About Me

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I am a homemaker.
I believe in GOD and not in religion.
I am tenacious and sometimes controversial.



Thursday, May 26, 2016

PLEASE, I DON'T HAVE A HEADING, O JARE!

I have been off for 2 days, going to work this night and while resting after taking my Tylenol as usual and preparing my clothes for tonight, I realized I have not regaled your guys with gist from my place of work. You know, where 2 or 3 humans are gathered, there will always be politics, controversy and drama.Some might wonder, why I am always talking about my work, since I managed to get a job? Well, for the simple reason that I don't want the over-sabi working women that used to cuss me out,  not to forget, and to let them know being a SAHM is not laziness or docility! My male cousin was asking me 3 days ago in our group chat why women are their worst enemy? This was because, his wife is always yabbed by women since, he told her not to work. I told him how a fellow woman called housewives maggots waiting for their husbands to buy pad for them. He was so shocked! Hey, to the anonymous that wrote that, my hubby still buys my pad and panties! You can go anonymous to cuss SAHM again...you go tire! If your hubby is not buying it for you, he is doing it for his side chics, be forming miss independent, while he is spending his money on his mistress while you foot most bills at home. The 'unexpected' you guys always talk about, I wonder if it cannot happen to you also....abi people don't lose their jobs and businesses collapses everyday? Are you GOD huh? Or do you know the wife's family background ehen? Always drinking panadol for other people's headache! And to you housewives that will not live within your means and be beggy, beggy everywhere, stop disgracing yourself! You know what your husband can afford, manage with it and siddon in your house! If it is garri or aje tutu {iced fish} you can afford to eat, do so quietly in your house! If you cannot afford diaper, use cloth nappy! If you cannot afford designer wears, abeg, made proudly  in Aba is there! You know you did not marry a 'Dangote or Danjuma', yet you want to frustrate the poor man with your demands! Respect yaselves! OK! Ranting over! Jeez! It has taken half of the post already, and this was not my original post,  and I did not paragraph it sef! I just wanted to get it off my sleeve....

NOW! Back to the original gist at hand.  My first week at work, I greeted everyone I saw immediately I came in. On the second day, a male co-worker who welcomed me warmly on the first day, suddenly grew cold, I thought it was bipolar thing. I noticed a particular lady always shy to reply, and avoiding my greetings by forming busy immediately she sees me come in, or avoid eyes contact. When I was gisting a fellow Nigerian what was up, she told me, I should stop, because they think I am 'interested' in them! EX-SQUEEZEEE ME? {In mindy's voice} She laughed and said, welcome to the working environment. Then I must be interested in the others that reply my greetings warmly and even call out to me if I don't see them. Well, I stopped greeting those 2,and few others that gave me the blank stares, like; 'I beg you to greet me?' WAHALA DEY! Everything in this world now have sexual undertone! There is a lesbian couple in my place of work. Initially, I thought, they were sisters because they ate and went home together. I watched them with curiosity, until I saw the 'man' in the relationship looking at her with soft eyes and always protective. Her dressing and walk gave her away too.

Lemme stop here for today, I will continue to yarn you guys small small. I have to sleep now, I have 6 hours to go. Thanks for reading always. 

Thursday, May 19, 2016

EMOTIONAL CHEATING.

Why do people think, until you sleep with someone that is when you have cheated? The flirting, sexting, spendings and hanging out, is what? As long as your thoughts are about someone else than your spouse, it is cheating!

I was chatting with a relative back home on the phone and of course we talked about Lekan, and she told me about a neighbour (I know him well!) who was suspected of having an affair with a divorcee with 6 children! His wife raised alarm about 2 weeks ago when she traced him down, after not sleeping at home one night. The man of course denied it! She munched their chats as proof, {snooping is good abeg!} His defensive was that, he was yet to sleep with her, so, technically, he has not cheated! My relative said, the sweet words from the munched chats showed people that are in love! Her ex husband was a divorced man before she married him, (so, e don dey for her body be that!) and nope, DV is not the crime here, rather the man got fed up with her and left the house and later remarried. 

