a fresh one! I read how a male teacher was peeing into the coffee pot of his fellow teachers because he disliked them! Why some go out o buy snacks! I will be leaving my lunch bag in my car now o!

My co-worker dislike me ehen! Why? I dunno! I asked him if I had offended him in any way? He said, No! Then wetin I DO YOU? Na him body go pepper and bite am tire! I was trained to take over the position of his partner that asked to be transferred to another branch. This guy was sabotaging my work! When I found out, I requested to be taken off that particular task! I no fit shout abeg! Another guy is being trained to assist him. 

Is it by force to help someone break 'egusi'?{gossip} A co-worker brought 'egusi' for me to break, I stylishly dodged it! She has a grudge against a co-worker, since, I have a good rapport with my ogas at the top, she wanted me to snitch. WHOSAI! Instead I shifted her 'load' to her fellow parapo person.This worker said, she was the one that told her in the first place sef! OTURUGBEKE!  You see as these people want to rope me into their web of wahala? She come dey carry face for me. This time, I know why someone is keeping malice with me.  Infact, she recruited her friend to join, by the time I boned both of them wella, her friend head come down and she tried to be cool with me again ... but that is not gonna happen ... that 'ship' don sail go sinceee! I am the only dudu in our department o. Abeg, make dem carry their 'loco-loco' vamoose!


Alright my guys, daz all. Gracias.



Thursday, November 24, 2016

CAN ANYTHING GOOD COME FROM.....?

I do attend a women's bible fellowship weekly, and we studied the gospel of John. We do read ahead before the day and discuss the words that really spoke to us and ask questions on the verses we don't understand. NOBODY is the teacher, EVERYBODY is a teacher! The words that touched me most last week was 'Can anything good come from Nazareth?' John 1:46. I believe many of us Christians know the story around this verse. But for the non-Christians, it was said about Christ when John the baptist pointed Him out as the messiah and the people were surprised he came from a small poor town, which others looked down upon!  No, I am not going to preach but to share my story.

You see, we humans only believed certain group of people deserves the best of life because of their looks, financial status, jobs, pedigree, and what-ever! Can anything good come out of Nazareth? Can anything good come out of Nazareth? Can anything good come out of Nazareth? I am repeating the words because I want the meaning to sink in and help you understand why it touched me now, for the fact that I have been reading this particular verse for years ... it is my testimony!

I was bullied as a child because of my weight. I grew a thick skin over the years and a hard shell since blogging, because many people believe being big does not give you the right to be loved, talkless of getting married or you don't have anything 'upstairs'! I have read a comment in a blog were someone said, fat girls MUST be nice ALWAYS if they want to have friends! I read many comments on the pre-wedding photo that went viral some months back about the size of a bride. And I was like, if physical appearance alone was the criteria for marriage, many women would still be in their fathers' house and some of the people cussing her out, won't probably have been born, because no man would have wed their own mothers!

SO! I got married, and the tongues were wagging. My hubby is tall, slim, fair, and good looking,, so he could have gotten any lady he wanted, but, he went for a short, fat, dark, plain looking girl! 'What do you see in her?' they asked him. For those who read my old blog, I have shared how we met. Well, let me refresh your memories. We were in the same P.G.D management class. We had a test in accounting, while I was busy reading alone at my desk, he was looking at me wondering why I was not up and about like other females in the class looking for who will teach them. So, he came to my desk, and asked me to please explain few topics to him because he missed few lectures. So I did and he was impressed, especially as he passed well. We decided to form a reading group with another lady. He asked me out, I refused. He was on my case for 8 months, before I gave in. Someone told me to my face that I was lucky my husband married me! I heard a gossip that, no man will marry me because I am big!


 What did he see in me? ; My 'average 1.Q' my sense of humour, my honesty, my loyalty, my endurance, my prudence, my humbleness, my commitment'  my neatness, and my hard-working attitude.  He also saw my quick temper, my stubbornness, my quick to forgive slow to forget attitude, my low ambitious drive, my average cooking skills'. And we have been together for 17 years ... married for 15, and he told me he is blessed to have a wife like me! Hmmm ... can anything good come out of Nazareth?


I was not working! OH! The insults came pouring in from every angle, that few pierced my thick skin and hard shell. that  some nights my pillow was soaked with tears ... I was depressed, which I commented in a blog and made a wonderful friend from there. I had little or no respect from neighbours, families, friends and bloggers! Then 2012, a door was opened for me by a mighty gracious hand. Again, the disbelief from them, because they never believed a 'low class' (according to a commenter because my hubby didn't assist me in doing chores in Nigeria) housewife can get a permanent resident visa!  Hmmm ... can anything good come out of Nazareth?


To  my wonderful friend Patrina.



YES! YES! AND YES! GOOD THINGS CAN COME OUT OF NAZARETH! WHY? BECAUSE THE CREATOR OF THE HEAVENS AND EARTH SAID,' I WILL SHOW MERCY ON WHOM I CHOOSE TO, AND THE RACE IS NOT FOR THE SWIFT OR THE STRONG BUT TO WHOM I POUR MY GRACE UPON!'


Today,  I am working! Hubby helps with chores and shopping and I still weigh 258.4 pounds. {117.2kg) with my plain looks. 

My body, soul and spirit, magnify thy O'LORD!
My heart is filled with praises to You, my CREATOR!
I lift up my hands in gratitude to You, my KING!
I thank thee for ALL You have done in my life, my DEFENDER!
From the depth of my being, I say THANK YOU SO MUCH, PAPA!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING AMERICA!

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

WHAT IF THERE WERE NO TRADITIONS?

I went to visit my neighbour who just had a baby and they were curious to know how Nigerians welcome a new baby. Trust me, I didn't disappoint at all! I regaled them with tales from my home land, which I later found out some were  myths . The husband then told me, he asked his wife why she always cuts off both ends of the ham before cooking it? She replied that, it was a tradition in their home. When they met her grandmother at a family event, he asked her the reason behind the tradition because it was not practiced in his family and many other families he knew. Guess what the grandmother said?..... 'Oh! My crock pot was a bit small for the big ham my husband always brought home, so I cut off the edges for it to fit into the crock pot'. His wife was surprised! Since then, his wife does not cut it off again. I can use her reply to analyze 2 different scenarios, but let me leave that for another day.

This made me remember  a piece of Chimamanda's speech where she said, Men were not created for culture but culture were created by men. Culture or tradition is to help have an organized community. It is like when Jesus told his disciples that men were not created for Sabbath, but Sabbath was created for men! Since culture was created for us, it is subject to change because the world is evolving and change is the only constant thing in life! 

See ehen, there are some culture or tradition or norms or practices in our families, marriage, church, tribe and society as a whole which needs to be discarded asap! Some decisions were based on ulterior motives! And, we are quick to jump on the bandwagon without knowing the reason behind the driver's choice of destination! I remember my mum never allowed us to drink the water from a coconut because 'they say' that it will not make a child intelligent. As silly as this sound right now, we always threw it away! One day, we revolted! We drank it and continued drinking it! We concluded that the old men in the village simply loved the sweet water in the coconut, so to prevent the younger ones drinking it when prying the coconut open, they came up with such tradition! AHAHAHHA!

SO! I am wondering what if there were no traditions, how would it have been?