SERIOUSLY?  Emotional cheating is even the worst in my own opinion. It has to do with the heart! It is from the abundance of a man's heart that he speaketh! The cheating men sometimes claim having sex outside marriage is just a physical thing without any shred of emotion attached! I always disagree with that school of tort because, unless that is her 'job' you don't need to woo her , since her motto is 'money for hand, back for ground', shikenah! But if it is not her 'line of profession' you have to 'toast' her to accept,so sharing endearments is cheating! The heart is more fragile than the body. It hurts more than the body. If a wife dare tries what some men do and is discovered, the husband will call the whole village on her head and won't mind if she is stoned to death in the town square! 

Cheating is cheating abeg! Be it with your heart (emotional) or body(physical)! Many times, it starts with the heart and ends with the body!
Happy weekend to y'all!

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

THE 'YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND PART' YOU DON'T KNOW!

The Nigeria media has been agouged with Lekan, the Lagos boy news! I have read so many comments from different sites since the story broke out. I wanted to pen down my thoughts at my  P.O.V corner,(at the left side of my blog) but I have so much to write that it was turning into a post and using my phone was out of it, hence, I decided to wait for my off day to use the laptop...OH! You guys seriously thought, I was not gonna use hubby's laptop huh? He will only say; 'You this, omo-Edo! I will reply, 'wetin? I no try? I did not use it for a week ke! We will start to tease ourselves, , but one thing for sure, I won't get another laptop until we conclude what we have budgeted for this year, just as he did for my phone.....OH! I forgot about updating you guys about that, he got it on my birthday, I picked a Samsung galaxy Note 5. Alright! Back to the topic at hand.

All have been said on domestic violence, and why some Nigerian wives still refused to leave their abusive marriages. YES! We have read, it is because of shame, society, sex, no where to go, and finances. Yet! Nobody is ready talk about it in the real details, because, they believe people will not understand. So, I am going to try to explain it and avoid a long post while doing so....hopefully.
My empathy goes to the children who have to stay with their mother's corpse until they were rescued. This is to show you how hard a man's mind can be! Some husbands threaten their wives not to go with their children, thus, the thought of leaving their children behind is  very scary! Have we not read,how some fathers beat their children, and they later died? Some end up being maltreated by their father's new wife! Some might not bother about the children's education, especially when they fail their WAEC OR JAMB at first attempt! Some fathers sexually abuse their daughters! Some children become malnourished? It is not everything, wives say outside so as not to be used as a yard stick by other women to measure their own marriage! My parent's neighbour used hot iron to burn his son's leg when his new wife reported something he did! My mum was livid and told the wife that she could have prevented it!

Do we think it is all parents that live in their personal houses or have investments or pensions (are they even paid sef?) to fall back on? They depend on the stipends and food stuff their daughters send to them monthly. Regardless she is working or not! When she thinks of leaving and consider the responsibilities that awaits her, she will rather endure the abuses, as long as the man does his duties at home, while she uses part of her salary to take care of her aged parents. Some housewives get large housekeeping allowances from their husbands which they will split and send it to their parents. If she leaves, how will her parents manage? I know of a woman who did that, and used it to train her younger ones to university. Her husband complained taya! 


Do we think women from abusive marriages don't want companions again? The truth be told, some can suppress that urge while some cannot! Some have low body esteem, that the thought of another man seeing them in their birthday suit is dreadful! And  it is mostly married men who are likely their friend's or neighbour's husband that will want to sleep with them, because they know them and their financial capability! This is why society, church, friends and parents tell them to stay! In the Estate I lived in Nigeria, a man was sleeping with his cousin's ex-wife! He wanted to send his wife away sef, but family intervened, he reluctantly left her!



Do we think these wives have good relationship with their siblings and parents? Apart from some being orphans, some cannot go anywhere near their relatives! Why? Maybe they were against the marriage in the first place! or She ignored them when the going was good! Or they never had a bond as a family to start with! Hence, she will rather suffer it in silence. And some, maybe in their lineage, the women never stayed in their marriages and they want to break that jinx by persevering. The same woman I mentioned above married her husband against her family's consent. One night, she ran to them with blood on her face, they asked her where does she wants to go with 6 children and did they not warned her? The man even planned to kill her to marry his cousin's wife! She found a dagger under their matrimonial bed! Abeg! Story full ground!


Do we think some of the women from abusive marriages don't have flaws of their own huh? Some are trouble with a capital T! And there is a limit to human kindness. How long can a sibling or friend or relative harbour her? After few months, friction will rear it's head, either from the host or the guest! I know of a relative who went to stay with her younger brother with his wife when she left her husband. This relative will give the burnt and black part of bread to his brother's children to eat while give her own children the inner and softer part. Because her brother was living in a room and parlour while she was married to a rich man, so her children deserved the best! Bread she did not buy with her money o! Of course, one of the children complained to their mum! What of my neighbour's elder sister whose husband drove out, that almost scattered  his own marriage within one year of living with them? She moved her things out one hot afternoon, without telling her brother, who said, he now understood why she was sent packing by her husband!


Lemme stop here, so as not to make it long. To conclude my thought on this Lekan the Lagos boy matter, if his 'team' is claiming it was a crime of passion, regardless his incoherent lies, then, the Government would have been building more  prisons, cemeteries and orphanages ,  if ALL Nigerian wives killed their husbands for infidelity! MEN CANNOT TAKE A QUARTER OF THE NONSENSE THEY DISH OUT TO THEIR WIVES! 'I know I am not a saint!' - Lekan. I HEAR!

 Let her soul rest in peace and GOD in HIS infinite mercy be with the innocent children and comfort her widowed mother and only sibling. Amin.

Sunday, May 01, 2016

THE COFFEE MAKER!

What a title right? What is nitty gonna talk about a coffee maker, huh? Well, why don't you read along and find out sweetie? #smiles# Oh! By the way, have you read my thoughts on the trendy gist in the media of recent? If not, check by the left side column of my blog and you will see where I penned down my opinion. Since, I am always behind to talk about the reigning news, I decided to be writing it out as it happens,without putting up a new post. If you are using your mobile, you have to scroll down and click on the web version to see it. Gracias! Oh! Another thing, I am using my phone to post, please pardon any error you see, and on my break. Oh! There is more, I damaged my dear Mr Lappy, and hubby told me not to touch his, because if he counts the number of laptops he has bought for me, e reach to open shop! Ahahaha. Not my fault, truthfully speaking, I just saw it on the floor! #throwaway face go one corner# Kai! It takes time to use  phone ooo. No shakibg! At all! At all! Nah im bad! #shines teeth#

Alright! I was talking about.....wait o! Is today not workers' day in 9ja? HEY! MY PIPO, I HAIL UNAH OOO! HAPPY WORKERS! DAY! GOD almighty will continue to strengthen y'all and put yanful, yanful money for unah  pocket. Make unah say a resounding AMIN!  EHEN! E-hen, as I was talking, there is a coffee maker in the break room. Management wants everybody to dey sharp for work, so they supply us with plenty coffee, creamer and sugar to make us chirpy and alert like an owl at night! #grinning# And e dey work well! Me that don't drink coffee before, now, I don join the association of coffee drinkers by force by fire! The before and after effect is as clear and different like 7up! 

So! The old coffee maker broke down! Management got this new digital one thst many of us could not operate at first because, you have to set the temperature and time right to keep it hot. And the coffee pours out like that of water dispenser.  Unlike the former one, which has 2 hot plates and pots on it, that it is always hot, unless switched off. From one filter, we can get 2 pots of coffee! And it is very fast to prepare, unlike the new type, that takes longer! Hence, we were not drinking much like before, how did I know? Because the trash bin was virtually empty, unlike before that there will be an overflow if the housekeeper didn't remove the trash on time! Management observed this and changed it after 4 days of buying it! # Maybe employees were grouchy or cranky or sleepy at their jobs!# ahaha. They now bought another one similar to the old model. But this has only one pot! Fair enough! Drinking galore resumed, but still not like before, because nobody wants to waste precious minutes from their break making a pot of coffee that others will line up for before the pot fulls! Now, I drink only a cup a day, instead of the 3 I drank ofen.

OOPS! Break over! Later my guys.  
Ok! I am back home. Lemme, complete this post before I breakfast and bath.

As, I processed this observation in my head, I realized these coffee makers can be subsituted for humans! Men that  abandon or leave or divorce their first wives always give the same excuses! She is old! She is not tush! She does not befit my new status! She is old-fashioned! She is not sexy! She does not satisfy me sexually! Blah, blah,blah and the list goes on and on!  They now marry the sexy, classy, sassy, and beautiful, woman of their dreams, abi choice, only to find out, she is not all, that she seems! That, the old stainless, rugged coffee maker was the real deal, unlike the plastic  pretty type! 

Until the 'other woman' wanting to dispose the lady of the Manor realizes that there is nothing special about her p****,  unless she squirts pure liquefied gold  or diamonds, she is living in eldorado! Listen! What is between your legs is not different from what is found in plastic life-size sex dolls! (which is in high demand now, because men that buys them says they sure of their faithfulness, medical status, and no emotional drama! ) Also, until men realized that the strength of one woman is the weakness of another, they will continue chasing shadows!

Marriage takes sacrifices, compromises and hard work to keep it going! Oh! You think i will mention love abi? I hear! Let us define Love: Love does not hurt. It is not boastful! It is forgiving. It is patient. It is kind. It is not selfish. It is not proud. It does not get easily angry. It is not jealous. And it does not keep record of wrongs! (1 cor.13.:4-7). Can we say there is love in marriages or lust?

HAPPY NEW MONTH! YE-HAW!!


Thursday, April 21, 2016

I AM STILL WHAT I AM!

'Remove the home-maker from your profile, now that you are working' someone told me recently. It made me remember an anonymous comment in my old blog, where I was advised to remove 'house-wife' from my blog name, since I got a job then. I don't know if you guys remember? Guess not? Well, you know what they say about we Capricorns huh? We don't forget so easily, especially shades, sarcasm and insults! ahahaaa...whoever came up with that joke, is not serious jor! But we do forgive, always, before you say sorry...not forget. OK, DOKEY! That is enough of that! So, as I was saying,  I said thank-you, but refused to adhered to the suggestion, because, I am still a home-maker, regardless of my 5 nights of work. My home comes first  because, family is everything!


Well, that is not what I really want to talk about today. It just came into my mind as I opened my laptop by 5.50am this morning, to update. It is about the Church! Hmmm, I can hear the hesitation as they read, because I know anything that's got to do with Christianity, some quietly walk away, but if we all continue to play the ostrich and do-not-touch-my-annointed-attitude, I DON'T THINK, WE WILL ALL BE ENJOYING THE FREEDOM OF WORSHIP IN DIFFERENT DENOMINATIONS TODAY! History told us how King James rebelled against the Catholic church and we have the church of England,  and everybody  have access to the bible, hence, the King James version of the bible is still one of the best sellers today and seen as authentic than the other versions. Then, the protestants (Anglican), Methodists, Baptists, and Pentecostals came forth...and more still coming!

I am a Pentecostal while my mum is an Anglican. That is how we now identify ourselves in the body of Christ. No longer we are Christians when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, like marriage. Hence, church has now become a franchise, like an organization! Because, Nigerians are known to identify themselves with certain brands or cliches,  so people who wants to open a church, will affiliate themselves with a popular church, to use their name and be paying monthly, as it is done in any other business! 

YES! It was a complete SHOCK to me, when a pastor of a church having the same name with the most popular church in Nigeria, said he could no longer continue paying the heavy dues imposed on him by the 'mother-church', so he is changing the name of his church! And all along, I thought, it was a branch of the mother's-church! People in the know-how were surprised at my reaction, because they thought it was an open-secret! I DID NOT KNOW OOO!

Why is he not able to pay? (He has to remit in dollars, not Naira! I have said it here before that Christianity in obodo oyibo is different from that in 9ja!) Because people will first sort out all their bills before being a cheerful giver or sowing seeds in faith or giving their first fruits to the church! Tithe? To each his own. One thing for sure is that, you cannot deceive them that it is for prosperity, quoting the famous Malachi verse! They know the church needs money to pay bills, like the pastor in the former church I attended, he clearly said it takes money to keep the church warm during winter and cool during summer, and where will the money come from, if not from the tithes and offering? This is simple logic reasoning, and not the brimstone and hell-fire preached in Nigeria churches to force people to give and enrich the church...oh! Did I ever tell you guys that my elder brother is a pastor? Likewise my first cousin? ahahaa.

Have a blessed weekend. About taking the kids to school, let hubby sleep today.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

SLEEPY-ME!...YAWNS.

'Go and sleep!' That was  what hubby told me as he drove away this morning with our baby at the back of the car to his office's day care. Did I sleep? FOR WHERE! I really wanted to, but as I picked a toy from the floor,  my tiredness disappeared and I tidied the house, took my bath, lied down, ... sleep disappeared FIAM! ! 11.09am, tossing around, so, I opened my lappy.


You see, hubby asked a female co-worker how she doess.rrrr (those were the  letter-keys I pressed when I fell asleep!..ahahha).  My guys, I can't believe I fell asleep while typing OO ....  eventually woke up past 7, when hubby came back from work with our baby. I didn't even know when my kids let themselves in with their key sef! I only heard their voices in my sleep when they came into my bedroom to greet me. I was fagged out! So glad it's my 2 days off, I will go back to sleep when the eba and vegetable I just ate settles down. Nope! I didn't cook. My daughter made the eba while hubby bought different soups from African store ... I am becoming lazy at cooking. #covers face#

source



As I was saying before I slept o jare, hubby was trying to find a solution to our day care issue, (so I can stop night work, he does not like it, but has to accept it..for now) and asked a colleague how she does it? That was when she told him she uses the company's day care on one of the floor's to help reduce the cost. The company is aware of the challenges parents face, and affiliated with a day care to help their employees. It is $60/day, the company pays $40, while the balance $20 is deducted from the employee's pay. WOW! Just wonderful! I was excited, but there is a catch..an employee can only use the opportunity for 20x in a year and 4 weeks in summer. No problemo! Half bread is better than none, at all, at all, nah im bad. Hubby takes him there twice a week. If an employee decides to be using the facility after the number of days expires, s/he has to pay the $60/day, which will be $300/week, and $1,200/month = House rent!


My pipo! Night work has it's side effects. You know me, I say it as it is. I am not a wonder-woman with extra-ordinary power. Some things suffer at home when women work! I have been at both sides and I tell you that, it ain't the same! I don't do some things again..like my blog..I don't update often..imagine just 2 posts in March? I don't blog -walk as before! My house is not as tidy as it used to be! Our love-making-life is dwindling! The  special bonding with my kids is reducing. For a woman to balance her career and family, there MUST be a good support system, from either her parents, relatives, maids or neighbours, until all her kids are old enough to take care of themselves and be left alone. Was it not few weeks back my relative got home by 12A.M because of traffic palava? Her maid was so worried, while her kids were asleep. And by 5.00a.m, she was out of her home again so she can be at V.I by 8!

Alright, daz all. Don't wanna talk too much. Thanks.

 

Friday, April 01, 2016

I AM A FOOL...NOT!

I will read about many pranks being played out by individuals on people until past noon today. Many will be called fools...albeit jokingly, but some pranks can go wrong, because not everybody have the same sense of humour and some people might be in a foul mood. It reminds me of  a story I read in a newspaper years ago, about a wife who refused to prepare breakfast for her husband that returned from his night shift. He eventually prepared it and went to have his bath. She ate it! He did not find it funny and expressed his feelings with several punches on her, it was neighbours that saved her! So people, be careful about how you make others look foolish all in the name of having fun! 


The scripture says we should not call anyone a fool, for we will be in danger of the fire of hell. (Matthew 5:22). Is there anyone on this earth who has not called anybody a fool, out of anger or joke? I have if you have not. SIGH! And today is APRIL FOOL'S DAY! Many souls are in danger already! LORD have mercy! The little things we take for granted. Can anyone explain this verse better for understanding? 

Sometimes, an individual can act like a fool for the sake of peace, which is by choice, but it is often taken advantage of by the I-am-smart-kind-of-people! I once said here how a guy called his friend a fool for helping him to and fro, from work, because, such is not done in yankee unless there is a financial agreement between both parties or alternated between both parties to save gas and relieve stress.

 I made a honest mistake of informing a relative about fb birthday notification error. She did not reply, instead, I was no longer in her contact! Abi, make I no pour san-sand inside her garri! Okay o! No problemo! Like uche, I  faced my front. Only for her to add me back last week, and as they say, the best defense is attack, she accused me of forgetting her. Like seriously?  She that unfriended me since 2014? I played along, because I know say, frog no dey jump out for daylight for nothing! And was I disappointed? N-A-Y! Since 2 days ago until this moment, she is asking me to push her something because she dey roast! HA! Because she don see mugu of the year BA? Or because I don't have problems of my own abi? Me, that cannot afford daycare for my son from my pay? Me that sleeps only 2 nights on my matrimonial bed? Then, I should send you my hard-earned $$$ after disrespecting me? This is the  best April fool's prank to me! I am a fool...NOT!

Daz all! Happy new month to y'all! YE-HAWW!
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